So, last night, I was lying in bed and I was having a hard time falling asleep. I think I was awake for quite a while before I just got up. I thought about getting up and trying to rearrange my shoes in the closet, and then, I wanted to get up and watch a movie with Thomas. In the end, sleep won out after a while and I was able to go to bed.
I was thinking about some of the things people do when they can't sleep. Mostly, I know that Kelsie and Thomas like to watch movies and clean. Well, I know that Thomas likes to clean. When I lived in California, I know that they used to prescribe medical cannabis for things like insomnia, anorexia, depression, anxiety, migraines, chronic pain, glaucoma, and a various array of other things.
And this got me to thinking about what would I like to do when I can't sleep... I just lay there and hope that sleep comes. Sometimes it works, sometimes it really doesn't. If it's really bad, that's when I get up to go to the bathroom and get some water... it's a bad thing when I can't sleep because I usually have to be up early the next morning.
And this all brings me to a question that was asked of me this morning... What do you want? In life in general? At work? Of my car? My career? Where do you want to live and what is it that you want of life? Hmmm... That's a toughie really. First of all, I want my car to not break down every year when it gets cold.. Like 0 cold. I want to have a reliable vehicle. I was thinking the Subaru XV Crosstrek. It's got heated seats (not that I need those), all wheel drive, good little car overall. Even reviews of this car are good... So then, I tell the universe that it's my car, how are you going to get it to me? Second, I would like to be paid what I'm worth... and for the work that I do, I'm worth a lot!!! Thomas says that I'm talented in what I do, and while I would like to think so, I just don't want to get too big of head. I can't let my ego get the best of... I'm just thankful that I get to do what I went to college for and I really enjoy the work that I do. I keep thinking, after last weeks lunch with the Chamber of Commerce for the town of Snowflake, I could be the best speaker ever!!! After all of the feedback that I have been getting, it makes me think that I could do that! I'm a great speaker, just give me a microphone and away I go... I want to live somewhere closer to the ocean. I miss the water so much, it's so nice to be there and listen to the waves hitting the sand, makes my heart feel peaceful.
What do I want from life? I have a fantastic man that I love very dearly and am so grateful for him each and every day. I have two wonderful girls that I get to hang around and love and help them to grow up into beautiful, well adjusted women. I have a home that is comfortable and safe to be at. I have great health and so does my family, for the most part. What more could I ask for... I would say that I have everything that I need. Even if my car isn't running today, doesn't mean that it won't be running very soon... I want Arbor/Res care to compensate Thomas for all damages and losses that have happened in losing his medical report. I want Publisher's Clearing House to come to my house with a big check for $10 million. I want to win the lottery and come away with about $75 million...
Why do I want the money you would ask... I want the money because I can do things with it that I can't do right now. I want to build a rollerskating rink and indoor skate park for the youth and young at heart in my community. I want to build a homeless shelter and soup kitchen for all members of the community who are down on their luck and need a place to sleep and eat. I want to give vets and non-violent felons a job who want to work. Every one makes poor choices and sometimes, all you need is someone taking a chance on you and giving you the opportunity to shine once again. I want to be able to send my girls to the college of their choice without wondering if I'm going to break the bank in the process. I don't want them to start out in life sinking in student loans. It's just ridiculous. And, I want to travel when it's all said and done and I can take a vacation to where ever I want to go... and I want to see it all. I want to start with the country that I served for. I want to start in DC and Philadelphia and see where it all started.
I want a lot it seems, and though it's a dream at this point, I know that I'm destined for greatness. I haven't quite figured out how this is all going to happen, but, I know that it will. I have faith that great things are in store for me... It's just a matter of keeping the faith that Universe will bring it all to me... The Universe will bring it all to me, I have asked for it. I have the best part of it though, already, it's all going to be at home tonight, by 7 pm, I imagine.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Friday, January 25, 2013
The news
It has been too long since I have last written.. or typed really. A few days ago, I think it was Tuesday, I was going to talk about the news and what was in it, but, after reading the news, I found that while there were things in it that I was interested in and are national issues, I mostly discovered that I was drawn to the articles about fashion. Guess we know what is most interesting to me.
In the newspaper this week, a man wrote a letter to the editor, White Mountain Independent, talking about our nation celebrating the abolition of slavery and the anniversary of Roe v. Wade. He wasn't too happy about the later. Hooray for men of all colors having all sorts of rights including Civil rights and the right to vote, but sorry women, you still don't have rights to your bodies.
It was quite a heated debate that I found most intriguing. Here was a group of mainly men talking about abortion and how wrong it was because it was still killing a human being. I have to disagree on this point.
Now, some of you know my story and things I have done in the past, and for those that don't, it's nothing that I am ashamed of, but really none of your business. Anyhow, I had to bring up a few points about how if you take away all rights, and say that abortion straights across the board should be illegal, then I want you to think about a few points. If this was your daughter, daughter-in-law, sister, wife, best friend, normal teenage neighbor that became pregnant for whatever reason. Tests have been done and they find that if the woman takes the pregnancy to full term, she will surly die! Do you tell her that her life is not as important as the unborn child's life? What if the child has severe deformities and will have no normal brain function? Do you tell her that once again, despite the no quality of life, her life has finished its run and she's got to go?
