Since the turn of the last century, we have seen an increase in the use of massage going from something only the rich enjoy to something many people, of all walks of life get use out of.
As a therapist, you see all kinds of people every week. From ones who have no real soft tissue problems to the most extreme kind of pain from sleeping in a bad position. In all these cases, you never tire of hearing how great they feel afterwards.
The trend over the last few years, is to have a therapist on-site to do chair massages as well as having a small room set up for full hour massages. Thanks to The Intern and timeless ever stunning Rene Russo, there is even more focus on the benefits of having this kind of an addition to any company. In recent times, the Sacramento 911 emergency dispatch center began to bring in a massage therapist to do chair massages, and help relieve some of the stress from working in this kind of environment. The results were nothing short of astonishing. The company turnover rate went down by 40% while at the same time decreasing stress levels, increased productivity, and promoted a more relaxed work place. With these kinds of results, it's a wonder why not every company has a therapist for their office.
In the world of professional and college sports, a massage therapist is a much needed part of their teams. Most teams have many therapists for this job. Teams know how beneficial having a massage is for their players. They can operate at a much higher performance level when their soft tissue doesn't feel like steel cables.
In giving the massage, there are many different aspects to consider in order to make your experience the best we can. We have to think about what is going on with your body right then, what kind of issues are you having, how is your posture, what do you do for a living and how are you feeling right now. We ask these questions to give us an idea of where your tension is going to be. The massage begins. We give our entire energy to you. We want to give you back your quality of life. We talk to your shoulders and back, we take the tension out of your feet and hands, we move muscles in your neck and there is nothing better than hearing, that was the best massage I have ever had.
Massage is a proven stress reliever, it decreases inflammation, increases circulation, promotes better sleep and more relaxation in general. The benefits that a company could reap from this kind of a thing is immeasurable. Imagine for a moment, you are the CEO of a company where most of the employees spend the majority of their time sitting at a computer and talking on the phone. If you could help them to be able to be more productive, less stressed and anxious, and have a better attitude in general, wouldn't that be something worth investing in?
Over the last few months, the buzz around the corporate world is that of one Dan Price, CEO of Gravity Payments, who raised the minimum wage for all employees to 70K a year. I am a huge fan and supporter of him. A company and CEO who sees the people who spend their time there, as valuable parts of the bigger picture makes this a highly sought after company to work for. In 2009, Google boasted having 35 massage therapists working for at their facility, who are there to make the day better for other employees. Again, another example of where taking care of the personnel makes this a very competitive place to get into. Chicago law firm Kovitz Shifrin Nesbit offers a free 20 minute massage once every two months, and employees are able to do more for $20 if they are in need of one before their scheduled time. There are many companies that have seen an increase in work productivity and a decrease in turnover rates since implementing such benefits. Not all companies are able to do what Mr. Price has been able to do, however, why not try a different approach to keeping your employees happy?
Raises are always nice to get, and if possible, I tend to think that it's a good incentive to come to work when you feel properly compensated, but, that's not a reality for all companies. Instead, try adding a massage therapist. They are trained in chair massages as well as table massages and the benefits can only help with the bottom line of your company. Stress is a never ending evil that we all go through and will continue to do so as long as we are alive. There are so many different types of stress. What we do to our bodies is considered stressful as well.
In my opinion, computers were the worst thing to ever happen to the human body. We spend countless hours every week sitting in front of our computer either working or playing. It can be very repetitive and over the years cause problems with our posture, our hands and wrists, and our backs. But it doesn't have to stay that way. If you're still not sure if this is right for your company, try it for a day and see what happens. You just may be surprised.
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Monday, August 3, 2015
Extinction of a Species
For the last few days, maybe even a week or so by now, I have seen a lot of people blasting this doctor in Minnesota for shooting a lion. On the other side of that, I have a lot of religious conservative friends who are saying that this lion means nothing compared to the amount of babies that are aborted every year. That those lives are much more important than that of a species that is about to become on the endangered species list.
