The college up here on the mountain has been in business since the 70's. I hate to say it but it is the only option for those who live on the mountain if they want to have the actual community college experience. Not that I think it's all bad, but like so many other places on this mountain, they have the mentality that seems to run rampant through this mountain. The whole idea that we are the only ones up here and if you don't like it, tough, where else are you going to go? I don't like that it happens up here as much as it does, but, at this point I am unsure how to continue.
I have seen a lot of people who, in their efforts to give a professional courtesy, they seem to not be objective and fail to actually help when they can because of some unwritten code that they are bound to. I know that if there were only upstanding good moral officers in our communities, there would be no need to have internal affairs. Yet, we need these people in these offices not because people are bad, but because they are people. They see an opportunity and they take it. They seize what they can to make themselves better off. No, this does not make them bad, it just means they are people.
Recently, I have, sadly had to encounter this at our local college with a teacher and an academic advisor. Let me explain. Kelsie took three classes with the college to go with her schooling for high school. I was proud of her. She worked her butt off doing research and getting as much as done as she did. She was on it. For her English 101 class, she had to do a research paper, as all have to do one for this class. She had me proof read it and we went over all of the things that the teacher had suggested she do. She had all the in-text citations, all of the information everything and turned it in. Her teacher refused to grade the paper. At first it was because she didn't use the correct format, saying it wasn't in MLA 2009 format. Then, after we talked to her about it, she said that it was because there was no works cited page. After that, she said that it was because she doesn't give partial credit. Wow, make up your mind will you!!!
We contested this of course, which was to start with, asking the teacher to reconsider her decision to not grade the paper. She said no. The next step was to go to an academic advisor and have them mediate this so both parties can come to a mutual decision. The advisor looked at what was done and tried to help... for about 10 minutes, then, deferred to professional courtesy and we were told that the teacher will not budge and we have to take it to the next step. At this point, we, Kelsie, Thomas and I, had been looking and looking for the rubric for the paper, so I know how it is to be graded. For almost two weeks we go back and forth on it, and finally, there is to be a meeting between all parties and the Dean. They go in, Thomas and Kelsie, I had to work, and from the moment they walked in, they were never going to change their minds. They simply thought that no matter what, this teacher was correct and nothing was going to change their minds. Obviously, we lost the case and while there was the option to go further, Kelsie decided to not take it further.
We all make mistakes when first learning about life. We all make mistakes when learning about school. What made me so angry was not that they refused to change their minds, it was that it she wasn't teaching in the first place. If you tell me that I have to do something a certain way, I will do my best to follow it, to the best of my abilities, especially when my high school graduation is riding on it. But if you tell me that I just need to go look it up and forget that when we have students who are trying to find their ways by doing concurrent schooling, that these young people may need a bit of extra help, because, let's face it, they are young, that's where we have a failure on our part. There are moments when Kelsie would say something to me and I almost made a smart ass comment, but, I stopped and remembered that she's just a kid, and she's still learning and I need to be mindful of her being young. Doesn't mean that I think she should be treated any differently, but, if I see that she may be needing help, then at least offer it to her.
I read the emails that this teacher had back and forth with her... I was appalled by this woman's blatant disregard for anyone who didn't understand what was going on. She wasn't trying to be a smartass when asking questions, she just didn't get something and to be treated so poorly someone who called themselves an educator, was simply unacceptable, in every way.
Perhaps we should get back to the whole idea that these kids are just that, kids. They are there willingly (obviously, otherwise they wouldn't be paying for it) and they want to learn. Let's make it a point, nay, our job, to help these kids learn what they are there to learn and understand. Did we learn something from this, yes we did. Did we get a better understanding of the proper format for a research paper, I would have to say yes to that as well. Did we learn that professional courtesy is alive and well and not always for the benefit of the non-professional, oh yeah! It made me sick to my stomach to see what happened. I was so angry with this woman for being a rude bitch most of the time. I was mostly disappointed that once again, in our little town, if you're the only kind of your business, then it doesn't matter how bad the service is. They are the only one, so where else will you go?
