That perfect gift for the holidays

It's that time of year again. The trees are covered in snow outside. The ones inside are decorated with baubles and lights, the atmosphere is suppose to be one of joy and love and good will to our fellow man.

Unfortunately, it's also the season for trying to find out what is the perfect gift for the person you drew this year in the office Secret Santa gift exchange. For some, this can be a very difficult challenge. There are so many factors that go into picking out the p...erfect gift, and if they don't like it, well, that's the worst feeling.

So what do you get a person with whom you interact with on a daily basis, yet don't really know at all? There are the ones who buy everything they want for themselves, so it's not a matter of what do they need. Stationary is always a nice little gift, but, you don't seem to get the response that you're hoping for with a shiny new red stapler. Bringing anything that smells into an office in this day and age is now taboo, due to so many of us with environmental allergies, and as much as we all love Elizabeth Taylor's White Diamonds, it's a recipe for disaster for those with severe allergies and asthma.

Finding something that works for that person is a stressful thing. I personally hate going to the store to find that perfect something. Sadly my Secret Santa this year ended up with a blanket, a new calendar and a yo-yo. I could have handled that better. How? The answer was there the whole time, staring me in the face; get her a gift certificate for a massage.

Let's face it, the holiday season can put undue stress on any person who is buying gifts for friends, family, and of course, our work colleagues. We see how much stress they go through on any given day, we hear their stories of kids and friends, lovers and families and parents all the time. Our lives have become a constant stream of go go go without a thought of maybe, just maybe, we need to slow it down. The stress of everyday life is bad in and of itself, but, add the holidays to it, we seem to want to go overboard with gifts and never really find that perfect gift, which causes more stress than it needs to be.

What does that person really want? To relax for a few minutes and enjoy the quite, that's what they want. They want a few minutes to stop and get treated like a person who matters in the greater scheme of life. They want a massage. They need a massage.

This holiday season, try a different approach for a gift. Give them a gift of good health. Give them a gift of relaxation and some much needed 'me' time. Watch their faces as they open the envelop with the certificate, and see just how badly they have needed it. This year, give them a gift certificate for a massage.

The Confederate Flag

I have discovered in the last year that I love to run.  Not because it think it's great exercise or anything like that, I am not a big fan of the word exercise.  I prefer to say that I run so can come home and drink a beer and stretch and meditate.  That's what I love about it.  Not anything great about running 5 miles but, that stretch.  I love it. 

On Sunday, I took myself on my first full 5 mile run that I have ever done without stopping to walk or anything.  I was super stoked that I was finally able to relax into it and go.  About the time I hit almost 5 miles, there was a truck that drove past me with it's confederate flag waving proudly and I started to think about that flag and what it meant to me, but, more importantly, what did mean to the south back then.  What did it represent to them, that was worth fighting for?  Certainly the argument can be made it was about fighting for slavery, and I would say that's mostly correct.  I am seriously offended when I hear, why this flag is such a great one, and the south will rise again line of horse shit!  Whatever.  But I had watched Gone With the Wind this week, and while I know it's a bit fictitious, it's the way of life. 

So then it got me thinking, what was it about this life that was so great?  To start, life was simple, you knew where your station was in life and for the rich, I don't really think much has changed.  They still get sent to private schools and compete fiercely in sports, which leads them to be competitive in life which in turn, keep the rich, rich.  This is really what I got out of it:  The way of life to them was worth preserving.  They had slaves, true and that shit's bad, but, there was more.  The gentlemen were just that, gentlemen.  They opened doors for ladies, they stood up when I woman walked into the room, or when she got the table or the get up from the table.  They knew what manners were, they were able to learn to run their homes, which, in these cases were huge farms.  I run a small household and that's not always easy.  There was always scandals and gossip but there is that now.  The women, they were actual ladies.  They knew how to entertain, how to run the house, discipline the kids, teach their daughters how to be ladies and have manners and they could throw a party.  Not just a run of the mill party, but, huge massive events that took weeks to plan.  And it seemed everyone gave a party at least once during the season.  The dresses were never too revealing, though there was a lot of cleavage that could be seen. 

And then, if you look back to the where did they get this idea of high society and such, it came from England.  The Regency era was alive for many years from the 1700's to the mid 1900's.  Oh the fashion has changed and hem lines got shorts and neck lines plunged deeper, the scandals were just the same, but, this was a way of thinking in polite society.  The beauty pageants that we see now, are in memory of a time gone by.  Big dresses and hair, learning how to dance and sing, have different talents, be able to handle yourself in a conversation.  These things were a representation of the South.  I love all these things, the hair, the dresses, the carriage rides, the hand that helps a lady out of the vehicle.  At least, that's what I see. 

We now live in a world where these things are laughed at.  To be polite is be passive and to help a lady is considered to be pussy whipped.  A woman is laughed at when she wants to get dressed up to go out, or even to dress up for anything.  We think that nice jeans will suffice for that party.  The way that we treat each other as people, mates, friends, spouses, I think is just terrible.  We have lost the pride and respect for ourselves. 

I see the ones who say that the Confederate flag is not a symbol of oppression or slavery, it's of the south.  Yet these are the ones who aren't doing that way of life any justice.  They have mistaken the word southern for redneck.  A redneck is a whole other ball of wax that I don't wish to talk about.  But this is what I have to say to those who think it's still ok to say that's just what you're proud of.  Then be proud of that way of thinking.  Open the door for your lady, kiss her hand when she greets you, compliment her on her dress.  Learn to be what we would call a gentleman.  And Ladies... Respect yourself.  Let them open the door.  If your man opens the door for you, he is not trying to take away all the freedom that you have, he's not trying to tell you that you are incapable of this life without him, he's simply opening the door.  It's a way that people show they care, or they are respectful to you.  Learn to be a lady. 

Bottom line is this, I can't make you any less of a racist bigot than what you already are.  We are all a bigot in some ways, and it's a flaw that I try to work on every day.  But if you're going to be proud to be Southern, and wave that flag like you were there in the war hoping that your way of life would be preserved, then perhaps you should learn what it meant to be Southern, not a redneck. 

When did we become so easily offended?

This holiday season is one that I am looking forward to.  I am excited by it, I love the holidays.  Not because of gifts or anything like that, but, because of the season itself.  So then, why are we already seeing so many people offended by... are you ready for this one, a red cup. 

So, in hearing about this one, I knew I had to say something about it.  Our easily offended delicate natures are up in arms because it's not Christmasy enough.  It's a disposable coffee cup, that is red, with a white lid and the company logo on it.  That's it.  There is nothing else on it, there is no snowflakes to indicate winter season, no saying on it to wish anyone a happy winter holiday.  Nothing like that, it's just red.  Wow, it seems so obvious to me now.  Am I the only one that thinks this is just about as ridiculous as can be? 

People were offended because things said Merry Christmas, and what if they didn't celebrate that day, why should they have to be told something that if they don't believe in.  So then, in answer to that, we started to see things with Merry X-Mas, to let those know that we are trying to be more adaptable to other people's feelings.  But that's not cool... You have taken Christ out of Christmas and that's just sacrilegious because Christ is the reason for the season... So, we cautiously  put in here and there, just to those we know will or won't get offended by our words. 

When does this stop though?  When do we stop getting so upset by something that has nothing to do with us?  When are going to see that the actions of a small number of people are just that, their own actions?  When do we stop trying to blame others for our delicate sensibilities?  Personally, there are only one thing that really offends me.  Joking about rape, because, well, there is nothing funny about it.  And if you think there is, we aren't friends for a reason, due to the fact that, to me, there isn't anything funny about it.  Most people who have been brutalized in such a way don't think it's funny.  Ever.  Not even a little bit, not even in a joke.  That's the biggest one for me.  I can be offended by others but, if I do, then I let them have my power so I try not to get offended by little things.

And all of this pales in utter comparison to the fact that we should be paying attention to the world around us.  The one where we live, where the United States just gave Israel another 30 billion in aid.  Where in the world does a nation with a trillion dollar deficit get an extra 30 billion to give to anyone else.  Wouldn't we put that to better use maybe helping those who live here by fixing problems with the VA?  When is Israel going to pay us back?  Are we going to get the money back or are we just writing checks with a never ending bank account?  Where does this stop?    How can we as a nation say that we are in such financial dire straights and can't balance the budget and there are more and more cuts to Medicare and Social Security and we are giving other countries BILLIONS of dollars!! I think we have some of our priorities a little out of whack. 

I think we need to start taking a step back and realizing that we have become so narcissistic that we are unable to see anyone else's opinions.  We need to re-learn what it means to be humble and grateful and not so focused on stupid things that really aren't that important.  We need to take back our much-ness.  We use to be much more much-ier and now, we are not.  We seem to be a bunch of self entitled, internet dependent, instant gratification, assuming, easily offended brats.   I for one don't want to leave this place feeling like that is what I have left for my girls.  I am doing something about it.  I am teaching them to be quick to think, yet slow to reply.  Use manners, think before speaking, use sarcasim in moderation, the world already has an abundance of smart-asses.  I hope what I leave behind is a world they are ready for, because quite frankly, I am not pleased with it.  I am working to change it though... What are you doing to make it better?

