Over the last few weeks, I have not had the use of my computer. The mother board that I have been trying so hard to take care of, I thought, was finally done. I was not happy about that. Not that I don't spend way too much time on facebook and play stupid videos on YouTube, but, more than that, I thought that I had lost my ability to write. I couldn't even use to it write the book that I am officially working on. I was, for all intensive purposes, thinking that my voice wouldn't be heard for a long time. It was a horrible feeling.
I think I am glad that I tried to plug it back in today and see what would happen. I think it just needed some time off from everything and then it would go back to working. Now, the problem remains that I don't have the Internet at home anymore. I will be able to work on my book which is a good thing if you ask me :)
I have been watching lots of movies lately, and there was one that while the context of the movie didn't make me cry, it was the fact things like this go on in our country all the time, and it's the almighty dollar is really the biggest problem we have in our land today. I was so saddened that this movie, so well done, really well acted, had hardly even a notice to anyone who wasn't looking for it. I hate to say that even I have become a fan of the action flicks, but, I know that there are other movies of greater substance than the ones where everyone is shooting each other, like, Cloud Atlas or The East. Movies that should have been noticed by the Academy, but, will not be because it's not about action and people always killing each other. Cloud Atlas has become one of my most favorite movies of all time. Since I first saw the trailer for it, I was taken in by it. All I knew was that I had to see this movie. It was already out of theaters so I had to wait for it to come out to video. It was so well worth the wait. It was so beautifully done and everyone in it was so good. I can't help but really think about all that this movie implied. It was amazing for me.
The East was a movie about domestic terrorist organization that made the big businesses pay for what they had done. The oil companies, the pharmaceutical companies, the companies that dump waste into the rivers and lakes and contaminates the water table. They all had to pay for what they had done. And while I understand that it's against the law to try the kind of tactics, I more understand why they thought it was necessary to do it. And for that, I cried. I cried because sometimes, I feel like I am so naïve that I had no idea just how greedy people have become. I know that I too suffer from greed, but, I don't think that money should ever come at the cost of other people. And that's what was going on in this movie. A drug that had been toxic yet given out as an antibiotic and the side effects were horrible, yet, still prescribed. The gave it to the makers of the drug and they got to see what it was like to have a dose of their own medicine. An oil company that spilled oil had their house flooded with it. That company that dumped into the lakes, made to swim in it. And all of these people who made the money off of all these things, were in it all for the money.
I like money, I would like to have more of it, I LOVE to spend it. I don't think that if making it meant that I had to pollute the ocean, or the water table where so many live, or create a drug that could harm more than it will do good, then I don't want to make my fortune that way. I can't understand so much of why things go on these days. There is more greed in our world than ever and it makes me so sad that I cried for hours. I am so very sad that we have let something that really is a tool become what drives us. It's used to purchase toilet paper and milk and it has been corrupted so much that it doesn't matter who gets hurt in the process of acquiring it. I would like to think that there is still some good in the world and that others would see what we are doing to our earth and think twice about killing it. The need for nuclear power really scares me more than anything now. I see what has happened at the different places and I think it would be really a wise idea to harness the natural powers that world gives us to power our lives. Like using solar power and wind generators for our homes.
I am scared for the future of our world. It's not my generation that will have to deal with this, I think, it's Piper's grand kids that will have to deal with what we have done. We as a whole, not like it's all someone else's fault. We all have a hand in it, now, let's take our hands and see what good we can do with it instead. We can stop buying water and get a purifier instead. We can stop bashing the things that we don't like in our lives and instead promote what we do like. We can stop saying that the best way to cure something is to inject poison into our bodies. We can stop putting processed food into our bodies and start putting fresh fruits and vegetables into our bodies. Most importantly, we can stop the GMO and MSG in our foods. Eat only things that make our bodies happy... and that's not Oreo's that I'm talking about.
I hate that when I go to the store, and I see that all of the best fruits and vegetables are so ungodly expensive, making it nearly impossible to buy anything that is remotely healthy. Yet, if we go to say, McDonald's, they have burgers and fries and enormous sodas for $.99. I hate that it's damn near impossible to make a healthy meal without spending an arm and a leg.