I disagree with using abortion as a form of birth control, that wasn't the point of it (I think). But it was to give a woman a right to choice her life over that of her unborn child. I believe that when you defund planned parenthood, it makes the ability to be responsible for our own lives a lot more difficult. I think that defunding planned parenthood would no longer give women who can not afford contraception (usually $70 +) the opportunity to be smart about their lives. Some ladies know that they cannot afford to have a babies. Some women know that they want to focus on their careers instead of having kids. There are females who know that they don't want to have kids. Birth control is effective 98.9% of the time. But what of the other 1.2% of those people?
I used the words unborn child earlier. One tends to have the feelings that it was a whole living thing, a soul has begun to learn what it's destiny is, a life if you will. However, when you say fetus, it doesn't have the same kind of feeling to it. Fetus sounds a bit more cold, less impressive, and somewhat expendable.
I was thinking about animals too... Not the they have cognitive reasoning but hear me out. A dog has gotten pregnant. She's having all sorts of problems and you take her to the vet. Vet says, she will die if an abortion is not preformed. You say, where do I sign the papers?... A dog, a bitch. She is part of your family, you love her, there is no way you're going to lose her when you have the chance to save her life and maybe, just maybe, she will get pregnant again and you can have puppies later. Do you see where I'm going with this one?
We treat the women in our lives like they are still property when we tell them that their life is not as important as the fetus. We tell her that the family pet's life is much more valuable than hers because we can decide for these bitches what they can't. I find that kind of disturbing actually.
I feel pretty strongly about this. It's something that is close to my heart because of my life and experiences. I also said in the article that everyone has their own lives. And we may not understand choices that others make, but until you walk a mile in those heels, you have no clue what has brought any woman to this decision. It's a hard one to make and not taken into lightly. Not only that, it's a decision that they have to live with every single day.
Me personally, I don't think about it except when it's in the news, and then I have to put my two cents in it. I have no regrets and I like it that way :)
And of course there was the "God has a plan" bit going. And I'm sure she does, but, if you don't talk to her directly, how do you know that this wasn't in 'the plan'? As put so eloquently by Mike Tyson, "Everyone has a plan, until they get hit".
Anyhow, it's just what I was thinking about. It's going to be a good night tonight.. I'm going to enjoy getting a massage tomorrow and then getting my hair done. I love my life!! I'm so grateful for it!! But for tonight, I'm going to enjoy this a whole bunch!!!
In the newspaper this week, a man wrote a letter to the editor, White Mountain Independent, talking about our nation celebrating the abolition of slavery and the anniversary of Roe v. Wade. He wasn't too happy about the later. Hooray for men of all colors having all sorts of rights including Civil rights and the right to vote, but sorry women, you still don't have rights to your bodies.
It was quite a heated debate that I found most intriguing. Here was a group of mainly men talking about abortion and how wrong it was because it was still killing a human being. I have to disagree on this point.
Now, some of you know my story and things I have done in the past, and for those that don't, it's nothing that I am ashamed of, but really none of your business. Anyhow, I had to bring up a few points about how if you take away all rights, and say that abortion straights across the board should be illegal, then I want you to think about a few points. If this was your daughter, daughter-in-law, sister, wife, best friend, normal teenage neighbor that became pregnant for whatever reason. Tests have been done and they find that if the woman takes the pregnancy to full term, she will surly die! Do you tell her that her life is not as important as the unborn child's life? What if the child has severe deformities and will have no normal brain function? Do you tell her that once again, despite the no quality of life, her life has finished its run and she's got to go?
I disagree with using abortion as a form of birth control, that wasn't the point of it (I think). But it was to give a woman a right to choice her life over that of her unborn child. I believe that when you defund planned parenthood, it makes the ability to be responsible for our own lives a lot more difficult. I think that defunding planned parenthood would no longer give women who can not afford contraception (usually $70 +) the opportunity to be smart about their lives. Some ladies know that they cannot afford to have a babies. Some women know that they want to focus on their careers instead of having kids. There are females who know that they don't want to have kids. Birth control is effective 98.9% of the time. But what of the other 1.2% of those people?
I used the words unborn child earlier. One tends to have the feelings that it was a whole living thing, a soul has begun to learn what it's destiny is, a life if you will. However, when you say fetus, it doesn't have the same kind of feeling to it. Fetus sounds a bit more cold, less impressive, and somewhat expendable.
I was thinking about animals too... Not the they have cognitive reasoning but hear me out. A dog has gotten pregnant. She's having all sorts of problems and you take her to the vet. Vet says, she will die if an abortion is not preformed. You say, where do I sign the papers?... A dog, a bitch. She is part of your family, you love her, there is no way you're going to lose her when you have the chance to save her life and maybe, just maybe, she will get pregnant again and you can have puppies later. Do you see where I'm going with this one?
We treat the women in our lives like they are still property when we tell them that their life is not as important as the fetus. We tell her that the family pet's life is much more valuable than hers because we can decide for these bitches what they can't. I find that kind of disturbing actually.
I feel pretty strongly about this. It's something that is close to my heart because of my life and experiences. I also said in the article that everyone has their own lives. And we may not understand choices that others make, but until you walk a mile in those heels, you have no clue what has brought any woman to this decision. It's a hard one to make and not taken into lightly. Not only that, it's a decision that they have to live with every single day.
Me personally, I don't think about it except when it's in the news, and then I have to put my two cents in it. I have no regrets and I like it that way :)
And of course there was the "God has a plan" bit going. And I'm sure she does, but, if you don't talk to her directly, how do you know that this wasn't in 'the plan'? As put so eloquently by Mike Tyson, "Everyone has a plan, until they get hit".