How massage can help you stay healthy

I love how great I feel after getting a really good massage.  I feel like I can take such a nice long nap and it would be perfect way to end the day.  However, if I get one in the morning, often times a nap is not going to happen for me.  With so many reasons to love getting a massage, if I had to narrow it down to what I love most about a massage it's this, I feel so good afterwards. 


We all have some sort of little things that we do to keep us healthy, well, at least some of us do.  I run and stretch and meditate at least three days a week.  It would be ideal for me to do it four times a week, but, I haven't quite gotten to that point yet.  I also don't eat things that hurt my stomach thus, making the rest of my body feel so much better.  I don't eat wheat.  No because I have been diagnosed with anything, I just know that it hurts if I eat it, so I don't.  I don't indulge in too much alcohol, but I do have a beer at night after running while stretching.  I read so my mind stays active, I write to become a better writer.  I paint because I love how I feel while I'm doing it.  And I love to listen to music and just relax and watch the weather outside do its thing.  All of these I do to keep my healthy.  The most important thing I do, is get a regular massage.  I know of nothing better to keep my body is it's best shape that I can, and it's great for what it does for my peace of mind. 


Why is massage so important?  How does that keep me healthy and feeling my best?  There are lots of ways that massage helps.  For starters, if you think about the dis-ease that we suffer from that are generally terminal, they are caused from one of three things; poor circulation, inflammation of the body, and stress. 


Stress does so much to a body that it can boggle the mind what it's capable of.  There are so many people in our lives who have no outlet and the stress is literally tearing their bodies apart.  Pain of any kind, heart dis-ease, digestive problems, sleep problems, depression, weight problems, auto-immune dis-eases are all ways that our bodies react to stress overload.  With so much going on in our lives on a daily basis, it would seem that no one is really needing to have these kind of issues with their health.  But how do we deal with stress.  There are so many way to deal with and yet, we have to be reminded of it.  In fact, we as a society have gotten so lost, we have to pay someone to remind us to breathe and relax.  Go back to the basics, to when you were little and the hardest decision in life was do I finger paint the driveway right now, or do I go play tag.  What did we do to relieve our stress?  We played, we went outside and had fun rolling down the hills on the grass.  We laughed.  Our mom would rub our backs when we weren't feeling good, or kiss our knees when we fell off our bikes.  We loved life and didn't care about anything but having fun. 


There's that idea of touch again.  Fast forward to our lives now.  For me, in my thirties, I wonder where do I go from here.  I have so much stress that it tends to misuse my imagination a lot, but, with all of it, I make time to get the massage.  It allows my mind and body to free itself from the tension that comes from being an adult.  I am often asked how often should one get a massage and my response is always the same, if possible, once a week.  Not everyone can swing that, so for those who can't, once a month is good too. 


Inflammation of the body is one of those little things that creeps up on you and before you know what hits you, you have developed some sort of problem that you really don't have the time to deal with.  If left alone, chronic inflammation can lead to serious issues including some kinds of cancers, rheumatoid arthritis, congestive heart failure, atherosclerosis, periodontitis, and hay fever.  Once again, our lives have way too much going on for us to have to go through the pain and heartache of these problems.  A certain amount of inflammation is alright, especially when fighting off infections, but, in the case of excess inflammation, these are all possible outcomes.  Again, a massage offers a relaxing alternative to a vast industry of pills and cures.  (I'm not saying that everyone will be going off of their meds and before getting a massage, if you have these kinds of issues, you will need to consult with your doctor, and in some cases, have a doctor's note to receive the massage.)  By manipulating the bodies soft tissue, you are moving the lymphatic fluid and helping it to drain to the proper locations thus relieving inflammation.  This is why we are telling you to drink lots and lots of water to flush the lactic acid out of your body.  Also, to take a nice hot bath before you go bed.  Your skin is your largest organ and by sweating it out, you are doing exactly what your body needs to be doing.  Again, flushing out the lactic acid, though this way is through perspiration.


We have all seen what poor circulation can do to a person.  Makes them turn blue.  With good circulation, think of a child's cheeks after playing outside, all flushed and out of breath.  They are red as can be.  That's the flow of blood to the skins surface.  Some common problems with poor circulation include Peripheral Artery Disease, blood clots, varicose veins, diabetes, obesity, and Raynaud's dis-ease.  PAD, blood clots, varicose veins would all require a doctor's note before receiving a massage.


With so much that can go wrong with a body, a massage seems like a drop in the bucket in taking care of yourself, but to know that it can help with all of these things, that it can take the knots out of our bodies, help us sleep better, focus more, and feel a bit happier, perhaps you should ask yourself this instead: Isn't my health worth that much each month to take care of my body and mind? Isn't my peace of mind and attitude worth that much to help chase the gremlins out of my head?  Isn't my life worth that? 


If your still not convinced, try it for a few months and see what it can do for you.  You may just be surprised how much better your body feels afterwards.  Give it a shot, after all, we need to take care of our bodies, it's the only place we have to live.

What can massage do for you?

Since the turn of the last century, we have seen an increase in the use of massage going from something only the rich enjoy to something many people, of all walks of life get use out of.
As a therapist, you see all kinds of people every week.  From  ones who have no real soft tissue problems to the most extreme kind of pain from sleeping in a bad position.  In all these cases, you never tire of hearing how great they feel afterwards.

The trend over the last few years, is to have a therapist on-site to do chair massages as well as having a small room set up for full hour massages.  Thanks to The Intern and timeless ever stunning Rene Russo, there is even more focus on the benefits of having this kind of an addition to any company.  In recent times, the Sacramento 911 emergency dispatch center began to bring in a massage therapist to do chair massages, and help relieve some of the stress from working in this kind of environment.  The results were nothing short of astonishing.  The company turnover rate went down by 40% while at the same time decreasing stress levels, increased productivity, and promoted a more relaxed work place.  With these kinds of results, it's a wonder why not every company has a therapist for their office.
In the world of professional and college sports, a massage therapist is a much needed part of their teams.  Most teams have many therapists for this job.  Teams know how beneficial having a massage is for their players.  They can operate at a much higher performance level when their soft tissue doesn't feel like steel cables.   

In giving the massage, there are many different aspects to consider in order to make your experience the best we can.  We have to think about what is going on with your body right then, what kind of issues are you having, how is your posture, what do you do for a living and how are you feeling right now.  We ask these questions to give us an idea of where your tension is going to be.  The massage begins.  We give our entire energy to you.  We want to give you back your quality of life.  We talk to your shoulders and back, we take the tension out of your feet and hands, we move muscles in your neck and there is nothing better than hearing, that was the best massage I have ever had.

Massage is a proven stress reliever, it decreases inflammation, increases circulation, promotes better sleep and more relaxation in general.  The benefits that a company could reap from this kind of a thing is immeasurable.  Imagine for a moment, you are the CEO of a company where most of the employees spend the majority of their time sitting at a computer and talking on the phone.  If you could help them to be able to be more productive, less stressed and anxious, and have a better attitude in general, wouldn't that be something worth investing in?     

Over the last few months, the buzz around the corporate world is that of one Dan Price, CEO of Gravity Payments, who raised the minimum wage for all employees to 70K a year.  I am a huge fan and supporter of him.  A company and CEO who sees the people who spend their time there, as valuable parts of the bigger picture makes this  a highly sought after company to work for.  In 2009, Google boasted having 35 massage therapists working for at their facility, who are there to make the day better for other employees.  Again, another example of where taking care of the personnel makes this a very competitive place to get into.  Chicago law firm Kovitz Shifrin Nesbit offers a free 20 minute massage once every two months, and employees are able to do more for $20 if they are in need of one before their scheduled time.  There are many companies that have seen an increase in work productivity and a decrease in turnover rates since implementing such benefits.    Not all companies are able to do what Mr. Price has been able to do, however, why not try a different approach to keeping your employees happy?

Raises are always nice to get, and if possible, I tend to think that it's a good incentive to come to work when you feel properly compensated, but, that's not a reality for all companies.  Instead, try adding a massage therapist.  They are trained in chair massages as well as table massages and the benefits can only help with the bottom line of your company.  Stress is a never ending evil that we all go through and will continue to do so as long as we are alive.  There are so many different types of stress.  What we do to our bodies is considered stressful as well.

In my opinion, computers were the worst thing to ever happen to the human body.  We spend countless hours every week sitting in front of our computer either working or playing.  It can be very repetitive and over the years cause problems with our posture, our hands and wrists, and our backs.    But it doesn't have to stay that way.  If you're still not sure if this is right for your company, try it for a day and see what happens.  You just may be surprised.