Anyhow, I think that's enough of a rant for now, I have to get going... I am getting on the treadmill for another 30 minutes today. I would like to think that I will be thinner very soon, but, I don't know about that... it's funny, in my own sense of greed, I will do any number of Feng Shui things to help increase the energy of money so that it flows to me... yet, when it comes to me losing the weight that I know that I have to get off of me, I have a super hard time with it. I suppose if losing the weight would bring me infinite amount of money that I could use to help other do better and become more than they are, I would be super thin... maybe that's the real challenge... hmmm..... interesting...
Friday, November 29, 2013
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Thoughts to offer advice
This week, I have been thinking of the things that make us, people, happy in our lives. What is it that some have and others, just can't seem to get any off? Why do we have these lives that seem to take on so much and we find that we are not happy in any way?
I have got it. I figured it out. It is my experience that far too many of us, to start with, don't like ourselves. Why? What is it about us that just turns our stomachs? I am not too sure what it is for everyone, but, it took me a long time to get this one. It's that we see what we are, and we see what everyone else sees as beautiful and in our minds, the two just don't align with one another. But how to fix that, that's the real kicker.
To start with, we take a good look at ourselves. Get undressed and stand in front of the mirror and look at what we have been given. Get a good look at it. Really see what it is that bothers you the most. Is it really your body that makes you so upset or is it something that goes deeper? Realize that you only have this one body to do whatever it is that you are here to do. Like it or not, and if you don't like what you see, do something about it. I am not fond of what I see, but, I think that when I look into the mirror, I'm not too worried about how dimply my ass is, it's more about, what do others see when they see me? Do I reflect the light that I feel within myself? Do my eyes shine and sparkle? Can I smile with my eyes alone? Or is it something else? Do they see that I am angry or that I am just unhappy? Do they look at me and wonder why am I so sad, what is it about me that I don't like?
Me personally, I shine :) I am like a sparkly star that is here on earth and loves and feels joy and realizes that I am only here for a short while, so I want to be as happy as I can be. True, I have stress and I have life to deal with, but, I don't let that get to me. I still smile, and when it becomes too much, I cry.
I was reading this morning, in my Insight of the Day, that there are many people in this world who are so unhappy that they are like Dump Trucks and they just want to unload their shit all over you. And the trick is when they dump all that shit all over you, to just wave, smile and wish happiness and love to them. I would have to say that sometimes it is hard to not let it the shit get to me. I am tuned in to other people's energy and when they are in a bad mood I feel like I am being sucked dry of all my energy. In moments like this, I close my eyes and imagine a golden waterfall flowing over me head filling me up and that this gold is pouring from my hands into these people and that way I am not being drained of all my energy.
How did I get like this you may be wondering? What happened in my life that made me this way? Some times, I have bad days too. I feel like the whole world is falling down and I don't know what to do. It started when I was kicked out of the Navy. Less than a year later, my marriage was so completely falling apart and Joey left me. I was so lost and desperate and sad and depressed and unhappy. I had no clue how to smile. I felt like this empty thing left to wander this earth alone. I was lucky though. I had Piper to remind me that there was something worth living for. I knew that my sadness would only bring her sadness so I started slowly. I moved away from Joey. I was heartbroken that he never once asked me to stay. I moved back into my parents home and it was the hardest thing for me when the house was empty and I didn't know what to do.
I got a job, and working was a good thing. I began to date another man and that was nice. He was nice to me, and he made me smile. It was a huge ego boost for me. We only dated for a short while, but, we were still together a lot. In fact, he moved in with me for about 8 months. In April or May or June or 2009, I found my friend Jessica again. I was so happy to see her again. We started talking and with very little provocation, I was enrolled into the Therapeutic Massage Program at the local college. It just seemed like a good thing to do at the time, plus it would give me a career. By this time, I had been divorced for not a year yet, and the hardest thing I ever did, was sending Piper to stay with her dad while I was in school. It wasn't fair to her that I couldn't be around to give her what she needs, and Joey, being the dad he is, was very happy to let her come stay with him for that time.
What started as a way to get through life and find a career, turned into the event that changed my life. I first realized how toxic the relationship I had with my ex boyfriend was. So, after some prompting from a friend at work, I went for an Angel Reading. Not quite the same as a Tarot reading, mostly good things were told to me, and it was an amazing experience. She knew things about me, before I told her. She knew how hard life had been in the recent past, and what she did tell me, was, good things are in store for me, I just have to raise my vibration a lot and everything that I have been wanting will show up, almost as if by magic. I bought her book, it is 8 Keys: A Special Delivery Message From The Angels by Linda West.
