Every year for my birthday, I set a new goal for the year. I tend to not really accept January 1st as the start of the new year, for me, it's my birthday. Why not, it's how I measure my life in years, why not do it this way. Most years in the past, I have had really good days, with only a few bad ones. The year I turned 22 was a bad one, but was quickly made into a good one. 26 was a really hard year, but, I got through it and eventually, I was better... Then 30 came, and it was such a great year for so many reasons. And 30 came again, and again and again and again.. I am sticking with 30 from now on, but, for the record, I will be 34 tomorrow.
I don't think of myself as being old in any way. In fact, 34 isn't old in any way either, and in my head, I am more like 16... 20 on some days, but, mostly I feel like a kid. I have been at work and had someone tell me, "Julie, you're the professional here," and I almost laugh because it just sounds so strange to me. Me, a professional, how odd to hear it though.
When I was a young girl, I don't really remember having birthday parties with a lot of people, just remembering being surrounded by my family and they were kind with their gifts. I got a soccer ball one year and a toy building set, a joker one year, which I still have. I have many cards that come in the mail and all my friends on Facebook are kind enough to extend a birthday well wishes, and I like that. I used to hate being sung to for my birthday, and now, I love to hear it. For just one day a year, I get to have lots of attention all to myself. Not that I don't any other day of the year, but, you get the idea. It feels good to have those around you remember the day and do something nice for you.. And what kills me is I tend to forget the rest of the people that I know when it comes to their birthday. And then I feel like an ass for forgetting especially if they were kind enough to get me anything.
So this year, as my resolution, when one of my friends has a birthday, I will, at the very least, make sure to send them an electronic message of good will and happiness for that day and for the upcoming year. I am hoping to be able to send a card for all of my family.. Mom, dad, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, you name it, I will try... which means that a good address is going to have to be in order if you wish to get a card from me :)
I love getting presents. I know that I am a self absorbed, very selfish kind of girl and I know that it seems that at a certain point, I would give up on getting things and just realize that I have everything that matters to me... and I do realize that. I have so much to be grateful for and I am truly blessed to have all that I do. But, I still hope that I get something that I asked for every year. This year, is no exception either. I have this thing for backpacks. I remember being in high school, looking at Betsy's Jansport backpack that was blue with the leather bottom, wishing I had enough money to get one of those. I love bags for some strange reason, and I don't know why. Every year, before school starts, I so want to get a new bag!! For my birthday, I have asked for a very specific kind of back pack. It's a Jansport checkered multi coloured backpack. No twenty pockets, no place for a laptop, no place to put my music, just a bag with a front pocket and a big bag in the back. Nothing terribly fancy. I hate to say that while I ask for things like this, I don't expect to receive them. It's not anything big, it is what it is. I love the phone calls from all my sisters, and I love to go to my moms house and eat my favorite cake (this year however, we are trying something different due to angel food cake has wheat flour and it needs to be gluten free for Piper to eat it, so we are going with Better Than Sex Pumpkin Cake.... I honestly believe that there is cake that is better than sex, you're sleeping with the wrong person then, we shall see about it). I used to get to pick out my favorite meal for the event, and this year, I will be happy with whatever is made... though, I would love my moms red beef enchiladas with fresh green chilies and yellow onions.
Piper's birthday was last week, she turned 7. I was told today that I wasn't old enough to have a 7 year old... I agree. But, I love that kid so much. After a week of birthday presents and lots of fun, she is exhausted and ready for bed tonight. I like that too, that she's tired and wants to go to bed. Makes it so much easier for me in putting her to bed. I used to be so mad at the thought of having to share my birthday with her, but, since we have a week between them, it's all good now. She is like me in thinking that her birthday is all month long, starting from about the middle of September to the middle of November. What can I say, her dad used to spoil the shit out of me... all I had to do was bat my big blue eyes and him and just say please and he would do it... I have taught Piper the same thing, and when she tries to use it on me, it's not met the with the response that she hopes for... who do you think gave her those eyes? She is the light of our lives, and mine has become infinitely richer with her, which makes our birthday month that much more fun. And truth be told, her dad isn't the only one who spoils that child, Thomas is just as bad, if not worse because he's with her more often. She's the little devil on his shoulder going let's go get some ice cream. And replies, fuck yeah, let's get ice cream.. they are so bad! Today, he was helping her with learning to ride her skate board...
Anyhow, I love October and I love it because of the leaves falling off the trees and all the crisp mornings and how great it feels to know that autumn is here... And because of my birthday. Birthday's are awesome I think. I know this is the year, my ship is in, I am the lucky one... good things are happening to me all the time... I AM FEARLESS!! Night all, Peace
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