I have been racking my brain for any sort of memories from my sophomore year in school, but, to no avail. I keep thinking that if I had my year book from that year, I would be able to remember more about it. But, alas, my yearbook is in storage, and I don't think I'm going to be going to storage to pull it out so I can stroll down memory lane.
Once again, I found myself in the band room for class and lunch. I had tried out to be a flag-et, but, after the first practice, I thought better of it and stayed with the band. I still did percussion for marching band, specifically, crash symbols :) It was still mostly fun. Our new drum major was Lucas, and he did good for the most part. He was a good guy and tried really hard. I think the favorite moment that year was when he fell off the box at the start of our halftime show at the state game. We didn't change our routine but once during the season, and I think most of us kind of resented that, a lot. We wanted to do something different, and with our new teacher, Mr. Stephens, that wasn't going to happen. I know that Holly and I got into it a lot more often, but, I can't remember about what, must not have been that important. I wanted to like being in band, but, as luck would have it, I just couldn't find it in myself to do so. We did competitions and to this day, I have one of the pictures of our competitions hanging up in my hallway. It's the one that we did when we are all laughing and doing funny poses. I have the symbol on my head, and it's funny. I smile when I look at it for a while.
At this point in school, Lexi was now a freshman, and we had band together. Many of the people that I really liked talking to from the previous year were all gone, for whatever reason... OK, well not many, but a few of them were gone. With sister came a whole lot of her friends too. Not to say that I didn't like her friends or anything like that, they were just there now too.
I was still mostly awkward and felt very out of place. There were 3 deaths in my life that year. I think either right before school started or right after it started, my great-grandmother passed away, she was 82, I think. I remember it was very hot outside, in Phoenix and for the first time in many years, the four of us sisters were in a car together. Brandy was pregnant with Mason, Crystal was driving her 1984 Nissan Pulsar, with Lexi and I in the back seat... with no A/C and the windows mostly up because we didn't want our hair to get too messed up. That wasn't an easy death for me. I loved my grandma, she was awesome. She was the 1st generation born in America, from Quebec, drank tea at least 3 times a day and loved to watch Jeopardy.
The next month, I believe would be September, I got my driver's permit. I remember the day that I got it, the 26th. It would be a day that I will forever remember, I lost another loved one that day as well. His name was Joshua, he was my mom's best friend's son. To me, he was the older brother that I didn't have. He loved coming to our house and so many years of my life I remember him in it. He was tall, had long dark brown curly hair, with a hair cut that now reminds me of Michael Bolton, and had a smile that was so killer. He had taken my older sister, Crystal to her senior prom, I just knew that they would get married someday... Obviously that didn't happen. It would be more about a month and a half before they would find and identify his body (it wasn't a very pretty death. I can say with the up most certainty, it's very bad and unnerving to see someone you know and love on the 6 o'clock news asking please, help me find my son). At his memorial service, the pictures of him had so many pictures of me and my sisters there with him. Some of the fondest memories I have of him include potato salad, my mom's of course, B-B-Q chicken, and chocolate chip cookies, the meal of champions.
I remember that I did cross country that year, and I was terrible at it. I joined with my friend Jenny thinking that I was going to be some awesome runner. Or I may have joined to just do something different, but, I think really, it was because I liked this guy who was in it... Surprising right :) To this day I find it somewhat amazing that from the time I realized I had hormones until I learned a few awesome secrets about being a girl (one ring to rule them all) I was only interested in boys and music. All kinds of each of them too. Well, boys, but not music. I have since opened up and broadened my musical spectrum. Back to cross country. I do remember on one meet, we were coming home in the van and I had taken my shoes and socks off and Mike commented that I had such pretty Barbie feet... I do have pretty Barbie feet still. They are cute and look so good in heels. My times were nothing to be proud of, I think it took me almost 45 minutes to make it 3 miles. I was a sprinter, not a distance person.