Now, normally, I would read a book in one sitting and this one, took me a while. I had to do the meditations in there and really take a look at what I saw. She also suggested that I take a class she was doing at the college on my birthday. I didn't want to go. It was my birthday and I wanted to play, but, in the end, I went. The change within me was so great that in three weeks, she didn't even recognize me.
One thing this book taught was to forgive. Always, every time. Forgiveness is a huge thing and for so many, they just don't understand why they should do it. Here's why you should forgive. When we forgive others for the things that have hurt us, we let go of the anger and are open to new and happier things to happen. We forgive because we deserve to have peace. The hardest person to forgive is ourselves. So, yes, you have to forgive even yourself of all the things that you have done to hurt others. It may take time to do so, and you may be doing it for a while, but, I promise, without that anger inside, you will start to feel much better.
So, learn to love yourself, and forgive others and yourself. What else could there be in life to make you happy though? Love. I'm not saying that you should run out and find whomever is sitting there and just go for it. Decide that it's time, and if it's not, then stop worrying about it. You have to make yourself happy before you should take up the challenge of making anyone else happy. I took a good look at my past relationships and saw things that I didn't like, and instead of focusing on finding a man who wasn't all of those things, I made a list of things that I did want to find in him. I wanted him be like me first. I wanted him to say nice things to me. I wanted someone who was smarter than I am so I have someone who would challenge me to do more and be more and achieve more than what I had. I wanted to find someone who only saw me in black and white, because I think I look so much better in black and white. And when I stopped thinking of a man that I didn't want, and started to think about finding a mate and a partner whom I did want, it was a very short amount of time before I discovered that he had been sitting next to me for the past 6 months.
From Thomas, I have learned to like my kids as people and to appreciate the individuals that they are. I have learned that when it comes to paperwork, he has the worst luck, but that doesn't stop me. I have learned to deal with a lot more stress than I ever thought possible, and through it, I have learned that I can improve more upon myself.
I know that I am a selfish, self absorbed female who doesn't always think of others. But I am working on that. I know that I need to learn to do more around the house instead of bitching, and I am working on that as well. I know that if I want to have my clothes cleaned, then I need to get up off of my ass and do the laundry... and so I do.
Happiness has not always been this easy for me. And I still have days where I feel like shit, or I am feel that I am causing extreme displeasure, but, I keep going, knowing that my happiness is dependent only on myself. I make the choice to be happy, and I make the choice to smile. I like to smile, smiling is my favorite thing. I don't' like my own smile, but, I don't have to see it :) For me, happiness is being at peace with myself and the world around me. I cannot say that it's always peaceful here, but, we try. (Haha, we, like I have this mouse in my pocket right :)
I still have much to work on, like I should really start to vocalize when I am upset and not be so forgiving when someone hurts my feelings and I know that I shouldn't cry so much, but, I do. It's what I do. I think crying is a way of washing all the bad feelings out of my soul. It's like, cleaning.
For you, to be happy may not be the same things that it is for me, and that's totally OK with me. I know what makes me happy, and I have found joy in the life that I have. I want more sure, but, that is mostly that I want Publisher's Clearing House to come to my door with a check for like $8,500.00 every week for the rest of my life. Or to check my Power Ball tickets and find that I have just won like $46,000,000.00. That would be awesome, but, if it doesn't happen, I'm not going to let that bother me. I find happiness in finding pennies on the ground, and I feel rich when I find more.. like a nickel, or even a quarter.
What makes me happy? My Love, my family, my friends.... My life!
I have got it. I figured it out. It is my experience that far too many of us, to start with, don't like ourselves. Why? What is it about us that just turns our stomachs? I am not too sure what it is for everyone, but, it took me a long time to get this one. It's that we see what we are, and we see what everyone else sees as beautiful and in our minds, the two just don't align with one another. But how to fix that, that's the real kicker.
To start with, we take a good look at ourselves. Get undressed and stand in front of the mirror and look at what we have been given. Get a good look at it. Really see what it is that bothers you the most. Is it really your body that makes you so upset or is it something that goes deeper? Realize that you only have this one body to do whatever it is that you are here to do. Like it or not, and if you don't like what you see, do something about it. I am not fond of what I see, but, I think that when I look into the mirror, I'm not too worried about how dimply my ass is, it's more about, what do others see when they see me? Do I reflect the light that I feel within myself? Do my eyes shine and sparkle? Can I smile with my eyes alone? Or is it something else? Do they see that I am angry or that I am just unhappy? Do they look at me and wonder why am I so sad, what is it about me that I don't like?