I have since learned that not all teachers are like that, duh! But how can you spot them on a piece of paper when signing up for classes? How do you know that the person you are trusting to teach you whatever, isn't going to say, go look it up and just leave you to your own devices? I'm all for online classes, but, I am still of the mindset that seeing a person face to face in a classroom, for me at least, is the best and easiest way to do it. How else can I stay after class and ask questions? I don't know... maybe I'm old fashioned like that... anyhow, later kids... Peace
Monday, July 28, 2014
Monday, July 21, 2014
Sense of entitlement
The last two months I have been very sad that I have not been able to write nearly as much as I would like to. I have had the privilege to be a part of two young ladies lives for the past five to seven years, depending on the girl. Both of them are wonderful girls, I love them both dearly and hope that as long as I'm alive, I am able to be a part of their lives. However, that being said, I don't understand what they are doing or why they think they have this sense of entitlement about them. I want something so if you don't give it to me I am going to throw a 7 year old size tantrum in the middle of the store. I don't get it.
Girl 1.
Lives with her dad. Smart, funny, likes to laugh, so much fun to be around. Hates herself. Can't understand why she doesn't have a boyfriend, yet, wants nothing to do with males at this time. (I don't blame her, she's had a rough time with them.). I should add here that I dearly love these two, they are wonderful kids but they have no clue!! Visits her mom every other weekend and every other Christmas. Has a bad trip to the valley, doesn't say anything to her dad before she's gone for the holiday. She texts her dad, but won't call. Then all of the sudden, it's I hate you, I can't live with you anymore, it's just too horrible to deal with! Ok. In my day, my parents would have said suck it up and deal with it! In fact, I tell that to Piper. To get along in this world, you have to be able to deal with the bad as well as the good. Come to find out, the guy she was just starting to date, told her a pack of lies, used her and then, like a boss, broke up over the phone over Christmas. Classy dude! Since then, she can't deal with her dad and so she stays somewhere safe but not home. Breaks her dad's heart, but she goes over there and is seemingly trying to make it better between them. I can't hate that, but boy, thinking about this makes me incredibly angry. In fact I was steaming mad over it, but I hold my tongue. Her dad has sole custody and has rules and won't give in to her every whim, and she knows this. It was part of why she liked living there, there are rules and she knows that if she follows them, she gets her freedom so long as she does her part of the household chores. Guess the other one doens't make her do shit and she still gets everything she wants, and all of her freedom.
Girl 2.
Again, smart girl, fun to be around, likes to laugh. Lives with mom, didn't know dad until about, 3 years ago. Now dad wants her to be part of his new family. Hasn't seen her in years, but, when he does, it's all about the stuff. I can give you all sorts of stuff and make you love me becasue I can get you stuff where your mom will tell you no. She got into an argument with mom and it ends with her deciding to take off and move out... with three months to go in school. Moves to the Valley with someone she barley knows, but they are so much cooler and nicer and smarter than her mom. Took her a while, but, now, she has seen that there is so much more to being a parent than just stuff. She has made up with her mom and is doing a whole lot better. She still knows everything and wants to do it on her own, but, she's talking to her mom and making an effort. She will be finishing high school, has a job, is really trying to make her life something she can be proud of. I am glad that things are working out for her...Gives me hope for the other one.
Girl 3.
This one is a fun one. She's a sweet kid, just turned 18, has a great smile, wants to be a good mom (yes, she's had a kid, who was actually born just after her 18th birthday), tries to get things together. Was with baby's dad... Was living with her dad and her stepmom (her mom passed away when she was very young and dad has been doing it all himself since then) and then all of the sudden, she's done with baby's dad and now is totally into a man who is her dad's age, is actually a good friend of her dad's. She moves in with him. Dad is upset because, that's his daughter and that was his friend. She's totally into this new guy, she thinks life will be great, and then, it's not. She doesn't want to be over there anymore, she's not happy and she is having issues with new man. I told her dad, this horrible thing happens to girls, it's called pride. We are too busy showing you that we know what we're doing that we forget that our parents are people too and that they have feelings that get hurt when the one you love walks all over them. She has since started to come around. Before, she wasn't speaking to her dad, didn't want him to see the baby, didn't want any help. This past week, saw her and baby's dad with her dad smiling and having fun buying wipes for the baby. Baby was spending the night with grandpa, grandpa was very happy, she was looking a whole lot happier than before, and even baby's daddy was happy.