Extinction of a Species

For the last few days, maybe even a week or so by now, I have seen a lot of people blasting this doctor in Minnesota for shooting a lion.  On the other side of that, I have a lot of religious conservative friends who are saying that this lion means nothing compared to the amount of babies that are aborted every year.  That those lives are much more important than that of a species that is about to become on the endangered species list. 

For those who know me, I am hugely pro choice.  It's my choice and if it makes you angry, then leave me alone.  I don't try to convince you that no man should ever tell you what you should and shouldn't do with your body.  I don't try to post photos all over my Facebook page saying that it's so morally wrong to make an informed decision as an adult.  I don't try to convince you that you and I see things very differently. 

However, in this case, I will have to say something.  Things that bother me about this.  Let's see, to start with, I will talk about the lion first.  I don't see how baiting an animal is very humane.  I don't think that using a bow and arrow for this kind of hunt is fair, when you actually kill it with a gun.  No, you should have to use another arrow or go up to it with a knife and have to kill it that way... Good luck sneaking up on that cat.  He's probably pissed off and hurt and ready to kill you... I think that would be much more fair to do it that way. 

Now, for the abortions... Well, in 1973, the United States Supreme Court ruled in a landmark case, of a vote of 7-2 that it is a woman's right to chose to have an abortion or not.  However, the states have now gotten involved with it and make it as nearly impossible for women to get one, as humanly possible.  These people are also the ones who say that welfare must be stopped and what is wrong with our country that so many people are on welfare, living off the states.  Well, let's look at that one for a few minutes. 

I know that most of these people will get their ideas of life and death and the afterlife from a book.  A book that, for me, has way to many inconsistencies for me to believe it.  Sorry, just the way that goes.  However, that doesn't mean that for the first 20 something years of my life I didn't put my whole faith into it.  This is what I learned... Human life is the only life that matters, forget other kinds of animals.  Killing is in no way justified, unless you're at war with some country and god says it's ok to kill them and take their land, and make them into slaves.  In which case, by all means.... Go for it.  The first part of the book says that the earth is bare of people and we are to go populate it.  Well, at last count, the world's population is hovering around 7.5 billion people.  That's a lot!! Wow, and so many of them live in China and India.  Like, more people than I could count in a lifetime.... or four lifetimes for that matter.  The truth is, there are more people right now, than what our planet can sustain and still manage to protect our earth.  We pollute everything, we think it's our right to know everything that the government does, (no, it's not a right, nor do you really want to know the whole truth) we have created diseases by our eating habits, we have poisoned our foods, and think it's ok to use this as a way to make money (think pharmaceutical companies, insurance companies), and then, we punish those who try to make themselves better by making them look as bad as possible. 

We are the only species on the planet that destroys our environment.  And then, we kill off other species entirely.  IN fact, as humans, we are responsible for the total annihilation of over 1000 different kinds of animals over the last 500 years.  That's the complete devastation of one animal every two years.  If humans were on the endangered species list, I could see where abortion would be a bad thing... however, we are not on that list.  And it's our job to keep the ones that are on that list alive.  As the Dali Lama has said, it's a prime purpose to help others and if we cannot help others, at least don't hurt them. 

Is an unborn child a person?  I won't even debate that, and whether or not it is a valid argument is irrelevant.  But, to hunt a spices to the point of elimination from existence, is totally irreprehensible.

Where I live, we use hunting as means to control the population.  We have to keep it in check or they overpopulate and then starve two years later because there is no food for them to eat, due to over population.  There must be a balance.  I can't say that sport hunting is a bad thing either, as long as you're still using the animal for food and other things... Illegal hunting to me is a chicken shit way of doing things and should be stopped.  Hunting big game animals is not something that I am totally against.  I get it.  There is a thrill to it, though I have never killed anything (other than the occasional spider in my bedroom or a mosquito).  I don't see how hunting a giraffe can be a sport.  I don't see how hunting to have a trophy on the wall is something to aspire to.  But this goes back to not everyone likes everything. 

We live in a place that boasts freedom, and yet, when anyone does something that they want, and they are able to and it's legal, we go on a witch hunt for them because they did something others don't like.  I had protesters outside when I had an abortion... that made me feel like a real winner.  I was doing something that in my heart was the right thing.  I wasn't ready, I didn't want to have kids then, and I wasn't ready to be fully responsible for another person.  I was not ready and I am so glad that I did that.  There are those out there who use abortion as a form of birth control, but, I can't speak for them.  I can speak for those who are responsible women who have made that choice because it was the best decision for them.  I am with you, I know that feeling, and I know it was a hard choice to make.  We have gotten through it, some better than others, but, we are stronger for having gone through it.  Don't let anyone tell you that they know your struggles better than you do and that you had choices... You did, and that's the one you choose.  There should be no shame in it. 

By comparing human life to that of an animal we might as well be saying oranges aren't as good as cucumbers.  Which, in reality have nothing to do with the other.  Stop comparing, stop pushing, stop thinking that you can control people by taking away their rights... I don't understand... I have been around the world, and I still say this... people are all the same.  We all want the same things.  We want to be happy, to be loved, to return another's love, to give our kids things that we never had... But let's keep the animals so they can enjoy them too.  I would hate to have to tell my daughters that, well, I have seen a tiger in a zoo once, but now, they have all been killed and you won't ever see them.  Again.. Ever.. They are totally gone... Sorry Charlie.  I don't want to give that to them. 

Hunting was for food, or in a country such as Kenya, I would think to keep your kids safe at night.  The movie, The Ghost and The Darkness was a prime example of how lions became accustomed to the taste of man and the devastation that it can bring.  These massive lions, who were later to be found to be both males who were mane less, were examples of how we are not at the top of the food chain, in any way.  They were referred to as The Ghost and The Darkness, each their respective names.  I have seen photos of them in the Field Museum in Chicago, and wow, talk about a scary sight to behold, and yet, so amazing.  Animals who can hunt and track and act like a mammal who is somewhat aware, is breathtaking to behold... (I will get back to that whole thing of we are not the only aware beings on the planet at a later time :).

Anyhow, I am sure I am off topic at this point, so I will have to end my rant for the day.  Until tomorrow, or the next time there is injustice, I will be back.. :)

Defining Heroes

As much as I hate to jump on any bandwagon and spoute stupid shit at others, I may have to do that today.  For the past week or so, the person in the media everywhere is the new and improved and happy with themselves, Catilyn Jenner.  Personally, I couldn't care less about this person, or what they are doing.  However, I think that in order for others to see what I am talking about, I have to put this out there. 

From the time I was a little girl, I had three heroes.  One, my dad.  He's just awesome and he's a fun guy and he's someone that I use to compare men to.  If they have a sense of humor, if they are polite, if they are kind to others, that kind of thing.  My next one, Joe Montana.  He was my favorite football player and his actions off the field were more of what makes me like him.  He's not in the tabloids, he's not under investigation ever, he was a team player and gave credit for other people's greatness.  I really liked him.  Last, Harrison Ford.  I still like him.  I still go see his movies, I still love the thought of him being Han Solo one more time.  He was someone who, to me, embodied the Great American Hero kind of idea.  Not everyone will agree with me, most don't know my dad, but he's really cool. 

As a grown woman, I now have more heroes for different reasons and for different kind of things.  The reason they have become my hero is because they have stood up for what they believed in.  Every one of the LESS THAN 1% of American's who have signed a contract giving all over to the government are my heroes.  They have given up what most wouldn't.  They are my friends, they are people whom I love and trust and I know lots of them.  For me, a hero is someone who is inspiring to others.  Someone who gives hope for other people, someone who paves the way for others to come up next.  They may not all be the same, and there are reason why I admire some and not others, but, that's how I define a hero. 

I have seen a lot of my friends say that there is no way that this person can be a hero.  She didn't sign up for the military or give her life or limbs for the betterment of the country, she can't be a hero.  Heroes are only military, or firemen, or policemen, those who put themselves in the way of harm to protect others.  Well, of course these people are heroes, and they all deserve to be treated with respect (so if you think that policemen are pigs and don't deserve respect because they are always harassing you, perhaps you should think about not breaking the law then).  With that being said, Gandhi is a hero who wasn't a military person or policeman or fireman, and I think of Gandhi as a hero. 

A hero can be anyone.  It could me, it could be you.  It could be the guy down the street from you who did something extraordinary in a moment of selfless devotion.  It could be the guy who ran in the touchdown on 4th and goal to have their team take the state title.  It could be the kid at school who stands up to the bully and gets their ass handed to them, but, they did what was right and stood up when no one else did.  Heroes can be skinny or fat or short or tall.  They can have small breasts or no breasts.  They could be someone who was on their way home and stopped to help an old homeless man have a warm fabulous meal.  To say that Ms. Jenner isn't a hero is totally negating what kind of courage it takes to be true. 