Me personally, I shine :) I am like a sparkly star that is here on earth and loves and feels joy and realizes that I am only here for a short while, so I want to be as happy as I can be. True, I have stress and I have life to deal with, but, I don't let that get to me. I still smile, and when it becomes too much, I cry.
I was reading this morning, in my Insight of the Day, that there are many people in this world who are so unhappy that they are like Dump Trucks and they just want to unload their shit all over you. And the trick is when they dump all that shit all over you, to just wave, smile and wish happiness and love to them. I would have to say that sometimes it is hard to not let it the shit get to me. I am tuned in to other people's energy and when they are in a bad mood I feel like I am being sucked dry of all my energy. In moments like this, I close my eyes and imagine a golden waterfall flowing over me head filling me up and that this gold is pouring from my hands into these people and that way I am not being drained of all my energy.
How did I get like this you may be wondering? What happened in my life that made me this way? Some times, I have bad days too. I feel like the whole world is falling down and I don't know what to do. It started when I was kicked out of the Navy. Less than a year later, my marriage was so completely falling apart and Joey left me. I was so lost and desperate and sad and depressed and unhappy. I had no clue how to smile. I felt like this empty thing left to wander this earth alone. I was lucky though. I had Piper to remind me that there was something worth living for. I knew that my sadness would only bring her sadness so I started slowly. I moved away from Joey. I was heartbroken that he never once asked me to stay. I moved back into my parents home and it was the hardest thing for me when the house was empty and I didn't know what to do.
I got a job, and working was a good thing. I began to date another man and that was nice. He was nice to me, and he made me smile. It was a huge ego boost for me. We only dated for a short while, but, we were still together a lot. In fact, he moved in with me for about 8 months. In April or May or June or 2009, I found my friend Jessica again. I was so happy to see her again. We started talking and with very little provocation, I was enrolled into the Therapeutic Massage Program at the local college. It just seemed like a good thing to do at the time, plus it would give me a career. By this time, I had been divorced for not a year yet, and the hardest thing I ever did, was sending Piper to stay with her dad while I was in school. It wasn't fair to her that I couldn't be around to give her what she needs, and Joey, being the dad he is, was very happy to let her come stay with him for that time.
What started as a way to get through life and find a career, turned into the event that changed my life. I first realized how toxic the relationship I had with my ex boyfriend was. So, after some prompting from a friend at work, I went for an Angel Reading. Not quite the same as a Tarot reading, mostly good things were told to me, and it was an amazing experience. She knew things about me, before I told her. She knew how hard life had been in the recent past, and what she did tell me, was, good things are in store for me, I just have to raise my vibration a lot and everything that I have been wanting will show up, almost as if by magic. I bought her book, it is 8 Keys: A Special Delivery Message From The Angels by Linda West.
Now, normally, I would read a book in one sitting and this one, took me a while. I had to do the meditations in there and really take a look at what I saw. She also suggested that I take a class she was doing at the college on my birthday. I didn't want to go. It was my birthday and I wanted to play, but, in the end, I went. The change within me was so great that in three weeks, she didn't even recognize me.
One thing this book taught was to forgive. Always, every time. Forgiveness is a huge thing and for so many, they just don't understand why they should do it. Here's why you should forgive. When we forgive others for the things that have hurt us, we let go of the anger and are open to new and happier things to happen. We forgive because we deserve to have peace. The hardest person to forgive is ourselves. So, yes, you have to forgive even yourself of all the things that you have done to hurt others. It may take time to do so, and you may be doing it for a while, but, I promise, without that anger inside, you will start to feel much better.
So, learn to love yourself, and forgive others and yourself. What else could there be in life to make you happy though? Love. I'm not saying that you should run out and find whomever is sitting there and just go for it. Decide that it's time, and if it's not, then stop worrying about it. You have to make yourself happy before you should take up the challenge of making anyone else happy. I took a good look at my past relationships and saw things that I didn't like, and instead of focusing on finding a man who wasn't all of those things, I made a list of things that I did want to find in him. I wanted him be like me first. I wanted him to say nice things to me. I wanted someone who was smarter than I am so I have someone who would challenge me to do more and be more and achieve more than what I had. I wanted to find someone who only saw me in black and white, because I think I look so much better in black and white. And when I stopped thinking of a man that I didn't want, and started to think about finding a mate and a partner whom I did want, it was a very short amount of time before I discovered that he had been sitting next to me for the past 6 months.