The dilemma with these three girls:
What I don't understand, is how can one grow up knowing what kind of a person their parents are, knowing what's gone on, knowing that one parent is exactly the way the seem to others, while the other parent is just wanting to be a parent to see what they can get out of it, and still think that the one who raised them is the bees knees... I don't understand it, but then, not everything is for me to understand. I am only here to make sure that they know that they are loved by me and help in any way that I can.
It's not fair and what makes me the most angry is that I see this as part of generation of young people who have no clue. They walk through life thinking that if someone doesn't let them do what ever the fuck they want whenever they want, they are going to have a huge meltdown and the whole world is going to collapse. I can't even give them the advise that I have learned the hard way because they think I'm pretty much full of shit. I used to think that my mother was nuts when she told me to think good thoughts, and your perception is reality. I have to say that she was right. Life is exactly what I think it is. If I think it's awesome and wonderful, then it is. If I think that life is this horrible thing and everyone owes me something because (as girl 1 likes to put it) I didn't ask to be born, if you didn't want me then you should have had an abortion (stabbing wound through the heart there). And she goes around acting like the victim in life. It's always someone else's fault for what happened to her. I have told her that bad things happen to people, and while I wish it wasn't the case, there is nothing I can do to fix the past. What you need to do, is look up and see that there is more to life than what happened in the past. Life is a series of moments and when you spend all of those precious moments thinking about how bad things are, that's all your life will ever be.
I want them all to see the beauty of the world without thinking that unless they are handed it on a silver platter then it just doesn't concern them. I want them to know that just because there are bad people out there, it doesn't mean that you have to live your whole life trying to please them. If they don't love you, it's their lose, not yours. There is a whole world, about 7 billion people out there, and I'm sure that there are literally millions of them who would love you and treat you like you are a worthy wonderful girl that they are. I want them to realize their life is not the sum of the bad things that have happened or the evil people who have tried to pollute their minds. It is exactly what you make of it. It could be beautiful and wonderful and the most awesome thing ever, or it could totally suck the happiness out of you. I choose to be happy, I choose to be beautiful, and mostly I choose to enjoy the time that I have here, use it to my benefit, and love... totally and completely my kids, my lover, my family, my friends. I choose joy. That is all for now... Peace
Girl 1.
Lives with her dad. Smart, funny, likes to laugh, so much fun to be around. Hates herself. Can't understand why she doesn't have a boyfriend, yet, wants nothing to do with males at this time. (I don't blame her, she's had a rough time with them.). I should add here that I dearly love these two, they are wonderful kids but they have no clue!! Visits her mom every other weekend and every other Christmas. Has a bad trip to the valley, doesn't say anything to her dad before she's gone for the holiday. She texts her dad, but won't call. Then all of the sudden, it's I hate you, I can't live with you anymore, it's just too horrible to deal with! Ok. In my day, my parents would have said suck it up and deal with it! In fact, I tell that to Piper. To get along in this world, you have to be able to deal with the bad as well as the good. Come to find out, the guy she was just starting to date, told her a pack of lies, used her and then, like a boss, broke up over the phone over Christmas. Classy dude! Since then, she can't deal with her dad and so she stays somewhere safe but not home. Breaks her dad's heart, but she goes over there and is seemingly trying to make it better between them. I can't hate that, but boy, thinking about this makes me incredibly angry. In fact I was steaming mad over it, but I hold my tongue. Her dad has sole custody and has rules and won't give in to her every whim, and she knows this. It was part of why she liked living there, there are rules and she knows that if she follows them, she gets her freedom so long as she does her part of the household chores. Guess the other one doens't make her do shit and she still gets everything she wants, and all of her freedom.
Girl 2.