Anyhow, it's just what I was thinking about. It's going to be a good night tonight.. I'm going to enjoy getting a massage tomorrow and then getting my hair done. I love my life!! I'm so grateful for it!! But for tonight, I'm going to enjoy this a whole bunch!!!
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Days off
For the work that I do, it's not always feasible for a few people to be able to get a massage during the week, and so, I work one Saturday a month. This weekend was my one weekend. I do still love going to work and doing the job, but, I think the next time, I will take the following Monday off. For whatever reason, I have a thing for having two days off in a row. I think I should have three, but, no matter really. It was good that I worked on Saturday, I was able to get all the laundry done on Friday night, and take it to work again on Saturday, so, when I get to work tomorrow, I won't have to set up anything, just plug in the heat and go.
My car is not starting these days. I don't like that at all! It's been three years now that my car has failed to start once the temperature reaches, or rather falls to 0 F, or below. I don't like it because it makes my car unreliable and useless until I have the money to be able to fix whatever part some mechanic tells me I need to replace this year.
I have decided that I am going to start my workout challenge this week instead of in two weeks. I just can't wait that long anymore. I am truly excited to get this going! I have the workout now, and I intend on finishing this. I am going to do this!!! It's something that I have only finished once, and the results were really amazing, so, I think that I should try to give it a go once again.
Not too much going on tonight, just hanging out with the family. Tomorrow I will do some laundry once I get home and work out, and have a great dinner with my family. I look forward to that! For now, I am going to finish my tea, and crawl into bed with Thomas. Maybe, I will get to sleep early tonight, maybe not though ;)
My car is not starting these days. I don't like that at all! It's been three years now that my car has failed to start once the temperature reaches, or rather falls to 0 F, or below. I don't like it because it makes my car unreliable and useless until I have the money to be able to fix whatever part some mechanic tells me I need to replace this year.
I have decided that I am going to start my workout challenge this week instead of in two weeks. I just can't wait that long anymore. I am truly excited to get this going! I have the workout now, and I intend on finishing this. I am going to do this!!! It's something that I have only finished once, and the results were really amazing, so, I think that I should try to give it a go once again.
Not too much going on tonight, just hanging out with the family. Tomorrow I will do some laundry once I get home and work out, and have a great dinner with my family. I look forward to that! For now, I am going to finish my tea, and crawl into bed with Thomas. Maybe, I will get to sleep early tonight, maybe not though ;)
Thursday, January 17, 2013
I have thoughts...
It seems every night before I go to bed, I think about this that I would like to put out there for other people to think about as well. In driving to work this morning, I was thinking of that part in Julie & Julia, when Amy Adams says, "I can write a blog, I have thoughts." Which brings me to the thoughts that I have today... Not too much, but, something kind of funny happened at work today. I was having lunch with Kim, and we were talking about how I have been congested for the last couple of days. I hate not being able to breathe, but, having allergies, it's not an abnormal thing for me. But, I have had to common cold kind of symptoms. So, I have been taking a lot of vitamin C, garlic, echinesia, vitamin B12 and a lot of orange juice. For the most part, I have been very good about getting enough sleep during this time too. In fact the last two nights, I got around 10 hours each night. Not too shabby if you ask me! But, the congestion has still plagued me. I can't breathe and that's not really good in my profession. So, after eating tacos, we went to the local pharmacy and I purchased some nasal spray. I took two little puffs in each nostril right before my next appointment, and what do you know? It worked, and now I can breathe again. It was nice to finally be able to breath and not hear it the whole time I'm working with a client.
It's starting to get a little bit normal around here with all of us getting ready for school/work all at once. I got up, got the coffee going, got Kelsie into the shower, got Piper up and dressed. Good morning overall. Especially after I checked my schedule before work, and found that my first appointment had cancelled and now, I didn't have to go to work until 10... HOORAY!!! Too bad she didn't show up for her appointment either. In fact, I was looking forward to the 4 appointments that I had for today, only did 2. Yikes, oh well. Had a really nice time visiting with the two ladies that I did do the work for. In fact, it makes me so happy that I can help them to feel better in any way, it's just such a rewarding kind of work that I do.
I love my job, and I really love that I get to see so many different kinds of people every day. Some are really cool, some are very quiet, some just want the work done and nothing else, and anyway you have it, it's fine with me. I just enjoy doing my work. This morning, I got to use cold therapy on scar tissue. It's was nice to get to work it and see the major difference that it made in just 30 minutes worth of work. How cool is that?
However, there are some people whom I enjoy working with, yet maintain a healthy distance from. Mind you, it's not because they are bad or mean people, I just chose to not give them all of my personal information... You never know when or why someone would use it against you, but, it's better to be safe than sorry in those cases. And for the most part, I just kind of follow my gut instincts and if it doesn't feel right, then I listen to that feeling.
This morning, while I was taking an hour long nap before getting ready for work, our upstairs neighbor locked her keys in the car, while it was running. Thomas was so sweet and called AAA for her and they came out and unlocked her car, and she was able to get to work, late, but there nonetheless. So, this evening, she comes down and says that she's buying us dinner, and she's not taking no for an answer... SWEETNESS!!!! I'm so jazzed about that. She was telling us that she didn't know what she was going to do for dinner, and I said to her, "We're having pizza, what to come down here for dinner?" Tracy just laughed at me. I love our neighbors. We all tend to look out for each other and there is a really great sense that comes from knowing the people who live around you.