For those who know me, I am hugely pro choice. It's my choice and if it makes you angry, then leave me alone. I don't try to convince you that no man should ever tell you what you should and shouldn't do with your body. I don't try to post photos all over my Facebook page saying that it's so morally wrong to make an informed decision as an adult. I don't try to convince you that you and I see things very differently.
However, in this case, I will have to say something. Things that bother me about this. Let's see, to start with, I will talk about the lion first. I don't see how baiting an animal is very humane. I don't think that using a bow and arrow for this kind of hunt is fair, when you actually kill it with a gun. No, you should have to use another arrow or go up to it with a knife and have to kill it that way... Good luck sneaking up on that cat. He's probably pissed off and hurt and ready to kill you... I think that would be much more fair to do it that way.
Now, for the abortions... Well, in 1973, the United States Supreme Court ruled in a landmark case, of a vote of 7-2 that it is a woman's right to chose to have an abortion or not. However, the states have now gotten involved with it and make it as nearly impossible for women to get one, as humanly possible. These people are also the ones who say that welfare must be stopped and what is wrong with our country that so many people are on welfare, living off the states. Well, let's look at that one for a few minutes.
I know that most of these people will get their ideas of life and death and the afterlife from a book. A book that, for me, has way to many inconsistencies for me to believe it. Sorry, just the way that goes. However, that doesn't mean that for the first 20 something years of my life I didn't put my whole faith into it. This is what I learned... Human life is the only life that matters, forget other kinds of animals. Killing is in no way justified, unless you're at war with some country and god says it's ok to kill them and take their land, and make them into slaves. In which case, by all means.... Go for it. The first part of the book says that the earth is bare of people and we are to go populate it. Well, at last count, the world's population is hovering around 7.5 billion people. That's a lot!! Wow, and so many of them live in China and India. Like, more people than I could count in a lifetime.... or four lifetimes for that matter. The truth is, there are more people right now, than what our planet can sustain and still manage to protect our earth. We pollute everything, we think it's our right to know everything that the government does, (no, it's not a right, nor do you really want to know the whole truth) we have created diseases by our eating habits, we have poisoned our foods, and think it's ok to use this as a way to make money (think pharmaceutical companies, insurance companies), and then, we punish those who try to make themselves better by making them look as bad as possible.
We are the only species on the planet that destroys our environment. And then, we kill off other species entirely. IN fact, as humans, we are responsible for the total annihilation of over 1000 different kinds of animals over the last 500 years. That's the complete devastation of one animal every two years. If humans were on the endangered species list, I could see where abortion would be a bad thing... however, we are not on that list. And it's our job to keep the ones that are on that list alive. As the Dali Lama has said, it's a prime purpose to help others and if we cannot help others, at least don't hurt them.
Is an unborn child a person? I won't even debate that, and whether or not it is a valid argument is irrelevant. But, to hunt a spices to the point of elimination from existence, is totally irreprehensible.
Where I live, we use hunting as means to control the population. We have to keep it in check or they overpopulate and then starve two years later because there is no food for them to eat, due to over population. There must be a balance. I can't say that sport hunting is a bad thing either, as long as you're still using the animal for food and other things... Illegal hunting to me is a chicken shit way of doing things and should be stopped. Hunting big game animals is not something that I am totally against. I get it. There is a thrill to it, though I have never killed anything (other than the occasional spider in my bedroom or a mosquito). I don't see how hunting a giraffe can be a sport. I don't see how hunting to have a trophy on the wall is something to aspire to. But this goes back to not everyone likes everything.
We live in a place that boasts freedom, and yet, when anyone does something that they want, and they are able to and it's legal, we go on a witch hunt for them because they did something others don't like. I had protesters outside when I had an abortion... that made me feel like a real winner. I was doing something that in my heart was the right thing. I wasn't ready, I didn't want to have kids then, and I wasn't ready to be fully responsible for another person. I was not ready and I am so glad that I did that. There are those out there who use abortion as a form of birth control, but, I can't speak for them. I can speak for those who are responsible women who have made that choice because it was the best decision for them. I am with you, I know that feeling, and I know it was a hard choice to make. We have gotten through it, some better than others, but, we are stronger for having gone through it. Don't let anyone tell you that they know your struggles better than you do and that you had choices... You did, and that's the one you choose. There should be no shame in it.
