Movies

So, last week I told Belinda that I would be posting on Tuesday.  It's now Wednesday and I am just now getting this out there.  I have become a self proclaimed Redbox whore.  I love being able to go Circle K and grab a few movies to watch.  Last week, I watched Anna Karenina.  When I first saw the preview for it, I bought the book, I was so intrigued with it... It's in a pile of books to read now :)

The basis of the movie is about a married woman who is courted by a young Calvary officer.  She tries to ignore his advances but is soon taken by him and an affair ensues.  She finds herself, for the first time, truly in love with a man.  She gets pregnant by her lover and leaves her husband and son to be with this young man, but society finds her actions to be deplorable and she is an outcast in St. Petersburg... it's in Russia in 1874, thus the reason why society is unkind to her (because in todays society, it's ok to be doing that and no one is an outcast.  I think we should bring back shame and value what marriage is suppose to mean and represent.  Too many get married too young and use that an excuse to do whatever they want instead of just admitting the mistake and having enough respect for the other person to just tell them that they no longer want to be married and end it nicely, they have to drag each other through the mud and humiliate the other person.. what the hell kind of society are we living in?)  In the end, the lover leaves her for another woman, he husband would take her back into his house and life and she refuses and her heart is so broken beyond repair, she throws herself under an oncoming train. 

I watched this and I cried at the end of it.  Not because I was upset that she did this, but, for me, it was about that ultimate heartbreak that feels like it takes the very breath away and makes you feel like the only thing that will end this feeling of emptiness is death.  It broke my heart to see that in someone else.  I mean, she still had options and yet, for her, a life without love wasn't worth living. 

In my experience, I know that feeling.  I know that heartache that feels like it will never go away.  That life has nothing left in it.  For me, I was able to pull myself out of that depression and go on and realize that there is always love out there.  In fact, if the truth be told, there are over 6 billion people on the earth, chances are  you will find love once again.  I have been very lucky in finding it again.  Yet, to watch that, to see another person go through it, it was like living it all over again.  I felt my breath catch in my chest and my heart break for her. 

Silly I know, but, it was so sad to watch that.  And had I not had someone that I cared about more than I did myself, I may have done the same.  I say that Piper saved me in more ways than one, this is one example of it.  She is my shining star that is a light of my life.  As for finding love after such a heartache, I know that there is hope, for everyone.  I thought I was never going to be able to crawl out of my depression and yet, I did... and when I finally gave up wanting to be with my ex-husband, and I started to focus on finding a companion who liked me for me, didn't want to change me, challenged me mentally, was an equal, and talked nicely to me, I found a man who embodied all of those things, plus only sees me in black and white, which, I look so much better in black and white.  It is possible, I can say that with all my heart, it is possible to recover after such a bad heartbreak. 

The last three movies I have watched have all been based on true stories.  Lincoln, Chasing Mavericks and The Sessions.  All of them have been such great movies.  I was so impressed by all these stories.  Just great stories and all of them about different things.  Lincoln, was about passing the 13th Amendment, in the time of a fortnight (2 weeks for those who don't know that term... I think we should use that word a lot more) and then a few months after the fact and the surrender of the Southern states and Lincoln's death.  I was so loving Daniel Day Lewis as Abe.  He was so good in the role.  Truly Oscar worthy in his performance of the 16th President.  I am glad he came out of retirement to do this movie.  And Sally Fields... she was amazing.  What a bitch his wife was, but, times were different then, and life was much different.  She even knew she was going to be looked at as a crazy one.  Sally was magnificent in her role!!!

Chasing Mavericks was about a young kid who wanted to surf Mavericks.  Mavericks is that legendary place south of San Francisco where the big waves come in and only the very daring of the ballsiest will try those waves.  Gerald Butler was in it... mmmmm....  This kid worked his ass off to get to train to surf those waves and surf it he did.  His name was Jay Moriarty.  Now for the most part, I didn't really watch the movie, but I kept walking into the bedroom where Thomas was watching it.  I love watching movies about the ocean and surfers, so I was a little bummed that I wasn't able to watch it.  I did get to see the last 45 minutes of it though, and wow.  Talk about a lot to overcome to get to Mavericks.  He was able to ride the waves at Mavericks and later went on to be a pretty famous surfer.  In the end of the movie, he died while free diving.  He was married to the love of his life, and people say Live Like Jay! I think it's meaning is to live to the fullest, live in the moment and enjoy the ride.  You never know when it's going to be over...

The last movie that I watched last night was The Sessions.  It was based on an article called "On seeing a sex surrogate" by Mark O'Brein.  It was about a man who was in his late 30's that had contracted polio when he was 6 years old and had been told he would only live for about 18 months... It was much longer than that.  He was a virgin and lived most of his life in an iron lung, a device used to help him breath.  He decided to seek the help of a sex surrogate.  Now, after looking up this article, I was amazed that Fox had taken this article on to make a movie of it.  Not only that, Helen Hunt, who plays the surrogate, was nominated for an Oscar for best supporting actress for her role as Cheryl Cohen Green.  Wow, she was awesome in this movie!  The end of the movie showed Mark as going through a power outage and ending up in the hospital where he met his partner, Susan.  It was a heartwarming story of self acceptance and overcoming a fear that seems to be the problem for many people... Self-loathing because we think we should act or be or look a certain way in order for others to accept and love us. 

Heartbreak, nations at war, living life to the fullest and self acceptance seem to be the main themes of these dramas.  All of them I would happily purchase to watch at my own leisure, however, for now, I will be happy with just renting them and wondering what kind of story Hollywood will tell me next.  Three of them were true stories, and I think that even fiction has its elements of truth to them.  There were men who would stop at nothing to get what they want.  There were men who loved their wives but had no idea how to show it to them.  I am sure that there were women who cheated on their husbands and became heartbroken after the fact.  Interesting how truth is always somehow stranger than fiction. 

I think that's why I love to write about my life so much.  There is much drama to it, not all of it is bad, in fact, the majority of it is great.  But, there are those moments when things are just too unreal and can't really be happening.  I can't think of any of them right off the top of my head, but, I'm sure I've had those moments... From about the time I was 22 to 30 would be about right... Just so unreal that when I talk about it, most look at me like I just grew a second head... Oh well... I like to tell the truth to people with a lot of sarcasm that way they think I'm lying.  I also enjoy using humor to say what I'm really thinking.... I remember the week that I turned 18, my dad came into my room and asked what did I do this weekend... Got drunk, got laid, got a tattoo, smoked a whole lot... :)

The dishes are calling, so I guess it's time to get going.  I am sure I will have lots more to say in the next week or so... Stay tuned :)