Being true to ourselves is one of the hardest things we do.  We want others to like us and see the potential that we have.  Yet we all wear these masks that hide who we truly are from the world.  Only a few of us every take them off long enough to see who we really are.  And the majority of people are afraid of themselves.  What if they aren't nice to others and people don't like them anymore?  What if I think badly of others, does that make me a bad person?  If I have a bad day and scream and shout at people that I love because of my anger, am I bad parent?  What if I have thoughts of doing harm, to myself or others?  Am I a bad person because of it?  No.  The answer to all of these questions is no.  Thinking about others when they anger you doesn't make you a bad person.  Road rage that ends in the death of someone who didn't see you and cut you off makes you a bad person.  Our thoughts alone don't make us one way or the other.  What we do, how we react to our situations is what makes us good or bad. 

The fact remains that, not everyone will view what Bruce Jenner did as heroic.  Not everyone wants to see it either.  But for this person, they have brought to light what only some want to understand.  There is a population of people out there who are transgender who have taken who they are at one point and become who they are now.  It takes a great deal of courage to be able to look at ones self in the mirror and know that, that's not who they are, and they will change what they see in the mirror to match who they are on the inside.  There is a population of people who have taken their own lives, because they couldn't accept who they were, or those they loved couldn't accept them for it. 

So, the next time you are scrolling through your news feed and see something that says that only military are true heroes, consider what a hero is.  Not everyone believes in the same thing, so naturally, not everyone will have the same kind of heroes.  Please stop bashing this person.  I can't imagine what it was like living a lie for that many years.  I can't imagine what life had to be like to go along with what others expected because it's not normal.  I can only hope that eventually, this shit will die down and I won't have to see it at all.  Good For Her!  Welcome to being a girl :)

Or Not

I love it when you most need something, it seems to magically happen...  Though I had thought things were going to go totally opposite of what I was thinking, it now could very well be as we had hoped... I love being vague... I have no idea really, but, hope has been restored as well as my resolve to be optimistic about everything.

Defeated

I am normally a very happy optimistic person.  I try to see things from both sides of an issue, I avoid a lot of confrontation with those that I am close to.  I hate it when people argue and make each other feel like a piece of shit.  I really don't like the feeling of giving up and admitting defeat in any way.  It breaks me down in a way that nothing else does.  This morning, I was told that I have to accept things as they are and be able to be grateful for the way they are right now. 

I cried at this.  Why do I feel that accepting defeat is a bad thing.  Just means that there are other options out there, right?  I can't see those other options right now.  I am blinded by my own tears of disappointment.  I'm mad at myself for letting me get my hopes up in the first place.  But what is our existence without hope?  It's something that we cling to in the darkest times of our life, feeling like we know that if we just hang on a little longer, something great is going to come along.  And we wait and wait and wait for something... anything.  It's funny to me how I feel about hope.  Some days I am very happy and joyful and more hope in life than I can possibly explain.  And then I have days like today.  There is nothing wrong, I slept pretty good, I enjoyed my morning with my love, and got into the car to come to work, and BAM! It was like, everything that I had been thinking would happen just suddenly disappeared and in it's place all I could see was exactly where I was right then.  And that's all that I see. 

I love where I live, it's home for me.  But there is so much more out there that I want to be a part of.  I have the picture of this place that I want to live.  It's a real place and it's lovely and beautiful and amazing, and offers so many more things that I cannot get or do here.  It's where I long to be.  It's where we as a group are hoping to get to.  It's where I want to send Piper to school.  I have seen myself there, working, writing, running, loving life, swimming, being able to be a mom who is home when my little one gets home.  And for as much as I want to be there, I was told that it's probably not going to happen this year.  I feel very let down at this.  I had envisioned myself finishing up with my last class for my Associates Degree in General Studies, and then being able to start school in the fall in this beautiful place.  And now, I just don't know what I see for myself.  I don't see it going the way we had hoped for. 

For me, there is nothing worse than hoping for the best to come, working hard to help it along, and then, it's all dashed away in an instant.  I will get over it I'm sure and then I will find something else to look forward to.  But for this moment, I am a bit sad.  I will drink my coffee, eat my breakfast (left over quesadilla and brownie) and get myself to doing something at work.  I hold out on that slim possibility that despite all the stuff that could hold us back, that this miracle will happen and we will be able to start again, in a new place together.  It will happen, I know this, but, for now, I will have to put on that happy face and just fake it a lot today.  Perhaps I will feel better later on, but, not right this second.  I feel like I'm at that point where I am ok... until someone asks if I am ok, then I may just lose my shit and have a breakdown.  Or not. 

How do you show them you love them?

It's Monday morning... again, it came like it does every week... It's not that I wasn't prepared for it, I just like being in my bed more.  I have released my 7th video today on YouTube, and I must say, I'm pretty excited about it... You should check it out and let me know what you think... Have a great day, may your Monday not be a bad start... Hopefully it's full of awesome amazing wonderful happy surprises that make you smile... Here's the video link for your viewing pleasure. 

Happy viewing :)

Are you valued?

There is much discussion on what it's like to feel undervalued in our lives.  From work to our personal events to our kids to our parents, we all seem to know what it's like to feel like we are worthless.  But what about the opposite side of that?  When was the last time you felt like you were truly valued by the people all around you, not just the ones you hold the closest?

I have had a few jobs, and done different things at each one of them.  I always wondered how my little part in the bigger picture made a difference.  Did I make a difference to anyone there?  Was I valued by my supervisors in any way?  Depending on the job and the time, I have wondered this.  Even now, I have doubts about it.  Where I am at now, I know, for a fact, that I am a big part of what we do here.  I know that what I do makes a difference for the people that I work for (my clients that is) and I know that they (my clients) do value what I do.  But, this isn't always the case, for me and for many others out there. 

When I was 16, I got a job at the local grocery store bringing in carts and sweeping the floors and taking out the track and bagging groceries.  Not the most glamorous job I have ever had, but, it was a starting point.  I worked endlessly for minimum pay (at that time it was $5.25 an hour.... 20 years ago) for people who saw what I did as the lowest man on the totum pole position.  I closed more nights than I should have and I worked for hours in the summer time outside pushing carts.  I never really heard thank you from the management team.  I mean yes, they would say thank you for doing such a great job scrubbing out the drains in the back room, but, I didn't feel like what I did made a difference.  I got to be a cashier the longer that I worked there and that was cooler.  Got a raise, yay, and at the end of the day I still felt overworked and undervalued.  When I finally quit when I was 19, I moves to the big city to work at a school as financial aid clerk.  Wow, talk about a different work environment!! I made a huge difference and what I did was important to the running of the school. I mean, I was a kid, and I had this amazing job and I felt important (mostly) and what I did was important.  It was awesome!!

I didn't last long there, about 6 months and then I was fired.  Yes, I was fired from a job.  So fast forward about a year after that.  I was now 21, and in the US Navy.  9/11 had just happened and I was going to the USS John F. Kennedy for the service.  My job was to wipe oil off of an engine, sweep and clean the spaces we were in charge of, clean salt water corrosion off of gauge lines, do preventive maintainence on different things, and stand a watch (which consisted of taking reading on gauges of fire pumps in all the pump rooms, 5 of them, and take readings on the air pressure for the air start system on the Emergency Diesel Generators or EDG's) for 4 hours a day, 1 reading on all of these every hour, everyday.  We were also in charge of doing a boat report every single day, in port or underway.  I failed to see in any way, how what I was doing was making a difference.  It was during a time of war, and we did our jobs and because of where I worked in the ship, I just couldn't see it.  Even now, I understand why I was there to do that job, but, I fail to see how it helped the mission. 

When I got transferred to the West Coast, I became the RPPO for our division (Repair Parts Petty Officer) which meant I got to order parts  and write jobs for anything that broke in our division.  I was the only female in the division for a while, so naturally, I got (what I call) the bitch work.  In the two years that I served on board the USS Boxer, I ordered the wrong part twice.  And the reason I still remember this, is because it was such a huge deal that I had messed up and had done something wrong.  Not only were the guys surprised that I had screwed up, but so were my male  supervisors.  Only one of those times did I really get into trouble for it.  As the RPPO, I had to just through hoops to get parts, I had to go to other ships for relief valves, I had to get things from the shore parts places.  Not only did I have to go get the parts, I had to locate them, write job orders for them, make sure that it was approved and then, I had to get it to the correct shop in a timely manner.  One day, the ship was waiting for me to get back so we could get underway.  That should give you an idea of how important this job was and how incredibly important it was that I did this job well. 

I remember very specifically when I had stayed until long after everyone was already home, coming back from going to a different ship to get a relief valve, my Senior Chief said thank you and good job.  I can't tell you how much that meant to me.  It was the most rewarding compliment I had been paid in so long.  And it was all I needed to hear to keep going for another year before I was paid another compliment.  In the military, you are given an evaluation every year.  This is where what I did would be noticed.  I got the highest eval  marks I had ever received as well as an EP (Early Promote).  The system only goes to a 5.0.  A 3.0 is average.  It means you're doing your job well and that you're on your way to making rank.  That year, I got a 4.56.  I cannot tell you how excited I was.  I was also ranked out of the E-5's in our department as number 5.  Which means, out of all of the E-5's in our department, only 4 outdid me in job performance.  There was over a 50 of us, so being 5th was a great thing for me.  I couldn't have been more proud.  I knew I was valued and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was important to the mission at hand.  I was shit-hot!! It was a great feeling to feel like I mattered to the place I worked.  I was on my way to making rank even faster when I made a stupid call, because at 25 you're still making stupid calls, and it all went away. 