By comparing human life to that of an animal we might as well be saying oranges aren't as good as cucumbers. Which, in reality have nothing to do with the other. Stop comparing, stop pushing, stop thinking that you can control people by taking away their rights... I don't understand... I have been around the world, and I still say this... people are all the same. We all want the same things. We want to be happy, to be loved, to return another's love, to give our kids things that we never had... But let's keep the animals so they can enjoy them too. I would hate to have to tell my daughters that, well, I have seen a tiger in a zoo once, but now, they have all been killed and you won't ever see them. Again.. Ever.. They are totally gone... Sorry Charlie. I don't want to give that to them.
Hunting was for food, or in a country such as Kenya, I would think to keep your kids safe at night. The movie, The Ghost and The Darkness was a prime example of how lions became accustomed to the taste of man and the devastation that it can bring. These massive lions, who were later to be found to be both males who were mane less, were examples of how we are not at the top of the food chain, in any way. They were referred to as The Ghost and The Darkness, each their respective names. I have seen photos of them in the Field Museum in Chicago, and wow, talk about a scary sight to behold, and yet, so amazing. Animals who can hunt and track and act like a mammal who is somewhat aware, is breathtaking to behold... (I will get back to that whole thing of we are not the only aware beings on the planet at a later time :).
Anyhow, I am sure I am off topic at this point, so I will have to end my rant for the day. Until tomorrow, or the next time there is injustice, I will be back.. :)
For those who know me, I am hugely pro choice. It's my choice and if it makes you angry, then leave me alone. I don't try to convince you that no man should ever tell you what you should and shouldn't do with your body. I don't try to post photos all over my Facebook page saying that it's so morally wrong to make an informed decision as an adult. I don't try to convince you that you and I see things very differently.
However, in this case, I will have to say something. Things that bother me about this. Let's see, to start with, I will talk about the lion first. I don't see how baiting an animal is very humane. I don't think that using a bow and arrow for this kind of hunt is fair, when you actually kill it with a gun. No, you should have to use another arrow or go up to it with a knife and have to kill it that way... Good luck sneaking up on that cat. He's probably pissed off and hurt and ready to kill you... I think that would be much more fair to do it that way.
Now, for the abortions... Well, in 1973, the United States Supreme Court ruled in a landmark case, of a vote of 7-2 that it is a woman's right to chose to have an abortion or not. However, the states have now gotten involved with it and make it as nearly impossible for women to get one, as humanly possible. These people are also the ones who say that welfare must be stopped and what is wrong with our country that so many people are on welfare, living off the states. Well, let's look at that one for a few minutes.
I know that most of these people will get their ideas of life and death and the afterlife from a book. A book that, for me, has way to many inconsistencies for me to believe it. Sorry, just the way that goes. However, that doesn't mean that for the first 20 something years of my life I didn't put my whole faith into it. This is what I learned... Human life is the only life that matters, forget other kinds of animals. Killing is in no way justified, unless you're at war with some country and god says it's ok to kill them and take their land, and make them into slaves. In which case, by all means.... Go for it. The first part of the book says that the earth is bare of people and we are to go populate it. Well, at last count, the world's population is hovering around 7.5 billion people. That's a lot!! Wow, and so many of them live in China and India. Like, more people than I could count in a lifetime.... or four lifetimes for that matter. The truth is, there are more people right now, than what our planet can sustain and still manage to protect our earth. We pollute everything, we think it's our right to know everything that the government does, (no, it's not a right, nor do you really want to know the whole truth) we have created diseases by our eating habits, we have poisoned our foods, and think it's ok to use this as a way to make money (think pharmaceutical companies, insurance companies), and then, we punish those who try to make themselves better by making them look as bad as possible.
We are the only species on the planet that destroys our environment. And then, we kill off other species entirely. IN fact, as humans, we are responsible for the total annihilation of over 1000 different kinds of animals over the last 500 years. That's the complete devastation of one animal every two years. If humans were on the endangered species list, I could see where abortion would be a bad thing... however, we are not on that list. And it's our job to keep the ones that are on that list alive. As the Dali Lama has said, it's a prime purpose to help others and if we cannot help others, at least don't hurt them.
