I couldn't believe that it's actually taken me this long to get through 6 years of school. I have thought long and hard on these years in my life, and really, I am glad that they are over. I had a lot of things happen my last year in high school, so, in true honor of my commitment to tell the truth about myself, I will tell the story of my last year in high school. As in the beginning of this, I have chosen to not mention last names to keep those involved, good, bad or otherwise, somewhat protected. I think it's only fair to do so. Anyhow, so...
My last year of school, I couldn't wait to get it over with! For classes this year, I had decided to really have some fun, thinking I was going to take the easy way out, and I took a CNA class for my science credits that was all morning, every morning. Followed by lunch and then math class. I would carpool with two other girls from my school every morning. We took turns driving, one each week. So, it was going to be easier on our gas tanks, and wallets...back when gas was about a buck a gallon. And we whined about it then... ugh! Anyhow, I know that I liked the CNA class, at least the school work part. Not so much on the other part of it, where we would go to the nursing home and work with the patients there. Or the hospital where half the nursing home residents were currently getting care. It was a hard thing for me to see just how bad it was. I have a lot of respect for the men and women who do that, but, I discovered that I couldn't do it. I got through the class overall, but I never took the state exam to do the work.
During this time, I also took pre-calculus. I wasn't very good in math, and really, I'm not all that great at it, but, I do get by when I need to. Due to the fact that I wasn't very good at it, didn't understand a lot of what was going on, and I was having a hard time emotionally with my other class, I ditched. A lot. In fact, when I didn't want to ditch, I would call my dad at work and have him talk to Gail. I even used my emergency contact person to get out of school one day. And yes, for the second part of the semester, I did fail that class. And I wasn't really upset about it, I just, was like, oh well.
I wasn't doing band again this year, and for the second time, work took most importance for me. Which brings up an event that somewhat shaped how I view a few things now days... well, one thing actually. Sex. This has taken a lot of debate if I wanted to divulge this information or not, and I decided that I would. So, while at work one day, I was looking through the news paper, trying to find a vehicle that I wanted. And in walked a guy that had caught my eye the year before... Aaron. By this time, it was September and we had gotten through our little tiff, (I think it was when he was given the job of telling the carry-outs what to do, and he used that to have me clean all the drains in the store, with a small scrub brush) so we were on friendly-er terms. At least we were talking and for me, that was better than the alternative. He walks in and asked what am I doing... Looking for a truck that I want. I really want to have Glenn's truck [a guy that I known the whole of my life who wouldn't give me the time of day].... Why don't you sleep with him and get it over with? .... I don't want to suck at it, still hasn't happened yet.... If you ever need some help with that let me know.... (Wait, what????!!! Did he really just say what I think he did?) OK, it's a deal then.... When?..... How about for my birthday, it's in about 3 weeks?..... OK, deal.
WHAT??!!! Holy shit, I just managed to figure out how to finally end this once in my life time, virginity problem! Wow... now what? Well, the next three weeks, I have time to sit and think about this... should I try to lose weight, should I do something to make myself feel special, maybe buy new underwear... Hmmm... This was going to be a toughie. At this point, I think I only told Diane, a girl that I worked with. I am not sure if she said anything to anyone else about it, but, it was something that was huge for me. About a week before the day, he comes to me and asks if we are still on for my big day. I say of course... now he wants the details of this. OK, so, we decided since I don't have to work until late on Friday, we think this will be the day for it. I get out of school after 3rd hour, so I can come to his house after that... oh shit this is really going to happen. OK, I can do this, it's OK. Don't obsess over it Julie.
Friday finally gets here, and I am a little nervous, to say the least. I didn't say anything to my closest friends because I don't think any of them would really understand what was going on. I go home after school, and brush my teeth, I think I even changed underwear, but, I can't remember that. I grab my favorite tape to play and take off. Now it takes about 7 or 8 minutes to get to his house, so I put my tape in and hit play, it was U2, With or Without You (to this day, if I hear this song, I just smile to myself). I pull up to the house. It's just him, thankfully, that would be weird if his mom was home.
We go inside, he was outside waiting for me. Now, this is something that has made me wonder since it happened. Why? What made him change his mind and now all of the sudden he wants to not only talk to me, but, be the first? I know at the time it baffled my mind, but, now, I don't think of it so much. He was just a guy, and I was just a girl, waiting for someone to show me the way.
I remember walking up to his room, and then he turned, and motioned for me to come closer. My stomach was in my throat and oh my god is this about to happen is all that I can think of. He kissed me. I remember it because it was the first time a guy had kissed me like that... well, not like that in general, but, with intention. He was a good kisser. The afternoon progressed and it was not something that I will talk about, but, it was good, as good as a first time can be. He was kind and thoughtful, and when it ended, he kissed me and then that was it. I had to go home and get ready for work.
