This afternoon, while talking about the Amnesty Bill, Thomas and I started to talk about some of the things that are going so completely wrong in our country, and trust me, there are quite a few that I think are important to go over.
Not that I want to talk about immigration but, here's the deal with it, I think that what they are trying to do is somewhat understandable, however here's what I think. If you come to our country legally and are going through all the channels to become a citizen, it shouldn't take more than a decade to become a citizen. If you come here legally and want to work, and not become a citizen (because believe it or not, there are people out there who don't want to give up their citizenship to their home country), then I have no problem with that, so long as they are not committing violent crimes, because, I understand sometimes we get traffic tickets.
But think about it. Where did we go wrong? In an age of technology and the Internet, social media and some of the things that you hear, I can't help but feel sorry for my daughter. She will never have that feeling of fear as she passes a note in class. She will never get to answer a family phone, or have her dad answer it, "It's your nickel". She won't ever have to go through the joys of being able to pick a phone book, open it to a page, dial a random number and ask if their refrigerator is running. And why?
Because of cell phones, and caller ID. We live in an age where we let women pump out kids, get paid and they never have to work, but the mother who is trying so hard to make it, can't get into Section 8 housing because she makes too much money, yet, she can't afford to pay rent somewhere else, nor is she able to get help with food or medical because according to the state, making $9.09 an hour at 30 hours a week, is simply too much, and we can't help you.
We live in an age where the big businesses of our time are the most greedy they have ever been. They tell us that it's illegal to use a plant, a natural substance found in nature to help cure and treat dis-ease in the body, but, they can tell us it's OK that they are allowed to poison our food. Not only that, you can no longer buy seeds that you can plant, use the seeds from the food that grows to replant more seeds. WOW! Way to go technology.
We live in a time where it's now the schools and churches job to teach our kids right from wrong and what is and is not acceptable human behavior. It's not their job, it's ours, as parents. We seem to be so stuck in our own lives that we have forgotten that we made these little guys, and it's our job to take care of them and teach them right from wrong. It's our job to discipline them too. But, no, we can't spank them because it might wrap their little personalities. Have you gone to dinner one night and there is a kid who is so out of control you are about to be the responsible one and take that kid outside and set them straight, but, the parents will just continue to eat, like it's not their problem?
We have sooo many who are bullies, but, they are allowed to be. I think the ones who make me the most angry are the kids who are cyber-bullies. What the shit is that? Are there kids out there who are so cowardice that they hide behind a keyboard and use that to taunt others? They really have no balls and can't try to bully these kids face to face like a real man would (or woman for that matter)? Not only that, if you are bullied, you aren't allowed to do anything about it. There is no, let's me after school and take care of this shit anymore... oh no, you will be expelled for doing that. We are no longer allowed to stand up for ourselves against the bullies in life. (This goes for adults too here. If someone is breaking into our home, office, car, and we tell them to stop, and we use force to get them to leave, we are now the ones who are punished for breaking the law. WTF??!) How did this happen? How is it, the ones who need the beating are the ones who are getting away with it.
Think of recent news headlines. The girl in California who killed herself because of the pictures of her on the Internet, the girl in Ohio or Iowa who was super drunk at a party and was rapped by the star players, but, they let them finish out the season because they wanted to win... that's all we have in this town. I understand that we live in a society of social media and everything that we do that is stupid is going to be put out there for the entire world to see, but come on. When did it become OK to stand by and watch this happen? What happened to seeing an injustice and stopping it? When did we stop teaching our kids that it's not OK to act like a fool and do shit like that? We have stopped telling our daughters that going to a party with a dude who is your friend isn't going to turn out the way she wants. We have stopped teaching our sons that it's not OK to rape anyone, no means no. And yes means no if she's too drunk to talk or walk. What happened to common sense?
Some will argue that it started when we took God out of schools. I have to differ, God has nothing to do with it. As long as there are tests in school, there will always be prayer, so let's throw that one out (If you think that god should be in school, then maybe you should be the one to teaches god to your kids... it's still your job, not the school's). Some will say it's when we were no longer able to discipline our kids by using our hands/belts, and I would have to say, that there is difference between abuse and corporal punishment. A good spanking has never done that bad as far as I can see. And trust me, I have had my share of spankings ( I wasn't a bad kid either, but, I did some really stupid things that I got into trouble for). So, I would have to say that it's really our faults. Parents, we have been the ones to fail our kids. Maybe it happened when we wanted to give our kids the things that we didn't have, like a computer. We have now crippled our kids with our warped idea of what a 'good life' looks like.