Is an unborn child a person? I won't even debate that, and whether or not it is a valid argument is irrelevant. But, to hunt a spices to the point of elimination from existence, is totally irreprehensible.
Where I live, we use hunting as means to control the population. We have to keep it in check or they overpopulate and then starve two years later because there is no food for them to eat, due to over population. There must be a balance. I can't say that sport hunting is a bad thing either, as long as you're still using the animal for food and other things... Illegal hunting to me is a chicken shit way of doing things and should be stopped. Hunting big game animals is not something that I am totally against. I get it. There is a thrill to it, though I have never killed anything (other than the occasional spider in my bedroom or a mosquito). I don't see how hunting a giraffe can be a sport. I don't see how hunting to have a trophy on the wall is something to aspire to. But this goes back to not everyone likes everything.
We live in a place that boasts freedom, and yet, when anyone does something that they want, and they are able to and it's legal, we go on a witch hunt for them because they did something others don't like. I had protesters outside when I had an abortion... that made me feel like a real winner. I was doing something that in my heart was the right thing. I wasn't ready, I didn't want to have kids then, and I wasn't ready to be fully responsible for another person. I was not ready and I am so glad that I did that. There are those out there who use abortion as a form of birth control, but, I can't speak for them. I can speak for those who are responsible women who have made that choice because it was the best decision for them. I am with you, I know that feeling, and I know it was a hard choice to make. We have gotten through it, some better than others, but, we are stronger for having gone through it. Don't let anyone tell you that they know your struggles better than you do and that you had choices... You did, and that's the one you choose. There should be no shame in it.
By comparing human life to that of an animal we might as well be saying oranges aren't as good as cucumbers. Which, in reality have nothing to do with the other. Stop comparing, stop pushing, stop thinking that you can control people by taking away their rights... I don't understand... I have been around the world, and I still say this... people are all the same. We all want the same things. We want to be happy, to be loved, to return another's love, to give our kids things that we never had... But let's keep the animals so they can enjoy them too. I would hate to have to tell my daughters that, well, I have seen a tiger in a zoo once, but now, they have all been killed and you won't ever see them. Again.. Ever.. They are totally gone... Sorry Charlie. I don't want to give that to them.
Hunting was for food, or in a country such as Kenya, I would think to keep your kids safe at night. The movie, The Ghost and The Darkness was a prime example of how lions became accustomed to the taste of man and the devastation that it can bring. These massive lions, who were later to be found to be both males who were mane less, were examples of how we are not at the top of the food chain, in any way. They were referred to as The Ghost and The Darkness, each their respective names. I have seen photos of them in the Field Museum in Chicago, and wow, talk about a scary sight to behold, and yet, so amazing. Animals who can hunt and track and act like a mammal who is somewhat aware, is breathtaking to behold... (I will get back to that whole thing of we are not the only aware beings on the planet at a later time :).
Anyhow, I am sure I am off topic at this point, so I will have to end my rant for the day. Until tomorrow, or the next time there is injustice, I will be back.. :)
Friday, June 5, 2015
Defining Heroes
As much as I hate to jump on any bandwagon and spoute stupid shit at others, I may have to do that today. For the past week or so, the person in the media everywhere is the new and improved and happy with themselves, Catilyn Jenner. Personally, I couldn't care less about this person, or what they are doing. However, I think that in order for others to see what I am talking about, I have to put this out there.
From the time I was a little girl, I had three heroes. One, my dad. He's just awesome and he's a fun guy and he's someone that I use to compare men to. If they have a sense of humor, if they are polite, if they are kind to others, that kind of thing. My next one, Joe Montana. He was my favorite football player and his actions off the field were more of what makes me like him. He's not in the tabloids, he's not under investigation ever, he was a team player and gave credit for other people's greatness. I really liked him. Last, Harrison Ford. I still like him. I still go see his movies, I still love the thought of him being Han Solo one more time. He was someone who, to me, embodied the Great American Hero kind of idea. Not everyone will agree with me, most don't know my dad, but he's really cool.