I am thinking that I"m going to start my workout challenge earlier than I thought. The reason for this is because in the one that I tried to join, they want me to buy a drink to have every morning and really, I like what I have to drink in the morning. I take fresh fruit, cut dry and freeze it and then pull it out, throw it in the blender with bananas and orange juice. Works well for me, so all I really need to add to that now, is the workout. I have decided to use a workout called Slim in 6. I have used this one before and while, it does get boring with the choice of music, I can plug in my ipod and listen to my workout music instead of the music on this one. It has worked for me many times, but, I have only got to the end of this workout once. So, I want to do this 90 day challenge because I want to finish it! Not to lose weight, or to fit into pants or anything like that, but, I just want to prove to myself that I can finish something that I have started, much like doing this blog :) I am looking forward to doing this. I don't have anyone who will be working out with me, and I refuse to post anything on facebook, but, I will be putting something about it on this blog... and I'm thinking I may be putting better food into my body to help. I think that the side effects of doing the workout may be that I will lose weight and that my pants will get looser on me, but, I just want to finish it.
Those are my thoughts today. I mean, I have other thoughts, but, mostly they are about the politics of our nation and that's a whole other topic for me. I will have to get into my thoughts about gun control and the national deficit and things like that.
For now, it's time for tickling Piper and kissing her little noes.. it's so cute, and soon, dinner time!
It's starting to get a little bit normal around here with all of us getting ready for school/work all at once. I got up, got the coffee going, got Kelsie into the shower, got Piper up and dressed. Good morning overall. Especially after I checked my schedule before work, and found that my first appointment had cancelled and now, I didn't have to go to work until 10... HOORAY!!! Too bad she didn't show up for her appointment either. In fact, I was looking forward to the 4 appointments that I had for today, only did 2. Yikes, oh well. Had a really nice time visiting with the two ladies that I did do the work for. In fact, it makes me so happy that I can help them to feel better in any way, it's just such a rewarding kind of work that I do.
I love my job, and I really love that I get to see so many different kinds of people every day. Some are really cool, some are very quiet, some just want the work done and nothing else, and anyway you have it, it's fine with me. I just enjoy doing my work. This morning, I got to use cold therapy on scar tissue. It's was nice to get to work it and see the major difference that it made in just 30 minutes worth of work. How cool is that?
However, there are some people whom I enjoy working with, yet maintain a healthy distance from. Mind you, it's not because they are bad or mean people, I just chose to not give them all of my personal information... You never know when or why someone would use it against you, but, it's better to be safe than sorry in those cases. And for the most part, I just kind of follow my gut instincts and if it doesn't feel right, then I listen to that feeling.
This morning, while I was taking an hour long nap before getting ready for work, our upstairs neighbor locked her keys in the car, while it was running. Thomas was so sweet and called AAA for her and they came out and unlocked her car, and she was able to get to work, late, but there nonetheless. So, this evening, she comes down and says that she's buying us dinner, and she's not taking no for an answer... SWEETNESS!!!! I'm so jazzed about that. She was telling us that she didn't know what she was going to do for dinner, and I said to her, "We're having pizza, what to come down here for dinner?" Tracy just laughed at me. I love our neighbors. We all tend to look out for each other and there is a really great sense that comes from knowing the people who live around you.
I am thinking that I"m going to start my workout challenge earlier than I thought. The reason for this is because in the one that I tried to join, they want me to buy a drink to have every morning and really, I like what I have to drink in the morning. I take fresh fruit, cut dry and freeze it and then pull it out, throw it in the blender with bananas and orange juice. Works well for me, so all I really need to add to that now, is the workout. I have decided to use a workout called Slim in 6. I have used this one before and while, it does get boring with the choice of music, I can plug in my ipod and listen to my workout music instead of the music on this one. It has worked for me many times, but, I have only got to the end of this workout once. So, I want to do this 90 day challenge because I want to finish it! Not to lose weight, or to fit into pants or anything like that, but, I just want to prove to myself that I can finish something that I have started, much like doing this blog :) I am looking forward to doing this. I don't have anyone who will be working out with me, and I refuse to post anything on facebook, but, I will be putting something about it on this blog... and I'm thinking I may be putting better food into my body to help. I think that the side effects of doing the workout may be that I will lose weight and that my pants will get looser on me, but, I just want to finish it.
Those are my thoughts today. I mean, I have other thoughts, but, mostly they are about the politics of our nation and that's a whole other topic for me. I will have to get into my thoughts about gun control and the national deficit and things like that.
For now, it's time for tickling Piper and kissing her little noes.. it's so cute, and soon, dinner time!
Cold and Flu Season
I am sick of feeling shitty from having a cold. I haven't been able to sleep as much as I would like, and I have had to go to work... Let's hope none of my clients will get this same thing. It's cruddy having the crud! Went to bed at 9 last night, it was awesome and amazing! I loved sleeping that much. Got up at 6:30 this morning, got Kelsie out the door, got Piper up and mostly ready, now, I am thinking that I'm going to go back to bed for a little while. Only 4 appointments today, hoping to keep it this way.
Time to get going...
Time to get going...
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Sinus Infection, I think...
It's now Tuesday, and I'm thinking an early bedtime is in order here now... after a nice hot shower. I can't seem to type worth a shit tonight. Every other word has some sort of mess up and then I have to reach for the backspace button, and really, it's just taking too long to even type out like three lines... UGH!! Maybe it's because I'm sitting on the other side of the table tonight.
