Yesterday, I thought things were going well. I was thinking that I have great clients. I was into my massages, remembering to be present in the moment and do the best I can for them. And then, like a light switch was turned off, I sank into a low spot. I don't know why or what really brought it on. I just know that when I called Thomas to see how things were going, I was crying. I know that my stress level is going up considerably and I know that things in life are not always going to be peaches and crème, but, I need a break from this. I need to know that despite how it is now, things are getting better, that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I will come out of it... not only that, that I will come out on top of it! I went to lunch with some friends, and that really seemed to help. I was very glad that I did go out. And all and all, the day was a good one, but, it got to such a point, that Naomi called me. We talk, and I love this girl. But she can always sense when I need her, and when I'm not myself. Which is good, but, at the same time, I know that I hit a low spot.
I will persevere and things are improving everyday. I'm not unhappy, and I love where my life is, but, I am ready to take charge and do something great. I have this theory that if I could get a roller skating rink going, then I could get a roller derby league going up here on the mountain. I know that I have to do this. It's what I want, but more than that, it's something that the whole community can enjoy. And honestly, there are a few things that really attract me to it. I can get more tattoos, and that's always fun... I have two more planned out... But the biggest thing that makes me want this, is how much it can empower women. Not just the ones who have played sports their whole lives, but the ones who think that they don't fit in with society. The ones who live up here because it's where their kids are, but, they want to be someplace a little bit more forgiving and a lot less superficial.
Having grown up on the mountain, I spent a lot of time not having anyplace to go play. Most kids I hung out with, we all went to church together, but, that only goes so far. What about for fun? I don't about you, but, I could always spend hours at a video arcade or roller skating. In fact, I still can. This isn't about fishnets and cool names (although, that will be fun), it's about giving back to the community. It's about giving the kids a place to be a kid, without being something illegal.
Today I start to write a business plan. I have no clue how to go about it, but, I will get this. I don't know where the money to fund this will come from, but I will find it. I don't know when it will happen, but, mark my words, I will get what I want... I ALWAYS do!
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