Devastation is what I felt.  Heartbroken at what I had lost, in fact, it hurt so much, that for the first 4 years, YEARS, afterwards, I couldn't talk about it without breaking down and sobbing.  It was the worst blow of my professional career that I had ever had.  The first two jobs I had after that, I didn't feel like I mattered at all to anyone where I worked.  I was as dispensable as anyone could be.  The next job, when we had moved to Louisiana, after I had small fry, I wouldn't go so far as to say that I did made a difference, but, to the ones that I worked with, I felt a connection to them.  In fact, when faced with even more adversity than I had ever expected, I was able to rely on them more than I thought I would need them, and now, 7 years after I left Sulphur, I still love them and I know that they had made a huge impact on my life. 

When I got home, I took a job at Lowe's.  It was still being built, and we worked long hard hours everyday getting that store ready.  It was so much fun.  At first, I was just a cashier.  Within a month I was working in the Admin office.  This is where we would prepare the deposit for the store, balance the store, and prepare the money for the next day.  I loved what I did.  Not only did I love what I was doing, but, I know that what I did made a difference.  It was a great job!  My supervisors were so easy for me to get along with (except the store manager who hated that he told me to get rid of my music and I didn't, because I was not going to spend all day in that room with nothing to listen to.  Not even the buzz or hum of the computer) and I couldn't have asked for a better group of people to be around.  I loved it so much.  I feel like I grew up while I was there too.  I was going through a divorce at the time, and I spent a lot of time crying in my office alone.  I started dating a guy I worked with and when that didn't work out either, I was once again, left crying in my office a lot.  I was there two and half years before I decided to go back to school.

Once in school, I knew I didn't want to be at work anymore.  I loved all that I was learning and loved that what I was learning, was changing my whole life for the better.  It was that life changing event that makes your eyes open and you feel like you know what's going on for the first time in your life.  It was amazing.  I started to hate being at work, not because I didn't like working, but, because I wanted to learn more.  When I decided to quit and do a work study program, all of my work colleagues were surprised as well as shocked.  I mean, who leaves the perfect job to go to school for less money and less hours?!

Miss Charlotte was the most awesome lady I have ever worked for and I am so glad that I got to know her.  In life you don't get to choose who your family is, but, I will forever consider her to be my family, that's how much she made me feel like I was worth it.  I wouldn't be where I am without her, that's for sure.  On my last day, Miss Charlotte brought my a beautiful arrangement of fall flowers and made me feel like I was really going to be missed.  I couldn't have asked for a better send off.  It was amazing and I cried knowing that I was leaving someone that I loved. 

Well, the work study program didn't work quite as well as I had hoped for.  It did allow me to learn so much and my teacher was always saying thank you for your work and I loved it.  It was well worth the time that I spend there.  But, when it came down to it, I needed to get paid and it wasn't happening like I had needed it to.  So, I went back to Lowe's.  I was to work up front at the Customer Service Desk and I did like that... I'm not going to lie, it was fun.  I worked part time, took shifts when I could, got to work almost as much as I did when I was full time.  Just had to do it on the weekends now too.  I know that the people that I worked for liked having me there, I was a good part of the team, and I enjoyed it.  Up to a point that is. 

Once out of school, I took a Head Cashier position, and then, the position that I really wanted came up.  It was for receiving clerk.  I so wanted this job! But, I didn't get it.  Instead I took a different position of LTL Stocker.  This was, by far, the most thankless, hardest, physically demanding job I had had since being on the Kennedy.  I worked so hard at it!  I was there doing that for just about exactly a year.  And within that year, I had worked so hard in a position that was so unappreciated and made to feel like I was so worthless that when the opportunity came up to work full time as a Massage Therapist, I took it.  Instantly, I took it.  I was heartbroken when I left.  My boss didn't speak to me from the time I turned in my notice until after I left.  No one said a word to me when I left that last day, and I cried a lot over this.  It was heartbreaking not only because I felt like a piece of shit most days after leaving work, but, because I was leaving, my family that I had been with from a very hard time in my life to that time (I had my family that I lived with, but these people had seem me at my worst and my best and they were, in essence, my family). 

There have been good days and bad days working as an LMT.  I know what I do makes a difference, yet, hearing it more than once a year is really nice.  I love love love my clients.  They are the reason that I keep coming to work.  I feel like I do something to help others and that makes my life so much more fulfilling.  I don't always agree with everyone here, but, I know that my clients depend on me, and I don't want to let them down.  They are, after all, the reason I have a job.  I am so grateful for the people that I have met and the lives that I feel apart of now.  My clients value me... that's a fantastic feeling.  However, and I say this with as much kindness as I can, I am not paid what I am worth, by a long shot.  In the last few weeks, we have been undergoing a lot of changes in our office, and in the long run, it's going to make this place even better, but, with changes comes a lot of stress.  I can say that we are all under a great deal of stress and I have no clue when it's going to even out.  I am hoping within another month or so.  And at that time, I suspect that my boss and I will talk about a lot of things. 

After all of my experience with working and life, it seems strange that so many fail to see that a simple thank you for your hard work will take them so far.  It's the one thing that makes you feel like you have value and are appreciated.  So, for all of you who have employees, kids, friends, make sure you tell them that what they do is important and that you value the work that they put in.  Do it often, you will be surprised that amount of respect they give when you show them a little appreciation and kindness.  Words are like gunshots.  Once they are out, there is no taking it back.  Wounds heal after time, but that scar will remain.  Take care of the people who work for you, and they will take care of you.  Show them you care, pay them well for what they do.  And most importantly, realize that how you treat others is a direct reflection of how you treat yourself.  By not valuing the people you're around everyday, they will leave and yes, you will have to find someone else to work, but, they are people too, and they have feelings.  And they hurt just as much as you do when someone steps all over your feelings.  As an adult, I try to not let it show, but, the heart is mysterious thing, and you would be surprised by the scars that it can carry.  Take care of others,  they are trying to make it in life, just like you. 

What do you deserve?

Deserve.  That's a fun word isn't it.  Lends the feeling of entitlement.  Like, because I was born, I should have what ever it is that I am wanting.  Or when told you don't deserve something.  Well, who decides what I deserve or don't deserve.  I think I deserve a 1969 black Camaro SS with racing stripes because I would look so awesome in it.  And I love it.  And I want it.  But, do I deserve it? 

Yesterday, I read an article on raising the minimum wage to $15.00 an hour.  The person who wrote it said that flipping burgers and working in the fast food industry as a cashier, does not make you deserving to make that much money.  I have a problem with this.  But, let me continue with what he said.  The article went on to say that for many teens, this is their first job and they don't deserve to make that much money in a year.  And how many professionals with jobs that required training and schooling are able to make that much, and after how many years?  A job that is in the fast food business shouldn't be a life time job and you don't deserve to make that much.  Ever.  Assuming you work 40 hours a week, of course.  A job in the fast food industry should only be for a short time, therefore it's a stepping stone and shouldn't be used to be forever.  So, if it's only a stepping stone, one shouldn't be allowed to make that much money. 

Now, first of all, I have a huge problem with anyone telling me that I don't deserve something.  It leads me to think that I'm not good enough to be able to have what ever it is.  I did some research on the national minimum wage.  Did you know that if we had a wage that kept with the inflation of the dollar as well as the increase of cost of living, the national minimum wage would be just over $21.00 an hour.  Wow, that's a lot! It also made me wonder, why is it, companies are so unwilling to give their employees the salary that they deserve?  I mean, not everyone who works flipping burgers works 40 hours a week.  And just to be sure that you understand this, in the state of Arizona, even if you worked 40 hours a week, for the minimum wage, for all four quarters of the year, if you were fired, you wouldn't be able to collect unemployment because you haven't contributed enough to it.  Wow, working full time, for less than eight dollars an hour and you still don't make enough.  Now, let's say that for sake of argument, you made a salary of $10.00 an hour.  And the company you work for only works you for 30 hours a week.  Well, that amounts to $300 a week, before taxes.  So for two weeks of work, you end up taking home just over $400.  In an average sized two bedroom apartment that's in a nice part of town with good schools, rent is on average, $650-$850 a month.  And let's face it, if you're working, you earn too much money to be eligible for welfare, so you are making about $800 or so a month.  And barely able to make ends meet.  Of course you could get another job that will work you another 30 or so hours a week at the same rate of pay and then, sure you would be making more than enough to support yourself.  But, what time do you have to spend with the people you're trying to support?  What about helping your kids with their homework, is there time for that?  Or are you paying a babysitter to watch your kids so you can pay to live. 

