In the past, I have mentioned, more than once, how I wish I could go back to life in the 1980's. After reading Rolling Stones today, I am going to really stand by that thought.
Not that Rolling Stones is a bad magazine, it's not, I love the political stuff that they put out there. The article that I read was on teens in the age of sexting and social media. The repercussions of this are becoming more commonplace and that's sad when teens think that the only option is death. I was crying reading this article, wishing there was a way that we can change what's going on, and I don't know how to.
I asked Kim what she thought, and we agree it has a lot to do with respect, but, not just a respect for others, you need to respect yourself too. How do I teach this my girls? How do show them that wearing clothes where my ass is hanging out of the bottom of my shorts is often seen as advertising and there are some who would argue that if you dress that way, you are just asking to be violated. How do I teach my girls to like and love themselves and know that one doesn't have to try so hard for attention. I don't know how to do that. It scares me that Piper will come into her teens and there will be this world of the Internet that her dad and Thomas and I and her aunts and uncles will never truly understand what it is to grow up with it. It was the late 90's when I got my first email account, so to have one in first grade seems a bit much to me.
I know that times changes and so must I in order to be able to give her all that she needs while growing up. I am saddened by the girls who think that in order for a boy to like them, they will have to do things that completely compromises their integrity and they have no idea what kind of actions and reactions this will cause. I read in this article that boys are texting girls to send them pictures of their boobs with or without the bra and they do because they think that if they don't', this boy isn't going to like them. Fuck these boys! What the hell??!!! I know that boys will be boys and that they like boobs and just want to see them, I get that, but, it's getting to a point that if a girl doesn't, then, she's then publicly shamed for it and bullied even more. Holy hell, what's going on here? I hate to put this all on the boys of our society, but, it seems to me, that they are playing a bigger part in this then they realize. It makes me sad and sick to think that as a male, if I was a star football player, I could sexually assault a girl, take pictures of it, and when she hits me for doing it, she gets into trouble, not me. Our schools are protecting dude and once again, looking at the female and saying, well, what did you do to deserve this? WHAT??? In which scenario does a person, male or female, DESERVE to be assaulted, and then humiliated? I am curious, because, it seems to be a reoccurring theme through out our modern society.
As a woman, I had to get through my teens to get to where I am now. And the teen years where sketchy at best, but in no way did I ever do anything thinking it would make me more desirable to the opposite sex, like take nude pictures of myself and give them to anyone. When I was in my twenties, we didn't have a lot of cell phones and there was no Facebook, Instagram, or any other type of social media and I did a lot of stupid shit that would have been humiliating if it ever got out. I know what it's like to be so drunk that you let someone do things, like write all over you, because you want them to like you. I remember having my little sister scrub writing off of me, and I never asked what it said, I was pretty mortified by the whole thing. I can't imagine the utmost horror of having that shit sent to anyone I went to school with.
I think kids think that because they are close to being adults, that they can act like adults and they forget, they can't do that. Sending pictures of girls who are under 18 to anyone, is still child pornography and that's against the law. What breaks my heart is knowing that it's not just the females who are being bullied over the Internet and social media. I think it's horrible that you are no longer allowed to be a bully face to face, at least you could stand up for yourself at that point, and have a good old fashioned romp to get it out. Now, you can't bully in person because, you will get into trouble and could be expelled... so they turn to a way that can hurt far more, because so many more people can tap into it. And if you do stand up for yourself against a bully, you are expelled for fighting. Our kids don't seem to have a chance if we don't start doing something different.
What can we do though? Get a boxing ring in the school and let them beat each other up with gloves and ref? I don't' know, maybe. I still think we need to stop looking at the other people in our lives and see the value and worth that we have and that we have to offer the world. Stop comparing yourself to the girl who is a size 0 and be proud of who you are. If you don't like something about yourself, then change it... and change isn't about taking a pill to make it alright, it's about hard work and determination and some times, it requires a little sacrifice... (not like sacrificing chickens or anything, but, giving up something that you really like, i.e. potato chip, dollar tacos on Thursdays, wheat, spending all my time with friends so I can workout, this is a type of sacrifice that we need). I am not saying that everyone should or should not look a certain way, but, if you don't like what you see, stop wishing for it change, and just do something about it. No two people are the same, why would you want to look like everyone else?
Too many things in this modern age don't make sense to me. Why does everyone on Facebook need to know what I ate for dinner tonight (rolled tacos with guacamole and cheese)? What difference does it make what some dude thinks of me? The friends I have now, I have them because they add to me, not subtract. I surround myself with people who love me for me, not because I am skinny, white, wear a certain kind of clothes to work, drive my awesome Chevy Cavalier, or anything else that really doesn't matter... it's about who I am inside, the person who is flawed, but, accepts those flaws. Why don't we teach our kids that you are not your friends, and you are uniquely you... Love and embrace that! There is nothing better than to be truly love and accepted by those around us, but, in all honesty, the best feeling I have, is knowing that, I love myself, I love the woman that I have become and I am going to continue to make strides to be the best me that I can be. I am not perfect, I am perfectly flawed, and yet, it's totally OK. I don't get lonely when I am alone, and I can be alone with my thoughts without the desperate need for the company of others or any other medium that could distract me from hearing my thoughts. To be alone in the woods, or sitting next to the ocean, is the closest to perfect I have ever come. I have this imagine of myself in my head, and my goal is to match the outside to what I see on the inside... oh to have curly hair :)
Anyhow, I will meditate on this, and see what I can come up with. I want my girls to know that they don't have to hate themselves their whole lives. It's a constant thing, to love myself unconditionally with out feeling guilty because I didn't do something or I did something that I shouldn't have. Don't obsess over the past, it's over, I can't change it, all I can do is keep looking up, there is amazing things that are happening all the time... night all .... Peace
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