Sense of entitlement

The last two months I have been very sad that I have not been able to write nearly as much as I would like to.  I have had the privilege to be a part of two young ladies lives for the past five to seven years, depending on the girl.  Both of them are wonderful girls, I love them both dearly and hope that as long as I'm alive, I am able to be a part of their lives.  However, that being said, I don't understand what they are doing or why they think they have this sense of entitlement about them.  I want something so if you don't give it to me I am going to throw a 7 year old size tantrum in the middle of the store.  I don't get it.

Girl 1.

Lives with her dad.  Smart, funny, likes to laugh, so much fun to be around. Hates herself. Can't understand why she doesn't have a boyfriend, yet, wants nothing to do with males at this time. (I don't blame her, she's had a rough time with them.). I should add here that I dearly love these two, they are wonderful kids but they have no clue!! Visits her mom every other weekend and every other Christmas. Has a bad trip to the valley, doesn't say anything to her dad before she's gone for the holiday. She texts her dad, but won't call. Then all of the sudden, it's I hate you, I can't live with you anymore, it's just too horrible to deal with! Ok. In my day, my parents would have said suck it up and deal with it! In fact, I tell that to Piper. To get along in this world, you have to be able to deal with the bad as well as the good. Come to find out, the guy she was just starting to date, told her a pack of lies, used her and then, like a boss, broke up over the phone over Christmas. Classy dude! Since then, she can't deal with her dad and so she stays somewhere safe but not home. Breaks her dad's heart, but she goes over there and is seemingly trying to make it better between them. I can't hate that, but boy, thinking about this makes me incredibly angry. In fact I was steaming mad over it, but I hold my tongue.  Her dad has sole custody and has rules and won't give in to her every whim, and she knows this.  It was part of why she liked living there, there are rules and she knows that if she follows them, she gets her freedom so long as she does her part of the household chores.  Guess the other one doens't make her do shit and she still gets everything she wants, and all of her freedom.

Girl 2.

Again, smart girl, fun to be around, likes to laugh.  Lives with mom, didn't know dad until about, 3 years ago.  Now dad wants her to be part of his new family.  Hasn't seen her in years, but, when he does, it's all about the stuff.  I can give you all sorts of stuff and make you love me becasue I can get you stuff where your mom will tell you no.  She got into an argument with mom and it ends with her deciding to take off and move out... with three months to go in school.  Moves to the Valley with someone she barley knows, but they are so much cooler and nicer and smarter than her mom.  Took her a while, but, now, she has seen that there is so much more to being a parent than just stuff.  She has made up with her mom and is doing a whole lot better.  She still knows everything and wants to do it on her own, but, she's talking to her mom and making an effort.  She will be finishing high school, has a job, is really trying to make her life something she can be proud of.  I am glad that things are working out for her...Gives me hope for the other one. 

Girl 3.

This one is a fun one.  She's a sweet kid, just turned 18, has a great smile, wants to be a good mom (yes, she's had a kid, who was actually born just after her 18th birthday), tries to get things together.  Was with baby's dad... Was living with her dad and her stepmom (her mom passed away when she was very young and dad has been doing it all himself since then) and then all of the sudden, she's done with baby's dad and now is totally into a man who is her dad's age, is actually a good friend of her dad's.  She moves in with him.  Dad is upset because, that's his daughter and that was his friend.  She's totally into this new guy, she thinks life will be great, and then, it's not.  She doesn't want to be over there anymore, she's not happy and she is having issues with new man.  I told her dad, this horrible thing happens to girls, it's called pride.  We are too busy showing you that we know what we're doing that we forget that our parents are people too and that they have feelings that get hurt when the one you love walks all over them.  She has since started to come around.  Before, she wasn't speaking to her dad, didn't want him to see the baby, didn't want any help.  This past week, saw her and baby's dad with her dad smiling and having fun buying wipes for the baby.  Baby was spending the night with grandpa, grandpa was very happy, she was looking a whole lot happier than before, and even baby's daddy was happy. 

The dilemma with these three girls:

What I don't understand, is how can one grow up knowing what kind of a person their parents are, knowing what's gone on, knowing that one parent is exactly the way the seem to others, while the other parent is just wanting to be a parent to see what they can get out of it, and still think that the one who raised them is the bees knees... I don't understand it, but then, not everything is for me to understand.  I am only here to make sure that they know that they are loved by me and help in any way that I can. 


It's not fair and what makes me the most angry is that I see this as part of generation of young people who have no clue. They walk through life thinking that if someone doesn't let them do what ever the fuck they want whenever they want, they are going to have a huge meltdown and the whole world is going to collapse.  I can't even give them the advise that I have learned the hard way because they think I'm pretty much full of shit.  I used to think that my mother was nuts when she told me to think good thoughts, and your perception is reality.  I have to say that she was right.  Life is exactly what I think it is.  If I think it's awesome and wonderful, then it is.  If I think that life is this horrible thing and everyone owes me something because (as girl 1 likes to put it) I didn't ask to be born, if you didn't want me then you should have had an abortion (stabbing wound through the heart there).  And she goes around acting like the victim in life.  It's always someone else's fault for what happened to her.  I have told her that bad things happen to people, and while I wish it wasn't the case, there is nothing I can do to fix the past.  What you need to do, is look up and see that there is more to life than what happened in the past.  Life is a series of moments and when you spend all of those precious moments thinking about how bad things are, that's all your life will ever be. 

I want them all to see the beauty of the world without thinking that unless they are handed it on a silver platter then it just doesn't concern them.  I want them to know that just because there are bad people out there, it doesn't mean that you have to live your whole life trying to please them.  If they don't love you, it's their lose, not yours.  There is a whole world, about 7 billion people out there, and I'm sure that there are literally millions of them who would love you and treat you like you are a worthy wonderful girl that they are.  I want them to realize their life is not the sum of the bad things that have happened or the evil people who have tried to pollute their minds.  It is exactly what you make of it.  It could be beautiful and wonderful and the most awesome thing ever, or it could totally suck the happiness out of you.  I choose to be happy, I choose to be beautiful, and mostly I choose to enjoy the time that I have here, use it to my benefit, and love... totally and completely my kids, my lover, my family, my friends.  I choose joy.  That is all for now... Peace