This example is all to familiar for me.  I live in a small town where there are a lot of families struggling to make it.  They work two jobs, they are doing everything they can, and yet, there isn't enough to pay for the food they eat.  There are a lot of places that pay only minimum wage, and to say that flipping burgers is the only job that pays the minimum wage, is just plain silly.  There are plenty of places that pay that, because that is what they can afford.  And I see that there are a lot of mom and pop places that can't pay $15.00 and hour.  But, on the other side of it, there are plenty of places that can afford to, and choose to pay them only a minimum to make a bigger profit.  This is something that is outrageous to me.  I am a small business owner, and I bust my ass on a daily basis, as a licensed, trained, must maintain my insurance and license to keep working and make a small salary. 

So, I ask you, when you tell someone who is a teenager in their first job that they don't deserve to make that much money, what are basing your opinion on?  Do you deserve to make more than that because you put in time and energy to a different job?  Who is to say what someone deserves?  I deserve to not have to ask the government for help to put food on our table.  I deserve to be able to afford affordable healthcare.  I deserve to be paid well for the service I provide.  If you're not working, you're not helping, but if you are working, what do you deserve?  Do you think that you deserve to put food on the table and be able to afford a place to live with electricity?  Do you deserve to have a vehicle that runs and has fuel in it to get you to your job?  Or do you deserve a bike because you only flip burgers or are a cashier somewhere?  Points to ponder for the morning...

I think that those who make $15.00 an hour are doing well for now.  But, they had to work to get there, and yes, things take time.  But, to pay your people a decent wage, to be able to afford to live in their community, perhaps we shouldn't be saying that fast food workers don't deserve to make that much.  Perhaps we should be saying that everyone deserves to be able to put food on their tables.  We live in one of the richest countries in the world, and yet, there are more houses for sale then there are homeless people.  There are more homeless vets then there ever should be.  We as a country should stop saying that someone doesn't deserve something and we need to look at the way we as a nation treat these people who are trying to get out of poverty.  It's not easy living so far below the poverty line that you go without.  And really, it shouldn't happen.  But, it does and it will continue to happen because we live in a world of greed.  I am greedy, you're greedy, we all have some kind of greed going on with us.  We are entitled to  so many things.. or so we think.  I can't change others opinions of things, and that's ok, I'm not trying to get you to always change your mind, I just want you to be open to the possibility that maybe we are looking at this in the wrong way.  Maybe we should try stepping back and seeing the bigger picture.  Not everyone who is asking for a raise works in fast food, and not everyone gets to work full time.  How much time should I have to put in to any job to be able to afford a place to live, food to eat, power in the house, a mode of transportation, and affordable healthcare?  How much time do I have give up with the ones that I am trying to support to be able to give them the basic necessities of life?  How can I give them the most important ones when I am constantly working to provide food?  I don't deserve to have to give up all of one, to be able to give them the other. 

But, that's just my opinion on it...


Post Script: Afternoon, 4/20/15:  As a point of reference on this topic, this morning, after publishing this thought, I was told that I don't deserve to be paid fairly for the job I do because of what might happen 4 months for now, so why change it?  Seems like everyone is a bit skwed on this topic.  What do you deserve?  I know that I deserve a lot, and I deserve a lot more, but, I have also worked my ass off for it! And now, I am going to be grateful for a job that I have, clients that I love and friends who are amazing... I am grateful for those things.. That's for sure. 

Petition

In our country, we have the great belief that if enough people pull together, we can change things.  I tend to believe that it's true.  We can do great things if we unify and see the outcome for all, instead of thinking only of ourselves. 

I have been able to serve in our military, the Navy specifically.  I have seen the world three times over (it's covered in water) and I love the fact that so many people love our country.  And it's strange to me that so many of the people who are in charge of our country, our elected officials and appointed officials have a vested interest in another country. 

You see, these people are dual citizens.  They can go to their other home country and vote in elections and raise a family there if they chose.  But, they are here, in the United States, making decisions for the people of our country.  Hmmmmm....

Now, I have no problems with those who are dual citizens.  I have a close friend who has dual citizenship.  However, she is not in a public office that requires an election nor has she been appointed to an office.  This is something near and dear to me.  I feel that we the people should stand up for this.  There is no reason to ever have an elected official who has dual citizenship.  Their loyalty would come into question on foreign policies in every single situation.  I think it's important that we stand together and say no more to this. 

Help me out... Sign this for me, tell the White House that our government needs to only be loyal to one country.  Our country, the United States is the one country they should be loyal to.  To sign the petition already in progress, click here.

With the world as it is right now, I have a hard time with current events.  They leave me feeling like I want to vomit most of the time.  There are so many horrible things going on every day in so many different countries, that, it boggles the mind.  For now though, we should really stop and take a good look at ourselves and see what kind of changes can we make in our own homes, our towns, our states and specifically, our governments, state and federal.  I am not saying that you should not be able to hold an office if you have been a Naturalized citizen, or if you are seeking citizenship.  What I would love to see is that for our government, we shouldn't have dual citizens.  Too many lives at stake when those in charge are trying to make deals with other countries and they are trying to do what's best for both countries, instead of saying, what is best for the American people.  Sign this... It's a good thing.  Let's stand together on this one.  Click Here for the information and site.

Behold the power of positvie thinking

For the last month or two, I have been making a video series on Becoming a Better You... I loved this title  because who couldn't use some improvement really.  I just wanted to share the latest in the series, which is part 6, talking about the power of what positive thinking can do and why it's important to downsize the amount of negative energy that you are exposed to.  Here is the link... hope you all get to see and subscribe to it, and really, tell me what you think... Have a super day all...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zP9qbTkUWOc

Happy viewing kids :)

The state of Indiana

Already, I have been talking about what's going on with this state for the whole of the week.  It's only Wednesday and yet, this has been the topic of conversation for a while now.  I know that I was horrified to hear that this law was signed.  I was tempted to talk to my sister about it this weekend while visiting, but, decided against it for various reasons. 

Here is what I think of this.  Wow! Such anger and such deliberate intolerance of others makes for a whole lot of angry people.  I hate to say this, but, in a way, I was glad he was arrogant enough to do it.  I think it's the only way that it's been able to show that we are a country will NOT stand for such actions.  I am so glad that so many companies have pulled out of that state and that people are boycotting Indiana indefinably.  What makes me sad is seeing that they may amend the law because they are losing business left and right and without that economy, it's going to kill the state.  Now, it's all about how do we get back the money that we are losing instead of seeing it for what it really is.  Legal discrimination and bigotry.  What a horrible stain of their faces. 

Words cannot express the amount of outrage that I feel about what is going on.  Now in the news, I am seeing a pizza place that has said they will refuse catering services to any LGBT weddings but they won't have a problem with them coming in for a slice or two.  Not only that, what really made me more angry than anything was this company started a gofundme account and over the course of a week, ONE WEEK, have raised almost a million dollars from supporters... ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  How incredibly ass backwards are we now? 

There was one bit of writing that I found somewhat comforting.  A man, a Christian, a pastor, had written something that made total sense.  He said that serving people at your place of business does NOT impinge upon your religious freedoms.  It's a matter of being an American and being a good person.  Now one can reserve the right to refuse service for various reasons.   Mine are if your drunk or sick.  That's the only time I cannot work on you.  But to say that making a cake for someone is hurting your religious freedoms is about as bad as and horrific as saying black people carry different diseases.  I am so tired of hearing how ones choices are hurting your freedoms. 

In our country, we have so much freedom.  We can choose any religion to practice at any time, and if we change our minds, there are no penalties for it.  We can go to college and choose any job that we want to.  We can move to any state for any reason what so ever.  We have no fears about worshiping in any manner, and yet, to say that Christians are being persecuted because they don't think they should have to serve LGBT people is the most insulting thing we can possibly say.  You're not being persecuted in any way.  You are being told to make that cake, or arrange flowers for people. 

Now, I have traveled all around the world, three times in fact, and I have found that while we may look different than each other, and we have different languages, but we are all people.  We are all here together, trying to make it in this lifetime.  We all want the same thing.  We want to love and feel love in return, we want to be secure in our lives and jobs, we want to give our kids more than what we had, and we want to be happy.  This goes across all kinds of people, everyone single living human soul on this planet.  Sure you may not want to have that kind of lifestyle but, you don't have to.  That's the beauty of our world... It's full of choices.  No one is asking you to do anything that would take away your choice of your lifestyle.  And making cakes and arranging flowers for two people who are in love is not taking away anything from you.  In fact, I would think that the more business that people got the better. 