I think, I may have some sort of sinus infection. Sinus cavity would be greatly relieved if I could just take an ice pick and punch a hole in it... That's not to be taken to literally though. I don't really want to do to myself or others. Just a disclaimer... In driving back from Snowflake tonight, my ears would not pop at all. They are hurting quite a bit and it's been an hour since I got home. I am really going to enjoy taking a nice hot shower and then going to bed. I don't think that Thomas is feeling very good either though.
The past three years, my car has failed to start at the first really cold day. And then it sat there for three months, waiting for some part of the fuel system to get fixed. It was doing so good this year. I was so happy with it, and so grateful for it everyday! This morning, Thomas goes out to start my car, and it won't start. And it won't start for the rest of the day. Now, I'm starting to get a lot upset about this. How can this happen yet again? I am just going to have to fix it, and then, sell it I guess. It seems that no one else who has this same kind of car has this problem. I don't get it really. But at this point, I don't care. It;s paid for, and that's the bitch of it. For an entire year, it's been paid off and I have been loving that part of it. NO CAR PAYMENTS!!! It's such a great feeling. But, now, I;m hoping to get enough money to be able to replace it with something that is older and more miles. Thomas wants to get a Jeep, I don't know. Then i will be stuck driving his car, and I'm not the biggest fan of his car. I guess time will tell what's going to happen... I will keep this updated though.
Every time I yawn, which is getting more and more frequent now, I hope that my ear will pop, still nothing... grrrr... I have tried to blow my noes, there is only so much snot that can come out... and blowing it too hard will just end up blowing it out and then where will I be besides hurting and whining even more. And who really wants to hear that? :)
Tomorrow I am going to go to my sisters house and get my workout DVD back from her... I really just want to get it started. Not because I think that I am going to get a head start, but, because, I am feeling every bit of my 180 lbs today. I have to look at myself in the mirror and I think that even if it's just a small change for the next couple of days/weeks/months, smaller is better than nothing. And, I feel really good when I work out. I am going to have to really be disciplined about this. I may have to do it in the mornings and get up early and do it. I do like having that time in the morning to myself. No one watching you, no one talking to you, just you and your workout and sweat, and the bird, of course. It's a relaxing and energizing way to do it... and then, at the end of the day, maybe do the sit up routine that's 15 minutes to help get a flatter stomach. I just want to look good naked and fit into my other pants, the ones that I love and haven't worn in a year, because I can't fit into them right. I want to be the woman I know is in this body trying to get out... I want to be the best me that I can be.
My ears hurt... Time to go get Piper into bed now, and then to shower. Should be a relatively quite evening. Kelsie is out to the movies with some friends, Piper in bed, Thomas is playing video games in the bedroom and when I'm done here, he will take up my spot on the computer for a while. I will be asleep long before he ever gets close to being done checking his email. I feel like I'm rambling now, I'm off for the land of dreams and sleep... Good night world!
I think, I may have some sort of sinus infection. Sinus cavity would be greatly relieved if I could just take an ice pick and punch a hole in it... That's not to be taken to literally though. I don't really want to do to myself or others. Just a disclaimer... In driving back from Snowflake tonight, my ears would not pop at all. They are hurting quite a bit and it's been an hour since I got home. I am really going to enjoy taking a nice hot shower and then going to bed. I don't think that Thomas is feeling very good either though.
The past three years, my car has failed to start at the first really cold day. And then it sat there for three months, waiting for some part of the fuel system to get fixed. It was doing so good this year. I was so happy with it, and so grateful for it everyday! This morning, Thomas goes out to start my car, and it won't start. And it won't start for the rest of the day. Now, I'm starting to get a lot upset about this. How can this happen yet again? I am just going to have to fix it, and then, sell it I guess. It seems that no one else who has this same kind of car has this problem. I don't get it really. But at this point, I don't care. It;s paid for, and that's the bitch of it. For an entire year, it's been paid off and I have been loving that part of it. NO CAR PAYMENTS!!! It's such a great feeling. But, now, I;m hoping to get enough money to be able to replace it with something that is older and more miles. Thomas wants to get a Jeep, I don't know. Then i will be stuck driving his car, and I'm not the biggest fan of his car. I guess time will tell what's going to happen... I will keep this updated though.
Every time I yawn, which is getting more and more frequent now, I hope that my ear will pop, still nothing... grrrr... I have tried to blow my noes, there is only so much snot that can come out... and blowing it too hard will just end up blowing it out and then where will I be besides hurting and whining even more. And who really wants to hear that? :)
Tomorrow I am going to go to my sisters house and get my workout DVD back from her... I really just want to get it started. Not because I think that I am going to get a head start, but, because, I am feeling every bit of my 180 lbs today. I have to look at myself in the mirror and I think that even if it's just a small change for the next couple of days/weeks/months, smaller is better than nothing. And, I feel really good when I work out. I am going to have to really be disciplined about this. I may have to do it in the mornings and get up early and do it. I do like having that time in the morning to myself. No one watching you, no one talking to you, just you and your workout and sweat, and the bird, of course. It's a relaxing and energizing way to do it... and then, at the end of the day, maybe do the sit up routine that's 15 minutes to help get a flatter stomach. I just want to look good naked and fit into my other pants, the ones that I love and haven't worn in a year, because I can't fit into them right. I want to be the woman I know is in this body trying to get out... I want to be the best me that I can be.