Again, smart girl, fun to be around, likes to laugh. Lives with mom, didn't know dad until about, 3 years ago. Now dad wants her to be part of his new family. Hasn't seen her in years, but, when he does, it's all about the stuff. I can give you all sorts of stuff and make you love me becasue I can get you stuff where your mom will tell you no. She got into an argument with mom and it ends with her deciding to take off and move out... with three months to go in school. Moves to the Valley with someone she barley knows, but they are so much cooler and nicer and smarter than her mom. Took her a while, but, now, she has seen that there is so much more to being a parent than just stuff. She has made up with her mom and is doing a whole lot better. She still knows everything and wants to do it on her own, but, she's talking to her mom and making an effort. She will be finishing high school, has a job, is really trying to make her life something she can be proud of. I am glad that things are working out for her...Gives me hope for the other one.
Girl 3.
This one is a fun one. She's a sweet kid, just turned 18, has a great smile, wants to be a good mom (yes, she's had a kid, who was actually born just after her 18th birthday), tries to get things together. Was with baby's dad... Was living with her dad and her stepmom (her mom passed away when she was very young and dad has been doing it all himself since then) and then all of the sudden, she's done with baby's dad and now is totally into a man who is her dad's age, is actually a good friend of her dad's. She moves in with him. Dad is upset because, that's his daughter and that was his friend. She's totally into this new guy, she thinks life will be great, and then, it's not. She doesn't want to be over there anymore, she's not happy and she is having issues with new man. I told her dad, this horrible thing happens to girls, it's called pride. We are too busy showing you that we know what we're doing that we forget that our parents are people too and that they have feelings that get hurt when the one you love walks all over them. She has since started to come around. Before, she wasn't speaking to her dad, didn't want him to see the baby, didn't want any help. This past week, saw her and baby's dad with her dad smiling and having fun buying wipes for the baby. Baby was spending the night with grandpa, grandpa was very happy, she was looking a whole lot happier than before, and even baby's daddy was happy.
The dilemma with these three girls:
What I don't understand, is how can one grow up knowing what kind of a person their parents are, knowing what's gone on, knowing that one parent is exactly the way the seem to others, while the other parent is just wanting to be a parent to see what they can get out of it, and still think that the one who raised them is the bees knees... I don't understand it, but then, not everything is for me to understand. I am only here to make sure that they know that they are loved by me and help in any way that I can.
It's not fair and what makes me the most angry is that I see this as part of generation of young people who have no clue. They walk through life thinking that if someone doesn't let them do what ever the fuck they want whenever they want, they are going to have a huge meltdown and the whole world is going to collapse. I can't even give them the advise that I have learned the hard way because they think I'm pretty much full of shit. I used to think that my mother was nuts when she told me to think good thoughts, and your perception is reality. I have to say that she was right. Life is exactly what I think it is. If I think it's awesome and wonderful, then it is. If I think that life is this horrible thing and everyone owes me something because (as girl 1 likes to put it) I didn't ask to be born, if you didn't want me then you should have had an abortion (stabbing wound through the heart there). And she goes around acting like the victim in life. It's always someone else's fault for what happened to her. I have told her that bad things happen to people, and while I wish it wasn't the case, there is nothing I can do to fix the past. What you need to do, is look up and see that there is more to life than what happened in the past. Life is a series of moments and when you spend all of those precious moments thinking about how bad things are, that's all your life will ever be.
I want them all to see the beauty of the world without thinking that unless they are handed it on a silver platter then it just doesn't concern them. I want them to know that just because there are bad people out there, it doesn't mean that you have to live your whole life trying to please them. If they don't love you, it's their lose, not yours. There is a whole world, about 7 billion people out there, and I'm sure that there are literally millions of them who would love you and treat you like you are a worthy wonderful girl that they are. I want them to realize their life is not the sum of the bad things that have happened or the evil people who have tried to pollute their minds. It is exactly what you make of it. It could be beautiful and wonderful and the most awesome thing ever, or it could totally suck the happiness out of you. I choose to be happy, I choose to be beautiful, and mostly I choose to enjoy the time that I have here, use it to my benefit, and love... totally and completely my kids, my lover, my family, my friends. I choose joy. That is all for now... Peace
Thursday, July 3, 2014
Monday's Ruling
Please forgive the spelling on this one, I have yet to figure out how to use spellcheck on this computer. Mine used to do it automatically... I miss my computer.