From Thomas, I have learned to like my kids as people and to appreciate the individuals that they are. I have learned that when it comes to paperwork, he has the worst luck, but that doesn't stop me. I have learned to deal with a lot more stress than I ever thought possible, and through it, I have learned that I can improve more upon myself.
I know that I am a selfish, self absorbed female who doesn't always think of others. But I am working on that. I know that I need to learn to do more around the house instead of bitching, and I am working on that as well. I know that if I want to have my clothes cleaned, then I need to get up off of my ass and do the laundry... and so I do.
Happiness has not always been this easy for me. And I still have days where I feel like shit, or I am feel that I am causing extreme displeasure, but, I keep going, knowing that my happiness is dependent only on myself. I make the choice to be happy, and I make the choice to smile. I like to smile, smiling is my favorite thing. I don't' like my own smile, but, I don't have to see it :) For me, happiness is being at peace with myself and the world around me. I cannot say that it's always peaceful here, but, we try. (Haha, we, like I have this mouse in my pocket right :)
I still have much to work on, like I should really start to vocalize when I am upset and not be so forgiving when someone hurts my feelings and I know that I shouldn't cry so much, but, I do. It's what I do. I think crying is a way of washing all the bad feelings out of my soul. It's like, cleaning.
For you, to be happy may not be the same things that it is for me, and that's totally OK with me. I know what makes me happy, and I have found joy in the life that I have. I want more sure, but, that is mostly that I want Publisher's Clearing House to come to my door with a check for like $8,500.00 every week for the rest of my life. Or to check my Power Ball tickets and find that I have just won like $46,000,000.00. That would be awesome, but, if it doesn't happen, I'm not going to let that bother me. I find happiness in finding pennies on the ground, and I feel rich when I find more.. like a nickel, or even a quarter.
What makes me happy? My Love, my family, my friends.... My life!
The most important kind of freedom
"The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. There can't be any large-scale revolution until there's a personal revolution, on an individual level. It's got to happen inside first." ~ Jim Morrison
I saw this quote tonight while going through facebook, and as I was scrolling through the comments, one stuck me as a person who totally missed the whole thing. He said "Words from a acid head....great speech look were he is today, 6 feet under. Lol" I was taken back to say the least. The other comments were how poetic he was, how much he was ahead of his time, and then, some yuppie type who doesn't know anything about what he was talking about, makes a comment like that. Wow. I feel bad for that man for a few reasons. The first is because he is just that uninformed about what Jim Morrison was all about, what he stood for, what he did, and the reasons behind it. True, he did a lot of drugs. And yes, he is dead. Part of the 27 club in fact. He is buried in Paris, the city of love. He was so much more than what we, even with our technology and forethought and everything that we have now, he was way far ahead of us even now.
Freedom, we seem to take the for granted in this country. But, what kind of freedom do we really have here? I have the freedom of speech, given to me by the Bill of Rights. Meaning, I can say what I wish and not have the fear of being taken prisoner and sent to, say, Siberia for saying anything. Or is it deeper than that. I can't make threats, and, for me personally, I can't be mean to others for the sake of being mean. I like this freedom, it gives me the opportunity to write this blog, to speak out against what I think is wrong, and yet, I like to be able to provide a solution for what I don't agree with. Sometimes my solution is not exactly, politically correct, so if I run for president next year, then I will have lots of explaining to do, but, today, I don't care if I offend. I try not to, but, it happens, and when it does, I just tell you, that my opinion, if you don't like it, that is OK, we don't have to agree with everything.
I have the freedom to practice any religion that I chose in this country, and I know that not all places on our planet are like that, and so I am grateful for that, and yet, I find it disturbing that so many others use their religion to persecute others for their beliefs. That doesn't make sense to me, but, many things don't. I can chose to live my life the way it fits for me, and if I make choices that don't agree with say, The Church, then, I'm going to hell and I can't live like that because it doesn't agree with a book. Yup, that's freedom all right.
I have the freedom to own and carry a firearm. Yet, when people do, others look at them like they have magically grown another head. You hear, what do you need to carry that for? What are you afraid of? And I like what Thomas says when he's asked... Because I can, because it's my RIGHT, and I'm not afraid of anything.