My ears hurt... Time to go get Piper into bed now, and then to shower. Should be a relatively quite evening. Kelsie is out to the movies with some friends, Piper in bed, Thomas is playing video games in the bedroom and when I'm done here, he will take up my spot on the computer for a while. I will be asleep long before he ever gets close to being done checking his email. I feel like I'm rambling now, I'm off for the land of dreams and sleep... Good night world!
Monday, January 14, 2013
Mondays.....
I have come to the conclusion that there really should be a day between Saturday and Sunday. I think we should all have three or four day work weeks and take long vacations every other month... Yeah, that's not going to happen in this country while I'm alive!
So, it's Monday and for work I had like 5 appointments today. I was super jazzed, though I didn't feel the greatest. Out of those I had three people cancel on me. Two of which did reschedule for later this week, and the other one is just not able to make it again... which makes me sad, she could so use a massage. I was glad that I got out of the rest of them. I have been trying to kick the crud and today, I'm so stuffed up. I hate that. It totally sucks when you're getting a massage and the therapist has a cold and you can hear them breathing... UGH! I have been taking good stuff to kick it though, and so by tomorrow, I'm sure I will be much better than today. Plus, I intend on going to bed very early and not really care about doing anything else.
Piper is busy doing her homework right now. We have finished working on spelling, those words like match and patch and catch are kind of hard when you don't hear the 't' in it. She's so good at working hard at her homework though. Finished with math and now, she's got to draw a picture of "How would you explore the world?" This should be very interesting to see what she comes up with.
I didn't know what it meant to be a good parent until I had a child. Even more difficult than that, was to become a parent figure to someone else's child. I now have to be responsible and give good advise instead of saying things like, If you were going to go U/A, I would have just stayed gone until we pulled out. That way, you still have to go to NJP, but, at least you get to have the full time in port... Classic Julie style kind of advise. Not the best for sure, but, at that time, I was a kid and talking to another kid. I have to say no when I really don't want to, and I have to tell someone that I love so much that you're not being realistic here... Stop living in teenage fantasy land! Life if unfair, get used to it now... And it's funny because I don't consider myself to be the harsher parent, it's really hard when I get a shitty text message saying that it's not fair, and you guys have already made up your minds, so now I have to just go with it and make this whole ordeal go smoother...
Now, let's back up ten yards and punt here... Ordeal? Really? You think that living here is some sort of "ordeal" that is the worst thing to have ever happened and that hopefully you will make it out alive or something... this isn't war or the military. I am amazed at how much leeway one is given and then they want to treat you like some sort of doormat... I will preserver though. I am tougher and can outlast any spoiled teenager who seems to think that her social life is of the utmost importance to me... bwahahahahahahaha... we shall see.
I find that the hardest part of being a parent, is knowing when to be the parent and not the friend. I mean sure, we all want to be friends with our kids, I mean, for the most part, our kids are the best parts of us and we see the best of them. We want nothing more than for them to succeed and be happy. But, we also know that in order to be successful, at some point, you are going to have to fail. Everyone falls when they are trying to learn to walk. And life, is a journey, so of course, we are going to fall. It's not about the times that we fail, or have bad shit happen, because it's going to happen... Shit Happens, right :) It's about how we dust ourselves off and reinvent ourselves. I know that it's happened to me, and I am a whole lot happier than I ever thought was possible... but I still had to go through my own shit to get through to the other side and see that, while there are some clouds, there is always a lining there, and it shines and if we can look towards that, we will at least have some hope.
I have a special love and respect for my parents. They had to go through stuff as parents and as people and I would like to think that they have evolved as people as well.
Which brings me to another thought on parents... I have had a sorted past of small proportions and while, I don't remember a lot of my early 20's, do I tell my daughter that I did things like that? When she asks, and I'm sure she will, did I ever use drugs or abuse alcohol or have meaningless one night stands, do I tell her the truth? Hmmmmm..... tricky, very tricky here. Does it make me a better parent if I hid the past from her, or does it make me less approachable as a parent? What if she is having problems and wants to ask me, but thinks that I have never done anything like that, so naturally, I wouldn't be able to relate to her and the issues she is having....... It's a toughie for sure!
And of course, if you ask Thomas, he just says that he's never failed... he just had certain goings on that have come about... dork! :) Love him anyway, he makes me laugh. Being a parent isn't easy, nor is it for the faint of heart, but, it's so rewarding for me to have that small person grow inside of you, and then, all of the sudden they are here and 6 years old, going on 26, or something close to that.
Anywho, I'm tired and feel crappy, going to go to bed early and relax... and sleep and dream of sugarplum fairies that dance in my head... or water beds and oils and other things like that :)
So, it's Monday and for work I had like 5 appointments today. I was super jazzed, though I didn't feel the greatest. Out of those I had three people cancel on me. Two of which did reschedule for later this week, and the other one is just not able to make it again... which makes me sad, she could so use a massage. I was glad that I got out of the rest of them. I have been trying to kick the crud and today, I'm so stuffed up. I hate that. It totally sucks when you're getting a massage and the therapist has a cold and you can hear them breathing... UGH! I have been taking good stuff to kick it though, and so by tomorrow, I'm sure I will be much better than today. Plus, I intend on going to bed very early and not really care about doing anything else.