I don't have the internet at home, and I don't have cable. I usually watch movies, play video games (on the PS 2) and spend time hanging out with the family. While on Facebook this week, I saw something that was so disturbing for me, I just wanted to move out of this country.
I saw that the United States Supreme Court, the highest court in our country, said that it's ok for small businesses to not provide women with birth control if it goes against their very high standards of their religion. WHAT??? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???!!! Since when is any corporation in the right by telling any female what kind of contraception is acceptable for their use? I have this belief that the highest form of government is made up mostly of men who still want to keep all the women in our county under their thumbs. We are suppose to be barefoot, pregnant, in the kitchen, right? I mean, hell, isn't that what every woman dreams of? Or is it closer to a nightmare kind of thing? I know for me it is. I can handle the barefoot and in the kitchen, but, whoa.
So let me tell you about what planned parenthood is really all about, because it seems to me that many out there think that it's only abortions and that, that is immoral and illegal and should be stopped at all cost. Planned parenthood is about being smart about your future. If you are a young woman, who, isn't in any committed relationship, because believe it or not, there are women out there who don't want to be with anyone, this is a way of ensuring they don't get pregnant when they are not ready for kids. Birth control is a smart and responsible thing to do when you know that you're not ready for it. By saying that it goes against gods law, well, let's just say that, this isn't the dark ages and we are not fucking cavemen. We are smart society (not all of us, but, let's just say for the benefit of the doubt that we are), with different opportunities than that of ancient Rome. Women are leaders of nations now days, with the option to have a family or not. To have a relationship with any person they chose or not. To get married, or not. To live the whole of their lives depending only on themselves for everything that they need. There is no, you have to get married or you will have to go be a nun at a temple. There is no you have to only take care of a man or you will be an outcast. We are living in the 21st century for fuck's sake and half of my country are living their lives according to a book that was written for the time, which was just about 2000 years ago. Wow, are you that blind to not see that times have changed since then?
Back to the topic... Planned parenthood is for all people, young couples who don't want to have kids, because believe it or not, there are people out there like that. Young women who don't want to have any relationship right now, but, don't mind going out and taking care of some needs. They don't want to have kids, they want to live and have fun and not worry about having to take care of anyone else, other than their spouse or themselves. And there is nothing wrong with that. Not a single thing!! We live in a country where it is ok to have more than one child, in fact, we live in a country where it's ok to broadcast teenagers getting pregnant and it's so cool to have a kid at 16. We live in a country where choices are made everyday that will effect the whole of the women in this country and no one seems to be seeing this.. Well, not no one, there are many who see this as a huge step backwards for women. Even my mother was just disgusted with this. And I don't blame her at all. I just don't see how this happened.
I have seen a lot of women saying that it's so wrong to have an abortion and that it's not fair to kill an unborn child and yet, they say because this is killing and the bible clearly says that we shouldn't kill. Do these same women know that the bible also says that if a woman is divorced from her husband, we should stone her to death... my guess is no. I have seen them say, "I just don't understand why anyone would do that." And here's the thing, it's not for you to understand someone else's journey in this life. It's for them to understand, it's for you to accept and respect their decision and choice they made for themselves. If it was for you to understand, we would all go through the exact same thing and no one would ever have anything else happen to them and we would all be Stepford wives. How fun would that be?
My opinion is really that the men in this country are still trying to keep women under their thumbs, to keep us barefoot, pregnant, in the kitchen and to ensure that they stay in power. I have news for you men, it's not going to happen. I think that the grand ole party just lost the presidential race and I think women are going to be a lot more angry with the politicians this time around.