I am shocked and appalled that anyone would support hate and spread anger throughout the land, making anyone's life harder than it should ever have to be.  Life is hard as it is.  Finding someone who shares your beliefs and looks into your eyes and sees you, the real you, is not an easy thing.  It takes most years of trial and error to find someone whom they feel safe with and loved.  It's a beautiful thing and love in all forms should be praised, not torn down by ignorant cruel people who preach from a book that they pick and choose which things they spew.  What about love?  Now, I have not been a practicing Christian for some years now, in fact, I have found for myself that it's not what I choose to go with.  However, after being raised in a church setting for the first 18 years of my life, I do recall a lot about that book.  My favorite was always the part about love.  Love knows no bounds, and something that I try to teach Piper is that love is the most powerful force on earth.  Love doesn't know what colour your skin is, or what gender you were born as.  Love is not jealous, or boastful, or mean and cruel.  Love is beautiful and wonderful and is right for everyone.  Love isn't rude or angry, it's kind and to feel it, to really feel love, is like being wrapped up in a warm blanket on a cold day.  It fills your soul and makes you know that anything is possible.  Love never ends.  Why does our compassion end when dealing with people who are different than we are? 

I will continue to fight for my friends who deserve to be treated fairly and enjoy everything in our country that any straight person gets to enjoy.  I will do anything I can to help,  because that's just the way that I am.  It's not right to hurt because you're ignorant, it's just a black on your soul and I hope that someday, if you fall into the category of persons who think that this kind of discrimination is ok, that one day, you will see that, that kind of thinking only hurts people.  Gay marriage is not gay marriage, it's just marriage.  It's just two people who love each other and want to spend their live together.  Please understand, they are not negating your marriage in any way.  It doesn't lessen your commitment any by allowing them to have the same rights you have....

~End rant~  For now...

The changes in ourselves

The last few weeks, I have been doing a video series on YouTube about becoming a better you.  I have this all lined out in my head and aside from saying um too much, I am thinking they are not as bad as I think.  I'm actually pretty pleased with them.  And what makes me laugh is that when I do them, I am not in the best of moods. 

I am a firm believer in, in order to change the world, we must change ourselves first.  We have to be the change that we want to see in the world.  To do that, we have to become better versions of ourselves. 

The question then becomes how do I become the best me possible.  As much as we overthink this kind of thing, it's really not as hard or as bad as one would think.  I love how much I know that I have the power to change the way my life is.  I have the power to become the best me.  I am the one who is making the choices and I am the one who can make better ones. 

So how do you become a better person?  For me, it's taken a lot of time and energy, reading, learning and experiencing all facets of life.  I have read many books on it, and I have put into practice those ideas expressed in such books.  I am a big fan of Linda West, Doreen Virtue, and Louise Hay.  I have studied Bob Proctor, Joe Vitale and Matthew Dixon's books.  I love what they have to say about us as humans and how we really do create our life with out thoughts.

I have started to put out a video series on YouTube on Becoming a Better You.  In the first video, I talked about how, often times in life, if we are dissatisfied with our current situation, we have the power to change it by, cleaning it out.  Just as you would clean out your closet if you wanted to get new clothes, you have to be willing to part with items that are something of a comforting nature in order to make room for things that are bigger better brighter.  The second video I talked about learning to love the person that you are right now.  Not six months from now when you loose so much weight or become a great well know author.  No, loving yourself right now.  This very moment and accepting the way that you are right now.  Know that if you don't life what you see, then you have two choices.  Make a change or accept it and move onto something else.  In the third video I talked about finding your passion and yourself.  Whatever it is that you have passion for, get out and do it.  Stop wishing that you could (fill in the blank here)...... and get up and do it.  Time waits for no one and there are a few things that you won't ever get back, time is one of them.  Spend it doing something that makes you feel alive.  It's what you wake up thinking about wanting to do.  (For the sake of the internet, I did say that it should be in reason and legal). In today's video, I wanted to tell you a little bit about me.  What I like, where I'm at, what I do.  I have started to do a fun fact so you get to know little quirks about me as well. 

I have to admit, I am really enjoying doing these videos.  I tend to hate the way that I look in them, so as soon as I am done, I delete the video from my phone so I don't set and criticize everything about it, like, I tend to stare into space and say um too much and things like that.  I hope that you all like it, it's a really cool thing for me... Until next time, have a great day. Peace...

Saturday

It's Saturday this fine day here in Arizona. Not much going on, have to finish my project and then maybe get a massage. I am finding that doing this video series is a bit scary for me. I get nervous right before doing them, only do it one take, and then completely delete the video after I'm done so I don't have to watch it and think anything is bad. This is a project for me and so I am. Trying to enjoy it and help others in the process. Next week will be a little bit about myself and I am thinking that will be fun.

Nothing else really going on. I have so much to say and don't know where to start. So for now, I will just say, have a great day all!  

The magic of the tax refund....

I am somewhat of a strange one.  I don't mind filing my taxes every year.  I don't have any assets or property or anything of immense value to the government.  I am self employed and yet, I look forward to getting that refund every year.  In fact, I am usually most excited to find out that I don't owe the government any money. 

But what to do with that chunk of change?  Every year, I wish for the same thing.  To take a vacation to the beach and relax.  Not have to do anything, not really go see sights of anything like that, but, to just not have a care in the world for a few days.  It still hasn't happened.  I often wonder if it ever will.  There are things that must get done, like, I have to get my contacts for the next year.  And this year, I have to renew my license and get my continuing education credits to do so.  I have things every year that must get done, like, our AAA membership and my massage insurance.  So those are the have to's, but, what about the rest of it? 

For us, it's about savings as much as we can.  There are things that I would love to do, but, it's just not going to happen right now.  And I know that we are working towards a goal.  And I know that we will get there, but, it feels like it's light years away.  I could use a break from that.  Thomas could use a break from that.  I'm sure Piper could use a break from it as well.  I dream a lot.  I always dream of not having to worry about money.  And while, I know that things are always working out for us, there are moments that I can't shake that feeling of I want so much more.  With all of our hopes and dreams and ideas and wants, I feel like it's all so very possible.  But how?  I don't pretend to know everything and I don't wish upon stars anymore, but, I could use some hope every once in a while. 

I have hope that one day, before I turned another year older, I will have my bestseller out and people will read it and love it and buy it for their friends and family.  I know it sounds optimistic but, I know that it's going to be big... I just have to get the lead out and get it done.  Yet, I lack the drive and desire to do so.  I have no inspiration, and no idea when it will come again.  I hate that feeling. 

I see on the internet all the time that there was a person who just started to do a blog or a video channel or write a book and they have instant fame and fortune.  I look at them with envy.  I admit it.  I want that too.  But, I feel like when I try the same things, it's a dead end.  I write for myself because I'm pretty well convinced that that's the only one who reads it.  I plan on doing a video series, the next one to come this week and I know, and this kills me, unless I advertise it on Facebook, none of my friends watch them.  Thomas never reads what I say, he never watches my videos and honestly, his opinion is the only one that matters to me.  As long as he's got my back, I know I can do anything. 

I feel like this is a pity party for myself.  So, with that, I will finish today's writing, and ponder what to do with extra money... maybe, I will buy a lottery ticket and win the jackpot.  What would I worry about then, if I didn't have to think about money?  I don't know, but, I would love the opportunity to find out. Happy Thursday all... Tomorrow is Friday, a new day, a new chance at greatness, a new breath of life...

Why do we watch it?

Yesterday, I went to the theater with my friend to go see 50 Shades of Grey.  She had no expectations of the movie and I was curious to see why other friends were raving about it.  I have not read the books, and maybe I will, maybe I won't. 

We get there, to the 11.00 am showing of it and the theater has maybe four other couples in there... I like to watch movies early, especially this kind.  Beat the rush kind of thing.  We sit down with our popcorn and red vines and water.  Watched 20 minutes of the movie house channel... I wish I had USA so I could watch the new show Dig, and then the previews start.  There were the funny ones that I found myself wanting to buy a ticket for already, though, right now, I couldn't tell you anything about it, just that it looked fun. 

The movie starts and I am taken in by it within the first few minutes... I have been really wanting to see what the hype was about, so, I am just waiting and wanting to like this movie from the get go.  It's a fun thing, I enjoyed it.  And then, the sex part came.  And I was not taken back by it, but, I was surprised how well done and intense it was for a scene.  The whole time, I am thinking wow, I'm sitting next to my best friend whom I would never watch something like this with, under normal circumstances.  And then there was more sex and more of other things which I won't ruin for you if you haven't already seen it.  The scenes, though well done, made me really uncomfortable to watch with Nessa next to me.  I am not here to talk about the whole act of what he did to her.  That part was completely consensual and nothing that happened was anything she didn't ask for.  With that in mind, what am I talking about today?  Well, here it is...

Why do we as a society think nothing of watching a movie that contains graphic violence, or play games that shows graphic violence and think nothing of it, and yet, when there is a movie that involves sex or hell any kind of affection, we shy away from it?  Take the last movie in the Twilight series.  The battle scene where it shows, in very clear detail, even more so with High Definition, people being slaughtered, blood spilt everywhere, throats being ripped out, people torn to shreds, so much violence holy shit is all I can say about it.  But, suggest that anyone has sex, it's considered taboo.  50 Shades didn't leave much to the imagination, but, there were no penis's and you pretty much see her boobies a lot.  Whatever, it's all good.