To me, a 'good life' includes a parent or two or three or four, depending on your situation, and a lot of love. We need to look into their faces and see that they are not to blame here (mostly I'm talking about the ones under age 7 in this case). We, as adults, and sometimes not adults, made the decision to have them, to bring them into the world, our world. We need to look at them and realize they didn't ask to be here, it was our choice, good bad or otherwise, we each made the decision to do that. We gave them life, now, let's give them sometime to live for. We can be the change we want to see in the world. Our kids are not going to die if they don't have the latest iPhone or iPod. The world isn't going to end if they don't have the super cool shoes or if they are subjected to hand-me-downs like the 'poor kids'. And they certainly aren't going to be the laughing stock of school if they don't have the newest game console. We have given them so much, they don't have any idea how to function with out it. Kids aren't told to go outside and play anymore, because it's too hot or it's too cold. Kids have no clue who lives next door to them, because we have become so scared that they might be a nut job. What happened to going trick or treating door to door with a pillow case? Trunk or treat is not what Halloween was about. What happened to having an imagination? Crayons and coloring books and paper. Playing house or school or just learning that TV is NOT the way to entertain your kids. What happened to making them be responsible for their actions. We have to be responsible for them until they are 18, but, we have to teach them what is right and what is wrong.
I have this idea about what I want to teach Piper and Kelsie about life. I want to tell them that sometimes, you're not going to get what you want, in fact, sometimes, life is unfair. Get used to it. More often than not, your boss is going to want you to succeed before you have self-esteem too. Get used to that as well. You're not going to make $50,000 right out of school, so stop expecting it. Sometimes, you will have to just suck it up and deal with life. There are people who are going to try to hurt you, but, there is always your family who loves you, and believe it or not, if you ever need to come home, we are here for you. There are injustices in life and I can't stop that. There are some evil people out there too who are disguised as friends or lovers or bosses and I can't stop that either. But it's also my responsibility to teach her how to cope with life.
For this, I will teach her to value of liking yourself. In fact, the value of loving yourself is so important. It's not narcissistic to love oneself, it's just self love. Here's a question that was asked to me at one point that really determined if I loved myself. Are you lonely when you're alone? If yes, what don't you like about yourself? It took me a long time to be able to be alone with my thoughts and not be unhappy. In fact, I like to be alone sometimes, just so I can figure it all out, with no distractions to get me sidetracked.
I will teach her that if she really wants to find the answers in life, to sit down, close your eyes, breath, and look within yourself. You will hear what you need. It may take a while to get your mind to focus, but, focus on your breath. Inhale love, exhale gratitude. Be kind to nature. The ant is just doing his job, no need to smash his house. That if you love a flower, don't pick it, because it ceases to be what you love. Love things for they way there are. Don't be so concerned with what others think of you, it's none of your business. Find something to be grateful for everyday. Love others. Some may not be nice and some will be your best friend forever, but love them the same. We each have a purpose for our life. It may take you two weeks before you know, others, it could take a lifetime, and that's OK. It's OK to not know what you want to be when you grow up, I still go back and forth on it all the time (I really like the whole roller skating derby diva idea the best though :). Take care of your body. It's the only one that you get, so make sure you are putting only good things into it. If you have to live on a farm and grow your own food, then, that's OK too. Make sure that you move all your muscles everyday, either in some form of working out or stretching. Sing, dance, smile, and love. Sing like no one is listening. Dance like no one is watching. Smile when your world is crashing down all around you. Love... Love is the greatest force on earth. Love can change the world, but, you have to understand, not everyone will love you back, and that's their choice. You may get hurt, in fact, I know you will get hurt. It's part of life. There are things that are going to make you so mad, you literally see red, but don't despair. "We have a saying in India. Everything will be alright in the end, and if it is not yet alright, it is not the end." Words of wisdom there. Trust your gut instinct, it's going to keep you out of trouble. Remember, it's OK to say no, and there is nothing wrong with not wanting to do what your friends want to do. Sit like a lady, a lady doesn't cross her legs. Wearing a tank top and shorts doesn't make you a slut, your actions are what make you. Most importantly, you can change, at any time to be someone better than what you are. You have all the power inside of you, you just have to believe. You can do anything.
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