Piper is busy doing her homework right now. We have finished working on spelling, those words like match and patch and catch are kind of hard when you don't hear the 't' in it. She's so good at working hard at her homework though. Finished with math and now, she's got to draw a picture of "How would you explore the world?" This should be very interesting to see what she comes up with.
I didn't know what it meant to be a good parent until I had a child. Even more difficult than that, was to become a parent figure to someone else's child. I now have to be responsible and give good advise instead of saying things like, If you were going to go U/A, I would have just stayed gone until we pulled out. That way, you still have to go to NJP, but, at least you get to have the full time in port... Classic Julie style kind of advise. Not the best for sure, but, at that time, I was a kid and talking to another kid. I have to say no when I really don't want to, and I have to tell someone that I love so much that you're not being realistic here... Stop living in teenage fantasy land! Life if unfair, get used to it now... And it's funny because I don't consider myself to be the harsher parent, it's really hard when I get a shitty text message saying that it's not fair, and you guys have already made up your minds, so now I have to just go with it and make this whole ordeal go smoother...
Now, let's back up ten yards and punt here... Ordeal? Really? You think that living here is some sort of "ordeal" that is the worst thing to have ever happened and that hopefully you will make it out alive or something... this isn't war or the military. I am amazed at how much leeway one is given and then they want to treat you like some sort of doormat... I will preserver though. I am tougher and can outlast any spoiled teenager who seems to think that her social life is of the utmost importance to me... bwahahahahahahaha... we shall see.
I find that the hardest part of being a parent, is knowing when to be the parent and not the friend. I mean sure, we all want to be friends with our kids, I mean, for the most part, our kids are the best parts of us and we see the best of them. We want nothing more than for them to succeed and be happy. But, we also know that in order to be successful, at some point, you are going to have to fail. Everyone falls when they are trying to learn to walk. And life, is a journey, so of course, we are going to fall. It's not about the times that we fail, or have bad shit happen, because it's going to happen... Shit Happens, right :) It's about how we dust ourselves off and reinvent ourselves. I know that it's happened to me, and I am a whole lot happier than I ever thought was possible... but I still had to go through my own shit to get through to the other side and see that, while there are some clouds, there is always a lining there, and it shines and if we can look towards that, we will at least have some hope.
I have a special love and respect for my parents. They had to go through stuff as parents and as people and I would like to think that they have evolved as people as well.
Which brings me to another thought on parents... I have had a sorted past of small proportions and while, I don't remember a lot of my early 20's, do I tell my daughter that I did things like that? When she asks, and I'm sure she will, did I ever use drugs or abuse alcohol or have meaningless one night stands, do I tell her the truth? Hmmmmm..... tricky, very tricky here. Does it make me a better parent if I hid the past from her, or does it make me less approachable as a parent? What if she is having problems and wants to ask me, but thinks that I have never done anything like that, so naturally, I wouldn't be able to relate to her and the issues she is having....... It's a toughie for sure!
And of course, if you ask Thomas, he just says that he's never failed... he just had certain goings on that have come about... dork! :) Love him anyway, he makes me laugh. Being a parent isn't easy, nor is it for the faint of heart, but, it's so rewarding for me to have that small person grow inside of you, and then, all of the sudden they are here and 6 years old, going on 26, or something close to that.
Anywho, I'm tired and feel crappy, going to go to bed early and relax... and sleep and dream of sugarplum fairies that dance in my head... or water beds and oils and other things like that :)
Sunday, January 13, 2013
The Inspiration
For those that know me well, it's been a fact, for some time, that I love the movie Bridget Jones' Diary. In fact, I relate to this woman, make believe as she is, in a very strange way. While watching it, once again, this past Friday night, it gave me an idea, more like, an inspiration. So in classic Bridget Jones style, I have decided to tell the truth about Julie Wood, the whole truth.
Height 5'3"
Weight 180 lbs
Alcohol units, not enough for sure
Cigarettes, none
Boyfriend, Thomas
Children/Stepchildren 2, Kelsie and Piper
Home, Rent
Financial status, not great, yet
Job, Massage Therapist
So there you have it.. my life in a nutshell, as least a few parts of it. And for the most part, I am so happy that I think it's truly unfair to share with people because some others have it so much worse than I do. I have a love that a few years ago, I would not have even dreamed possible. I have an amazing girls that are so wonderful in so many ways, I am lucky that they have chosen me in their lives. I have a job that I went to school and studied for. I am good at what I do! I love my job!! I love being able to drive to work everyday, that 25 minutes of time to myself is so nice. It helps me to focus and think of anything I want. I relax a lot too, unless it's icy out, in which case, I just turn up the music and grip the steering wheel a little tighter, and sing.
There are the things that I would like to work on about myself, because as the old saying goes, "you are perfect just the way you are. You could use a little improvement." I can't find where I saw it, but, I know it was by someone good. So, with that in mind, I thought that if I could put my intentions for my own improvements, that maybe, someone, somewhere would be able to help hold me accountable to these improvements that I would like to make.
Improvements:
1. To say nice things about myself. I have a tendency to say that I'm the fat one, or the chunky one, or the one who is or isn't a certain way. I am a Beautiful, Strong, Smart Woman. I can do anything that I set my mind to.
2. To be my own model. I see these pictures of women who are super skinny and tattooed and wish that I would could be like that. I need to embrace that way that I am RIGHT NOW, instead of the way that I wish I could be. I have curves, and I have stretch marks, and I have some pretty little feet. I am the way that I am, and I am going to love it... Every minute of it.