After all the things that we as women have fought for in the country, after all the women who have came before us have died trying to get their rights, our lives are still not our own. I don't think I'm off base here, and if you think differently than I do, right on. That's what was great about where we live. But, it's slipped the soily edges of the earth and if I was female and lived anywhere else in the world, the United States is now last on my list of anywhere I would want to live. How sad it's become. That is all for now. Peace
I don't have the internet at home, and I don't have cable. I usually watch movies, play video games (on the PS 2) and spend time hanging out with the family. While on Facebook this week, I saw something that was so disturbing for me, I just wanted to move out of this country.
I saw that the United States Supreme Court, the highest court in our country, said that it's ok for small businesses to not provide women with birth control if it goes against their very high standards of their religion. WHAT??? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???!!! Since when is any corporation in the right by telling any female what kind of contraception is acceptable for their use? I have this belief that the highest form of government is made up mostly of men who still want to keep all the women in our county under their thumbs. We are suppose to be barefoot, pregnant, in the kitchen, right? I mean, hell, isn't that what every woman dreams of? Or is it closer to a nightmare kind of thing? I know for me it is. I can handle the barefoot and in the kitchen, but, whoa.
So let me tell you about what planned parenthood is really all about, because it seems to me that many out there think that it's only abortions and that, that is immoral and illegal and should be stopped at all cost. Planned parenthood is about being smart about your future. If you are a young woman, who, isn't in any committed relationship, because believe it or not, there are women out there who don't want to be with anyone, this is a way of ensuring they don't get pregnant when they are not ready for kids. Birth control is a smart and responsible thing to do when you know that you're not ready for it. By saying that it goes against gods law, well, let's just say that, this isn't the dark ages and we are not fucking cavemen. We are smart society (not all of us, but, let's just say for the benefit of the doubt that we are), with different opportunities than that of ancient Rome. Women are leaders of nations now days, with the option to have a family or not. To have a relationship with any person they chose or not. To get married, or not. To live the whole of their lives depending only on themselves for everything that they need. There is no, you have to get married or you will have to go be a nun at a temple. There is no you have to only take care of a man or you will be an outcast. We are living in the 21st century for fuck's sake and half of my country are living their lives according to a book that was written for the time, which was just about 2000 years ago. Wow, are you that blind to not see that times have changed since then?
Back to the topic... Planned parenthood is for all people, young couples who don't want to have kids, because believe it or not, there are people out there like that. Young women who don't want to have any relationship right now, but, don't mind going out and taking care of some needs. They don't want to have kids, they want to live and have fun and not worry about having to take care of anyone else, other than their spouse or themselves. And there is nothing wrong with that. Not a single thing!! We live in a country where it is ok to have more than one child, in fact, we live in a country where it's ok to broadcast teenagers getting pregnant and it's so cool to have a kid at 16. We live in a country where choices are made everyday that will effect the whole of the women in this country and no one seems to be seeing this.. Well, not no one, there are many who see this as a huge step backwards for women. Even my mother was just disgusted with this. And I don't blame her at all. I just don't see how this happened.
I have seen a lot of women saying that it's so wrong to have an abortion and that it's not fair to kill an unborn child and yet, they say because this is killing and the bible clearly says that we shouldn't kill. Do these same women know that the bible also says that if a woman is divorced from her husband, we should stone her to death... my guess is no. I have seen them say, "I just don't understand why anyone would do that." And here's the thing, it's not for you to understand someone else's journey in this life. It's for them to understand, it's for you to accept and respect their decision and choice they made for themselves. If it was for you to understand, we would all go through the exact same thing and no one would ever have anything else happen to them and we would all be Stepford wives. How fun would that be?
My opinion is really that the men in this country are still trying to keep women under their thumbs, to keep us barefoot, pregnant, in the kitchen and to ensure that they stay in power. I have news for you men, it's not going to happen. I think that the grand ole party just lost the presidential race and I think women are going to be a lot more angry with the politicians this time around.
After all the things that we as women have fought for in the country, after all the women who have came before us have died trying to get their rights, our lives are still not our own. I don't think I'm off base here, and if you think differently than I do, right on. That's what was great about where we live. But, it's slipped the soily edges of the earth and if I was female and lived anywhere else in the world, the United States is now last on my list of anywhere I would want to live. How sad it's become. That is all for now. Peace
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