I haven't been that great at writing this month. In fact, I have been doing poorly, just, I think somewhat lazy... But, I am still at it. I do tend to think of this as a sort of journal, and even when I was writing all the time, I still missed a lot of days... sometimes. There are a lot of reasons why I haven't written the last few weeks. I have been busy, but I haven't really been on the computer when I want to write, which is usually after Piper goes to sleep and I can write without much distraction. There are things in my life, other than Piper that distract me, but, that's not the point. I have so much to do, in fact, I have to get a presentation together for this coming Wednesday night on the benefits on Massage, specifically, touch in general. I will be working on this tonight and tomorrow night, that way, I have nothing to do on Wednesday, except to give the presentation. I am really looking forward to it too.
It's now Tuesday, and I still haven't gotten this written, I guess I just get really tired and have other things to do, but, I know that I have to get writing on this! It has been one of my goals, and dammit, I'm going to finish this, just to prove that I can... so let's do a status check shall we...
For Lent, I was going to give up base makeup and go with only eye liner and some lipstick of some sort. That lasted for about 2 weeks... I went to the mall in Chandler and had the makeup done for me at the Bare Minerals store, have been wearing it for the last week now. I would say that I hate that I'm vain, but, I don't hate myself for that. That's just plain silly.
I was going to Zumba in the mornings and that lasted about 2 days. I think it was because we had one of the kids over here, my friend's son, and he slept in the living room and I just didn't want to wake him up to work out... so not the best on my part.
I was going to have sex everyday for 40 days, didn't happen. I am not going into details about that, it's just not been everyday.
I tried to do a 30 days of squats, and I did pretty good for the first week and then I had a bit too much wine, and too much food and didn't do it the day after... I do keep trying to get it done though, I want to wear shorts this summer! I didn't do it for a week, but, I am back to trying... I mean, I am back to doing. In the words of Yoda, "Try not. Do or do not." Words of wisdom from a short green man, but, he was wise.
I have not really lost any weight, I have not been writing as much as I would like, I have been getting up early in the mornings, mostly to wait for the coffee. I have been clearing my energy, and I am thinking of new and exciting ways to share what I can offer to the world. I was told last week that I was so beautiful, I could be a model. Made me feel good. I also like to toss around the idea of being a public speaker. I do like to talk to hear myself talk... I think I like the sound of my own voice, but, I don't like it so much these days... Have been sick with a cough that has been persistent.
I was talking to a client today, about how it's strange that when I was with another man, he would tell me things that I couldn't do, or wouldn't be able to do and I would do it just to prove him wrong. Now, being with Thomas who thinks I can do anything I want, who is supportive and kind and doesn't say mean things to me, I have no motivation to be anything other than what I am already. I did once read, either the Dali Lama or someone of the like said something to the effect that you are perfect just the way you are... you could use some improvement. I could use improvement.
The energy clearing is helping me a lot. I feel so glowy and happy when I'm done, and when I clear out all the bad stuff, I have it in my head what I tell myself that is good and happy and gets me going. I love that part. I have been listening to music that makes me feel good afterwards too. I don't think I can listen to some of the music I have after a good clearing, I want to put good things into my being. I have lots of love and light to give to the world!
I will persevere and keep going on my quest to be a better me. I am loving the journey these days though. It's a good ride!
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