3. To accept a workout challenge and to stick with it to the end of the challenge. I have accepted a 90 day challenge to workout with my favorite Beachbody workout, which is, Slim in 6, and I want to make it the full 90 days. It starts on February 4th. Even if I have to skip or miss a day or two for whatever reason, I want to finish it and see what I can do! My only goal for it, is to finish it and see what it's going to look like on the other side of those 90 days.
4. Do the dishes more than what I do. Thomas does them for the most part and I love that he does, but, I think I should be doing more of the housework. The dishes, I can handle. Cleaning the bathroom, not so much.
5. To let Thomas take over the household financial responsibilities. I have done this for two plus years now, and I think I can let him take a turn on it. I guess we will see how that goes :)
6. To write. A lot. About my day, and my intentions, the daily struggle, the daily grind, and how I am doing at working on my own improvements. I used to keep a journal when I was married, and after reading how much we used to fight all the time, I decided that I didn't want to have a relationship like that again, but, I wanted to write. And then, I got rid of all of them. I wanted to clean out my negative writing and start a new. So, this is, in my own way, a journal or diary of my life.
I am a bit of a nut job I think, but, being a female, I am pretty crazy by nature. I have a slightly skewed vision of what I think, but, it's OK, because, for the most part, I love the way that I am. My life is rich. I have a beautiful home, family, career. I have love and happiness and I am blessed in every way. Really, the only thing that I would like to have more of, is the money that goes with being rich. But, I have been working on that one :)
So there you have it. My life and my improvements. I am a lucky woman... and I get to share my journey with you now... it's going to be an amazing, wonderful, richly great year!!!
Keep in mind, life always has it's ups and downs and I'm sure that I will have mine, but, I try to keep a smile on my face, and think happy thoughts... I'm a realist, I expect miracles!!! They happen everyday.
Height 5'3"
Weight 180 lbs
Alcohol units, not enough for sure
Cigarettes, none
Boyfriend, Thomas
Children/Stepchildren 2, Kelsie and Piper
Home, Rent
Financial status, not great, yet
Job, Massage Therapist
So there you have it.. my life in a nutshell, as least a few parts of it. And for the most part, I am so happy that I think it's truly unfair to share with people because some others have it so much worse than I do. I have a love that a few years ago, I would not have even dreamed possible. I have an amazing girls that are so wonderful in so many ways, I am lucky that they have chosen me in their lives. I have a job that I went to school and studied for. I am good at what I do! I love my job!! I love being able to drive to work everyday, that 25 minutes of time to myself is so nice. It helps me to focus and think of anything I want. I relax a lot too, unless it's icy out, in which case, I just turn up the music and grip the steering wheel a little tighter, and sing.
There are the things that I would like to work on about myself, because as the old saying goes, "you are perfect just the way you are. You could use a little improvement." I can't find where I saw it, but, I know it was by someone good. So, with that in mind, I thought that if I could put my intentions for my own improvements, that maybe, someone, somewhere would be able to help hold me accountable to these improvements that I would like to make.
Improvements:
1. To say nice things about myself. I have a tendency to say that I'm the fat one, or the chunky one, or the one who is or isn't a certain way. I am a Beautiful, Strong, Smart Woman. I can do anything that I set my mind to.
2. To be my own model. I see these pictures of women who are super skinny and tattooed and wish that I would could be like that. I need to embrace that way that I am RIGHT NOW, instead of the way that I wish I could be. I have curves, and I have stretch marks, and I have some pretty little feet. I am the way that I am, and I am going to love it... Every minute of it.
3. To accept a workout challenge and to stick with it to the end of the challenge. I have accepted a 90 day challenge to workout with my favorite Beachbody workout, which is, Slim in 6, and I want to make it the full 90 days. It starts on February 4th. Even if I have to skip or miss a day or two for whatever reason, I want to finish it and see what I can do! My only goal for it, is to finish it and see what it's going to look like on the other side of those 90 days.
4. Do the dishes more than what I do. Thomas does them for the most part and I love that he does, but, I think I should be doing more of the housework. The dishes, I can handle. Cleaning the bathroom, not so much.
5. To let Thomas take over the household financial responsibilities. I have done this for two plus years now, and I think I can let him take a turn on it. I guess we will see how that goes :)
6. To write. A lot. About my day, and my intentions, the daily struggle, the daily grind, and how I am doing at working on my own improvements. I used to keep a journal when I was married, and after reading how much we used to fight all the time, I decided that I didn't want to have a relationship like that again, but, I wanted to write. And then, I got rid of all of them. I wanted to clean out my negative writing and start a new. So, this is, in my own way, a journal or diary of my life.
I am a bit of a nut job I think, but, being a female, I am pretty crazy by nature. I have a slightly skewed vision of what I think, but, it's OK, because, for the most part, I love the way that I am. My life is rich. I have a beautiful home, family, career. I have love and happiness and I am blessed in every way. Really, the only thing that I would like to have more of, is the money that goes with being rich. But, I have been working on that one :)
So there you have it. My life and my improvements. I am a lucky woman... and I get to share my journey with you now... it's going to be an amazing, wonderful, richly great year!!!
Keep in mind, life always has it's ups and downs and I'm sure that I will have mine, but, I try to keep a smile on my face, and think happy thoughts... I'm a realist, I expect miracles!!! They happen everyday.
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