I have the freedom to express myself how I like, unless I want to get a job in many places because, well, they don't' think that respectable people have nose rings, or tattoos. Not really free there, but, whatever.
And then free from myself. What is it about self realization that makes us free? What is about self realization that makes so many want to get there, and yet, they continue to search and never find the answer. The answer has always and will always be only one place that many are so scared to look. It lies within you. And what I don't understand all of the time, is why is our minds such a scary place? I wonder often, that, do people listen to things to drowned out their thoughts because deep down, they wish harm to others and then they think that makes them a bad person, so they block that out. I like to hear my thoughts. In fact, I like to focus to see what's really going on in my head, and to do that, I have to be outside. In the sunlight. I don't know why, but, for me, that's when I hear myself the best. And some of the things that I think about are not how to improve upon myself, it's more about, what is next in life, what is coming up, where do I see myself going with this. Sometimes I wonder about other people, but, I don't' see that as being very effective for me, because, I can't change other people, all I can do is be the change that I want to see in the world.
So the question to you now becomes, are you free, really truly free?
I saw this quote tonight while going through facebook, and as I was scrolling through the comments, one stuck me as a person who totally missed the whole thing. He said "Words from a acid head....great speech look were he is today, 6 feet under. Lol" I was taken back to say the least. The other comments were how poetic he was, how much he was ahead of his time, and then, some yuppie type who doesn't know anything about what he was talking about, makes a comment like that. Wow. I feel bad for that man for a few reasons. The first is because he is just that uninformed about what Jim Morrison was all about, what he stood for, what he did, and the reasons behind it. True, he did a lot of drugs. And yes, he is dead. Part of the 27 club in fact. He is buried in Paris, the city of love. He was so much more than what we, even with our technology and forethought and everything that we have now, he was way far ahead of us even now.
Freedom, we seem to take the for granted in this country. But, what kind of freedom do we really have here? I have the freedom of speech, given to me by the Bill of Rights. Meaning, I can say what I wish and not have the fear of being taken prisoner and sent to, say, Siberia for saying anything. Or is it deeper than that. I can't make threats, and, for me personally, I can't be mean to others for the sake of being mean. I like this freedom, it gives me the opportunity to write this blog, to speak out against what I think is wrong, and yet, I like to be able to provide a solution for what I don't agree with. Sometimes my solution is not exactly, politically correct, so if I run for president next year, then I will have lots of explaining to do, but, today, I don't care if I offend. I try not to, but, it happens, and when it does, I just tell you, that my opinion, if you don't like it, that is OK, we don't have to agree with everything.
I have the freedom to practice any religion that I chose in this country, and I know that not all places on our planet are like that, and so I am grateful for that, and yet, I find it disturbing that so many others use their religion to persecute others for their beliefs. That doesn't make sense to me, but, many things don't. I can chose to live my life the way it fits for me, and if I make choices that don't agree with say, The Church, then, I'm going to hell and I can't live like that because it doesn't agree with a book. Yup, that's freedom all right.
I have the freedom to own and carry a firearm. Yet, when people do, others look at them like they have magically grown another head. You hear, what do you need to carry that for? What are you afraid of? And I like what Thomas says when he's asked... Because I can, because it's my RIGHT, and I'm not afraid of anything.
I have the freedom to express myself how I like, unless I want to get a job in many places because, well, they don't' think that respectable people have nose rings, or tattoos. Not really free there, but, whatever.
And then free from myself. What is it about self realization that makes us free? What is about self realization that makes so many want to get there, and yet, they continue to search and never find the answer. The answer has always and will always be only one place that many are so scared to look. It lies within you. And what I don't understand all of the time, is why is our minds such a scary place? I wonder often, that, do people listen to things to drowned out their thoughts because deep down, they wish harm to others and then they think that makes them a bad person, so they block that out. I like to hear my thoughts. In fact, I like to focus to see what's really going on in my head, and to do that, I have to be outside. In the sunlight. I don't know why, but, for me, that's when I hear myself the best. And some of the things that I think about are not how to improve upon myself, it's more about, what is next in life, what is coming up, where do I see myself going with this. Sometimes I wonder about other people, but, I don't' see that as being very effective for me, because, I can't change other people, all I can do is be the change that I want to see in the world.
So the question to you now becomes, are you free, really truly free?
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