I have not done my part of this side of the resolutions. Not sure if I will be able to remedy that, but, it's all good. I have been silent for a reason though. Not because I was sick or hurt or incapacitated in any way, just haven't really turned on my computer in a while. It's strange that I'm not on it all the time anymore.
There is so much going on in the last few months that for me, it's hard to come to grips with it. I find it humorous at times but mostly frightening and sad and horrifying at the same time. I can't understand what's going on, or why the letter R behind your name gives the idea that there are no consequences for actions. Who is representing whom at this point?
Anyhow, on to life. My goal of running is coming along, slowly this month, but, it's only half way done, I plan on a late comeback for it. I think signing up for another half at the end of April will give me something to shot for. I have found a book on training plans. I think I will use it. I want to be able to qualify for the big one, Boston Marathon at some point in my life. Sooner rather that later would be good, but, I can wait. And train. And be diligent in my training.
Self evaluation is going well. I have managed to do that a bit every day, and I think it helps. Maybe one day I can be at work all day and not make a snide comment or one that may be taken the wrong way. I am doing my best every day, I guess that's all I can do. This past month, I haven't been on my running as much as I would like to have been. I needed to rest for a few days at the start of the month. My shins were killing me, and for those 6 long days with no runs in them, I noticed how quickly my waist size can compound without my running daily. I wore my compressing socks this whole time as well to make sure that the blood was doing it's thing in my legs properly. Slowly, I got back to my normal running. Well, as of now, a month after that rest.
I managed to run in my first major race this year. The Rock 'N' Roll Marathon series in Phoenix is where I did my first half marathon race. There were so many people there. I was number 19074. Started about an hour after the clock did, but, I was pleased with my performance. I am really looking forward to signing up for a full marathon next year. Yes, I will be brave enough to run a full marathon. And I have some help from a book on training as well as a support group that is out of this world awesome. I like that they all seem to want to be each other's cheerleaders for our successes and our downfalls. It's like being in the Navy again, but with people who generally like to run more. And longer. And we smile more than my counter parts did out on the ocean. I have signed up for a half at the end of the month. I'm super excited about it. It's a virtual race, but I think I should be out there, that morning of the race and know that while I'm not there with them right then, I'm with them, the whole 13.1 miles. I already have my medal and shirt. And the medal is a frame. So I have a photo that is of my and my best friend at out first race together. I keep trying to get Nessa to do more with me. She's not a half person, which is cool. But she cheers me on and that is even better!
I think it must be getting old for some of my friends to read about me running. I mean, it's really all I do and say that I do. I shop for food and shit like that, I went bra shopping with Piper, and yet, all I was thinking about was running. I have noticed a few little things in my body change as well since I began this journey two years ago. I don't feel like I'm going nuts anymore. This was certainly a huge thing for me. One day it was the end of the world and the very next I was over the moon excited about not a damn thing. Running gave me my attitude back. It is also more expensive than what I had originally thought it would be. Shoes are nice and pricey. I try to pay a bit less for my clothes, which is why I shop at Ross, but I will pay good money for shoes that don't hurt. It's imperative that I take care of my feet. They are the base of my structure. I have to make them happy. They are the ones who absorb all of the shock of running and carrying this frame (and it's not that small of a frame).
Work seems to be good. I am enjoying my job. I like the people that I work with, all of them in fact. I am working on moving up. I am hopeful, but, if it doesn't happen, I will keep trying and pushing forward. No need to cry in my Cheerios for too long. I still long to do massage. I love doing it, and it makes me feel at peace with life. Not too sure why, but, it does. I just can't do 7 in a day and not hurt from it. I still have dreams for it. About getting a job as the corporate massage therapist for Gravity Payments. I know it would be an amazing adventure to do that. I keep trying. Tonight it may be wishful thinking, but, something in the back of my head says don't give up, it's only a matter of time.
Lastly, there is that one topic that I have failed to mention. The 45th. I am not a fan. I am not pleased with the idea of him deconstructing our environmental protections so his cronies can make more money and fuck the rest of us. I am not happy with our Senate selling our private browser history to companies. Talk about invasion of privacy. I am not happy with the many things going on in our government. I am pleased to see more conversations that need to happen being out there. I am glad that people are taking action. I am however, saddened by how many don't vote. Thinking that my vote doesn't matter. There is so much that matters, and voting is one of those things that I feel super strongly about. I find him to be in over his head. He pouts like a child who doesn't get his way. He is slanderous of our media. He thinks that banning a religious group is going to somehow keep the bad people out. He is so many many things, but, I can't see any good coming from this administration. I see a lot of discrimination, a lot of hate and bigotry, a lot of the worst of people. And it makes me feel like they asked for it.
I think my love would make a fine president. If he could make it through the election process. He is so very intelligent, so very keen on human nature. I love what says about so many things. And don't get me wrong, I don't agree with him on everything, how can I? We see things differently due to our upbringing and experiences. But we work together to make things workable. He is one of a kind, and I love that about him.
If you're upset about the way things are going in your political arena, I suggest you speak up. Do something for your cause. I may not be able to do much, but I can write. I can and I will continue to write as long as I am permitted to do so. Hopefully, when I do, it's educated and I don't make an ass of myself in the process. And even if I do, oh well. I have had thoughts over the years on how to solve the problems in our country, and they have been bad ideas. Ideas that are impractical and stupid. And the beauty of it, is I can change my mind, and say, I was wrong about this. That's a bad idea.
Time to get moving now, there is ice cream in the freeze and fresh strawberries for dessert... Wanna know how I remember to spell dessert? It has two s's. Because it's so sweet... Night all!
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