All I am saying here is for an act as natural as sex, why do we think it's so bad?  Let's face it, if you have made it to adulthood, you have probably had some sort of desire that can be considered sexual in nature.  And let's face it, at this very moment in time, out of 7 billion + people in the world, right now, how many are engaged in some sort of physically intimate act?  I would venture to say, a whole lot of them.  It's completely natural.  Everything about it, and not only that, it makes you feel good.  Your completion improves, your mood is elevated, you smile.  It's the best feeling there is.  To feel that intimate embrace of your partner.  However, killing people is not natural.  It's a fact of life, but it's not a natural thing.  And we sit in front of our televisions and computers and tablets and phones and watch death all the time.  Does it phase us to see the life fade out of someone's eyes, nope.  Not at all.  But two people kissing on screen and imply sex, that's not something we want our kids to watch. 

I have to say, that sometimes, it can get loud in my room.  I have had to tell Piper that it's Olympics and my bed squeaks and that is what it is.  I am scared to death to tell her about sex, it's not something I want her to concern herself with, but, I seem to not have any problems with her watching things about death.  I am just as guilty as the next person, but, I am not going to be that person anymore.  I will not be afraid to talk to her about something like that.  I will shy away from the horrors of the world, but, sex is not one of them. 

 And wow, people are up in arms about this movie.  Stating it's the manner in which he seduces her.  Why, it's not like BDSM is something that is new.  I would say in some form it's been around as long as sex has been around.  Which, has been forever.  Those who have never tried anything like that, are comfortable in saying that it's gross or it's dirty or it's disgusting.  Those who have either tried it, or live by it, know that it's got nothing to do with sex.  It's about trust and control. 

I have known many who have been into this lifestyle and it's not anything bad or gross, but to someone who has never seen or heard of it or read about it, then, I would say a word of caution.  Keep in mind that this a movie based on a fictional book of make-believe characters  who are larger than life.  I have yet to ever met anyone with a room like that, though, everyone I know, wishes they had one, or at least, has thought about an ideal play room.  I hope that you will see this and realize that in a book that is fiction, it's not meant to be taken as a real thing.  This is someone's fantasy land and that's all.  Does watching it make you friskies?  I would say yes.  Does everyone want to run out and buy a flogger?  Not likely.  Does it peak your curiosity as to what this really is like?  For some, yes.  For others, I am sure that they are turned off totally by it, but that's ok.  They make lots of movies every year for everyone to either like or not.  It's all a matter of personal preference. 

If you want to go see it, then, take yourself out and go.  If you don't want to see it, then don't go.  I for one would much rather watch two people go at it, then two people tear each other apart... but that's just my opinion for today.  I will be staying away from violence for a while, I can't understand the need for it so much these days.  But I will be watching love... Good, fun, dirty, sloppy, wet love.  Love really does make the world go around... Later...

Hail the conquering Hero

There are times in life when one must buck up and just do it. For me, I have finally done something the scares me a whole lot. I have put a video of myself online. I found in watching friends do this that I thought it was going to be easy. I set up my tripod, I was sitting in the bug and sat there watching myself in the reverse camera thinking ok. I can do this. And it was much more nerve racking than I had originally thought it would be. One of my friends did one for her Facebook page and ended up doing 38 takes for it. 38!!! Holy shit that seemed like so many to me and yet, there I was, nervous as can be about doing a video.

I did manage to do it, and I was pretty pleased about it. I decided to go with a video series on becoming a better you. It's going to be awesome.  I'm nervous about it though. What if I sound dorky what if I look like a goober and mostly, I wonder what if people don't like it. I have to admit, I would take it personally. But I also know that to take it personally means that I have to really care what others think. And I have a confession to make. I do care. I care more than I will admit to. I want people to like me an I want people to have nice things to say about it.

Anyway, it's out there now and it's pretty cool. I am looking forward to next weeks video as well. So stay tuned, subscribe to my channel, see what awesome neat things you will learn.  The link to it is here so check it out... It's going to be big :)

Night all 😎

New goals and re-invention

I have been thinking the last few days about what do I want to accomplish for the next 5 years of my life... Not only what do I want to do, but, how am I going to get there as well.  I have found that there are some things that I want to do, though I am not sure how it is possible.  And there are some things that I only have less than awesome feelings about but I know I can do it if I set myself up to do it right. 

To start with, my friend Ferris told me when I got out of the Navy that I had the power to reinvent myself at that point and be whatever I wanted to be.  At the time I could only see myself as a sailor and that was it.  I had no idea that I hold the key to my own destiny.  It started slow, and gradually, I got to feel like a whole new person.  This took a long time, and I had to go through a lot of heartache to get there.  But to sum it up in the cliff notes version, I started simply.  I dyed my hair.  I had done blonde for long that I was just looking like I was trying to hard.  So, while visiting my friend Naomi in Mayport for Christmas, she dyed my hair black.  It was truly a switch and took a long time to get used to.  Then I started to do little things that I wanted to do.  I pierced things and some were totally new.  I got new tattoos where I could see them, thanks to the courage I got from Sonya, who had done an entire sleeve and it looked beautiful.  I started to see myself the way that I wanted to be.  I decided to go back to school and become some things great.  At the end of the whole adventure, I realized it had taken me about 3 to 4 years to get there, a lot of pain from breakups but, I was the person that I wanted to be now.  So, I set off to do a whole lot of things.  I was able to get some of it done, but there are parts that I have yet to complete. 

As it stands, here is my new goals for the next 5 years.

6 Months
-Thai Massage Certified
-Two vehicles for the family, one being able to travel a bit in

1 Year
-Saved half of the money needed to move to the coast
-Work for myself totally

3 Years
-Moved to the Pacific Northwest
-Yoga Instructor

5 Years
-Own House with lap pool
-Be AWESOME DAILY

That's not a lot of goals, but once I see them there, I know that they aren't so hard that I can't do them.  I know that it will take discipline and time and energy, but then again, anything worth doing, is worth doing right, so that's why there is the time frames the way they are. 

As a part of this, I have decided to really put myself out there for the world to see.  So, I will be adding something that to me is a scary thing.  I will be putting out a video series on YouTube starting next week.  The first series will be Becoming a Better You.  I am not sure how many videos it will have, but, I am thinking at least 5 - 10.  I will be putting one out a week and while this is really a big deal for me, I am hoping that by doing so, I will be able to help others see their worth and re0invent themselves too.  The idea of re-inventing oneself is not new, people change all the time, but this is my way of helping others to do it in a way that clears out the bad shit in their lives, which could include shit-heads as well, and make them into a better version of the old them.  So, stay tuned for that.  It's going to be big :) 

Anyhow, hope you all have a great weekend, and so for now, I am off for the weekend... Until Monday, be bad :) Look for the new video, I will let you all know when it will be up.  Hooray for new and exciting things!!!

5 Year Goals

Nearly 5 years ago, I was in massage school and we had to put out our 5 year goals... Let me review mine for you... Let's see, it's starts out:

6 month goals...
Finish School and get my massage License.. Check
Sky Dive over the Pacific Ocean.. Not check
To Quit Lowes... Check

1 Year Goal
Finish my Thai Massage Cert...Not Check
Piper in Pre-school...Check at third grade now
Increased clientele to 20 per week... Somewhat check

3 Year Goal
Finish Yoga instructor... not check
Be in a house, mine or rented...somewhat check
Increase clientele to 25 per week... Somewhat Check

5 Year Goal
Open my own wellness center... Not Check
Tummy Tuck and cosmetic dentistry... Not Check
Have Piper in a school that promotes healthy creativity.... Not sure

So, I have done some of things that I wanted to and some things like they are going to take me a million years to get to.  I am working on the Thai Massage this year for my CEU's for my license which is another goal down.  I don't know about ski diving over the ocean, there is no clear cut landing area that doesn't have the potential to have predators there.  And we all know what a total wuss I am when it comes to getting into the ocean.  Piper is now in third grade, so that's going well.... maybe... my clients, well, I am thinking about cutting back on that part and seeing about going with maybe 6 a week on my own, doing my mobile thing.  Yoga instructor... Well, I have looked and found something that I really want to be a part of.  Sadly there are no schools close to me so it either involves moving or moving.  I have found a class that I really would like to be part of.  I am hoping to see into their online course.  It won't get me the cert that I want, but, it's a step in the right direction.  Fixing my teeth... hahahahahahahahaha, I did have a tooth get chipped and that was fixed and now looks a whole lot better than it did.  I almost like the way it looks.  Tummy tuck is still pretty far off, and really, it's not that big of a deal to me anymore.  I know what I am and I know what I am not, so it's all good.  In a house... That would be lovely. 

I am looking at these goals and I am realizing that I need to rewrite them and see what I can and cannot do.  I am hoping for only good things and an easy way to get there.  That's not always the way it goes, but, it's nice to think so.  Anyhow, that's all for now... Until tomorrow :)