I didn't work til 5 that night, and before I went it, I went to get some food and all I could do was think about it. While at work, I would have this most graphic shag flashback and it would be like, WHOA!!! Holy shit, I had SEX! I didn't tell anyone about it. None of my close friends would find out for another 6 months. He had asked me to keep it between us, didn't want it to get around work I guess. Whatever.
After that, as far as school went, the next day was a Saturday, I got my first tattoo. When I got home from Trisha's house on Sunday, my dad asked me what I did that weekend... oh you know, got drunk, got laid, got a tattoo... he was like, whatever. ;) Oh I was so bad.
A few months later, sometime during the snow, I remember being approached by another to hook up with him, which I really wanted to, but, he was with my friend, and I couldn't do that to her. Friends don't sleep with their friends' boyfriends. Though, I thought about it afterwards.
School the next semester was OK. I didn't have a 1st period class so I slept in everyday. That was nice. Lexi and Diana (one of the two girls next door) would take the truck to school, and about ten till 9, Jessica (Diana's older sister, who was in my grade) and I would go to school. It was a good deal. I continued to do Speech and Debate, which I think I actually got better at it. For our Tri-State tournament, Karla and I did an acting thing about Anastasia and her grandmother and I think we took 6th in it. It was the first time I had ever done gotten that far in a tournament. Yay us!! We wore two formal gowns, and they were so pretty. One was an emerald green with cream straps, and the other was a dark blue off the shoulder dress. Both were awesome! I was so happy about actually getting that far. It was a good night for me.
For my senior year, I had decided to take German II and go to Germany with the German club. I had to do all the work myself, because the other German II class was the first semester. I was a little bummed that Lexi wouldn't be taking it with me, or going to Europe with me for that matter. There was another guy in that class that I kind of liked, name was Devin. We were friendly but never really anything else, though I did hope so. Sometime in the spring, we went to my house and I bleached his hair for him, and then he did mine. It didn't turn out like I had hoped. We would spend a lot time in class goofy off and not really doing our work. At this point, I really didn't care. I just wanted to get out of that place.
By this time, it was pretty much a sure thing that I would be going to Europe with the German club. Now, in the fall, there was a group of kids who came over from Offenburg Germany who had stayed with us. I had two girls, Anina and Claudia. They were so cool, and I was so not cool. I worked a lot and I snored which seemed to keep them awake... headphones people, really. Well, when I was to get to Germany, I would be staying with one of them. I didn't know which one I would eventually stay with either, until we got to Germany. (That is a whole other entry which would have to include the whole summer for that matter. It was a summer to remember, and it was a lot of fun. I think looking back on it now, being that I wasn't dating anyone at that point, I can be really glad for it, without thinking of how much I hate someone else now, lucky me :) I do remember, right before graduation, Devin and I decided that it would be fun to switch hits with each other. This was after I bought my graduation dress, it was so pretty, and would show off my arms. I ended up with some serious bruises on my arms. Then, the Sunday before graduation, I bleached my hair again, my mom told me I had to change the color again, since there was no way I was going to be allowed to walk with my hair like that. The next day, I let someone draw on my arms, in black sharpie. I didn't make a lot of good choices for about a month before I graduated, but that's not the point.
At last, I made it to graduation. I didn't think this day would ever get here. How fantastic is that! I had waited until the last few weeks to ask someone to walk with me for our graduation ceremony. The first two guys that I had asked, failed our senior year and wouldn't be walking.... Shit! There was almost no one left to walk with. Then, thankfully, a very nice guy named Sant didn't have anyone to walk with. So I asked him if he would walk with me. He said yes. I was really relieved by that. He was so nice and a lot smarter than what I think others gave him credit for, though, I have a feeling I was a bit too wild for him, even as a friend.
We walked and I got my diploma. It was such a great feeling! And after graduation, I was going to join the marines... that didn't happen, but, I did think about it. I wanted to get out of the town and just do something. Thankfully though, Germany was a week away, and I was to begin an adventure of a lifetime. One that I still tell my family about to this day. I can say, to anyone who ever has the chance of getting to go to Europe for any length of time, do it. You will always wish you did if you don't go, and you will never forget it!!!
In the time between graduation and leaving for Germany, I managed to help plant the garden and get that all going. I was going to miss my sister. I hadn't been apart for long, ever. I hated to think of her not going with me, but, it wasn't in the cards for us. I am thinking that it's a good thing that I ended up going, because if not, I probably would have run off with the Rainbow people when they came to the mountain while I was gone... Oh that summer......
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