For my 16th birthday, in October, I was still doing cross country, and afterwards, I asked Jenny if she wanted to walk home with me, we would go see our horse, Heidi. She said sure, and we walked to where Heidi was suppose to be. She wasn't there. Odd, I thought, and so we just went to my house. Every so often, my birthday falls on Columbus Day, and this year, it did. Thinking that my mom was home, I saw her Blazer there, and it was all good. However, when I opened the door, my mom wasn't there. Candy and Debbie (friends of my parents) were there cleaning and decorating. Where's my mom I asked. They look at each other and Candy says, well, She's at the hospital with your dad right now. She was thrown from the horse this afternoon. Larry [Candy's husband] took Heidi out for a ride for a while. Oh, okay. Do I need to help with anything? No no, we're good. Just remember that the lasagna comes out at 7. Got it. I am equal to the task. Around 6 or 6:30, people started to show up at my house. My parents still weren't home yet, and I was a little nervous about this. I'm not usually suppose to have a lots of people over, some yes, but, this was quite a few people. I would say around 7 or so, my parents finally got home that night. Lexi and I had done a fine job of entertaining everyone and keeping things going while they were out. We had cake and ice cream after dinner and it was a good night for me. Everyone seemed to have a good time. Turns out that my mom had planned to have a surprise party for me, but, after being thrown from the horse, it kind of didn't work out the way that she had planned. After everyone left, I remember washing the cinders out of her arm. It was an interesting day to be sure :)
For speech and debate that year, I tried a new approach. I did drama instead of comedy and I had picked a piece that I loved, but, the judges weren't too keen on. It was from the book, by Margret Atwood, The Handmaid's Tale. Awesome book if you ever get the chance to read it, but, it's not for everyone. I saw a lot of girls do bits from Rebecca Wells' Little Alters Everywhere, which I have finally read the book... I like her writing, she also did The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, wow, that book is amazing! I had made a dress for the year in speech and debate, it was a really nice dress that was pretty, and made of rayon, my favorite material. The biggest problem that I had with it, was every time that I sat down, it would wrinkle in the front. This was also the year that when giving my name for a judge at one of the rounds, she asked to spell my last name.... W-o-o-d. Some of the other team members were so good in their debate stuff. The team of Jadi and Serena were damn near unbeatable. Both of them should have gone on to be lawyers, in which case, I think Jadi actually did.
I know that at some point I was at a really low spot in life. I felt like no one wanted to be my friend, yet I can't remember really not having friends. There were always friends around me, maybe I was blind to see it. I do know while riding the bus home one day that I thought of ending it. I thought of it, and then I thought maybe not... I didn't really want to end it, I just wanted to feel something other than the pain of being a teenager.
So I tried to make things better, I had gone to the doctor's at one point and was given something for the acne, so my face started to clear up. I started to dress a little bit better, and I overall tried really hard to keep going. One of my favorite friends this year, until we graduated was Shannon Jernigan. She was tall, like the rest of my friends, and was super funny. I loved hanging out with her!
There were other people that I feel it's important to mention for a lot of their own reasons. There was Sammy, one of my closer friends. She wasn't in band with me, well, not since 6th grade, but we did Speech and Debate together, I think. She was one of those people who make you want to be a better person after hanging out with them. I love that about her, and even still, she's got this heart of gold. I only think of her in the best light. She was truly a friend. I used to go over to her house and do puzzles with her and her mom. I remember all of her sisters too. Very interesting girls, and I got along with all of them. They were as different as me and my sisters, so it was easy to be around them. I love Sammy :)
Jessie, whom I have mentioned a few times, was another close friend. She was about 10 months older than me, and was actually, the oldest person in our grade. Not to say that she's old or anything like, but, her birthday was first for our grade... There were two other guys in our grade that were older than me, but, I was the 5th in our grade for age. Anyhow, we attended church together, were in band together, were in Girl Scouts together, I don't remember about other classes though. She was fun to be around, always doing something. I remember our freshman year, walking from school to the store and then to my house, it was much closer to hers, and feeling this awesome feeling of freedom to do whatever I wanted, it was so great!!
Another girl I was in Girl Scouts with was Jenny. She too attended the same church as me, and she was so super nice, had a great smile, was, in general, really upbeat and sweet. I wanted to be as tall as Jenny was, but, it's not going to happen, without the help of some really tall heels.
This was the year that I did track in high school. I ran, once again, the 100 dash and this year, I did the 4 X 100. Oddly enough, the other members of the team were Lexi, and our neighbors, a pair of sisters the same age as Lexi and I. I loved being in track, it was so much fun. One of the two great tragedies of this year were for our state qualifying meet, Lexi and I had a band competition on the same day. This competition was in Phoenix somewhere and our meet was in Winslow. Which is really far from each other. My parents picked us up from our band thing and drove straight to Winslow. Within 10 minutes of us getting there, though it felt more like 4 minutes, I was to run the 100 dash. I was not really ready just yet, but I still was at the starting line when it was time to go. I was in the first heat and ran a 14.57 100 yard dash. It wasn't bad, but, I came in like 5 in the heat. The next heat, a girl who was on our team, ran the EXACT same time, but, since she came in 3rd in her heat, she went to state and I did not. FAIL!!! The other thing was for another meet that was kind of a big one, I went to a speech and debate tournament instead. I kept thinking that I was going to do really well in speech that year, but, I wasn't as good as I had wanted to be, and spent the majority of the day wishing I had done the track meet instead. Oh well. Got to wear this dress that I had made, it was rayon and so pretty. I loved that dress!
Mostly, 10th grade was OK. Some of the guys that I had liked were going to graduate this year, so I wasn't going to see them after this year. I did get my driver's license on Good Friday that year, and that was really cool.
Now the summer between 10th and 11th grade got to be pretty interesting. To start with, I went to camp at NAU with sister and Jessie and Jenny and Carly and a few others instead of going to Glorietta New Mexico. Sister had started to date Joshy (same guy that I like in 8th grade and just knew it was going to happen with him, I started calling him Joshy at this point) and she slept with his shirt while we were there. Joshy, had gone to the same church as the rest of us, and he, being a soccer player, had the opportunity to go to Australia that summer to play, so he wasn't in camp with us. After camp, we played and had fun, but then, we got the opportunity to go to another conference thing in the valley that summer. For whatever reason, I don't think that Lexi went, but, since my other sister, Crystal, lived in Phoenix, I asked if she could pick me up at the end of the day and I would stay with my Grandma for a few weeks.
Now, I had gone down there, thinking that it would be alright to spend the weekend with my sister. I didn't see anything wrong with it, however, I would find out that, that wasn't the case. I did go spend the weekend with Crystal. I had asked my grandma on Saturday if it would be alright if I could stay there for the weekend, which she said yes, that would be alright. So, I did. I had a great time. When I got to my grandma's house on Monday I think, I thought everything was fine. Until Tuesday when I talked to my parents. This wasn't to be my finest moment. I have been told that I made the comment "I'm 16, I have rights!", I don't remember this at all. But, needless to say, this was the only fight I have ever gotten into with my parents. The next afternoon, I was on the bus to come home, and I really didn't understand why this was. It was the middle of June when this happened. I was grounded for about a month and some change for this one.
A little over two weeks later, my mom had her birthday party and there was this guy there, named Aaron. He had just graduated and he was really cute. The next morning, I wasn't feeling so great, but I had dreamt about him that night, and this would begin another borderline obsessive crush that I would have. Within a few weeks, I would have a job where he worked, although, I don't think that was the reason that I got the job there. I do remember the first time that he talked to me at work, all I could hear in my head was Walking on Sunshine by Katrina and the Waves. I wanted to have money and I really wanted to be able to prove to my parents that I deserved to get my keys back, I was a responsible 16 year old. I really hated not being able to drive. What was the point of getting my license if I couldn't drive? And this would take me up into my junior year in high school.....
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