As a grown woman, I now have more heroes for different reasons and for different kind of things. The reason they have become my hero is because they have stood up for what they believed in. Every one of the LESS THAN 1% of American's who have signed a contract giving all over to the government are my heroes. They have given up what most wouldn't. They are my friends, they are people whom I love and trust and I know lots of them. For me, a hero is someone who is inspiring to others. Someone who gives hope for other people, someone who paves the way for others to come up next. They may not all be the same, and there are reason why I admire some and not others, but, that's how I define a hero.
I have seen a lot of my friends say that there is no way that this person can be a hero. She didn't sign up for the military or give her life or limbs for the betterment of the country, she can't be a hero. Heroes are only military, or firemen, or policemen, those who put themselves in the way of harm to protect others. Well, of course these people are heroes, and they all deserve to be treated with respect (so if you think that policemen are pigs and don't deserve respect because they are always harassing you, perhaps you should think about not breaking the law then). With that being said, Gandhi is a hero who wasn't a military person or policeman or fireman, and I think of Gandhi as a hero.
A hero can be anyone. It could me, it could be you. It could be the guy down the street from you who did something extraordinary in a moment of selfless devotion. It could be the guy who ran in the touchdown on 4th and goal to have their team take the state title. It could be the kid at school who stands up to the bully and gets their ass handed to them, but, they did what was right and stood up when no one else did. Heroes can be skinny or fat or short or tall. They can have small breasts or no breasts. They could be someone who was on their way home and stopped to help an old homeless man have a warm fabulous meal. To say that Ms. Jenner isn't a hero is totally negating what kind of courage it takes to be true.
Being true to ourselves is one of the hardest things we do. We want others to like us and see the potential that we have. Yet we all wear these masks that hide who we truly are from the world. Only a few of us every take them off long enough to see who we really are. And the majority of people are afraid of themselves. What if they aren't nice to others and people don't like them anymore? What if I think badly of others, does that make me a bad person? If I have a bad day and scream and shout at people that I love because of my anger, am I bad parent? What if I have thoughts of doing harm, to myself or others? Am I a bad person because of it? No. The answer to all of these questions is no. Thinking about others when they anger you doesn't make you a bad person. Road rage that ends in the death of someone who didn't see you and cut you off makes you a bad person. Our thoughts alone don't make us one way or the other. What we do, how we react to our situations is what makes us good or bad.
The fact remains that, not everyone will view what Bruce Jenner did as heroic. Not everyone wants to see it either. But for this person, they have brought to light what only some want to understand. There is a population of people out there who are transgender who have taken who they are at one point and become who they are now. It takes a great deal of courage to be able to look at ones self in the mirror and know that, that's not who they are, and they will change what they see in the mirror to match who they are on the inside. There is a population of people who have taken their own lives, because they couldn't accept who they were, or those they loved couldn't accept them for it.
So, the next time you are scrolling through your news feed and see something that says that only military are true heroes, consider what a hero is. Not everyone believes in the same thing, so naturally, not everyone will have the same kind of heroes. Please stop bashing this person. I can't imagine what it was like living a lie for that many years. I can't imagine what life had to be like to go along with what others expected because it's not normal. I can only hope that eventually, this shit will die down and I won't have to see it at all. Good For Her! Welcome to being a girl :)
From the time I was a little girl, I had three heroes. One, my dad. He's just awesome and he's a fun guy and he's someone that I use to compare men to. If they have a sense of humor, if they are polite, if they are kind to others, that kind of thing. My next one, Joe Montana. He was my favorite football player and his actions off the field were more of what makes me like him. He's not in the tabloids, he's not under investigation ever, he was a team player and gave credit for other people's greatness. I really liked him. Last, Harrison Ford. I still like him. I still go see his movies, I still love the thought of him being Han Solo one more time. He was someone who, to me, embodied the Great American Hero kind of idea. Not everyone will agree with me, most don't know my dad, but he's really cool.
As a grown woman, I now have more heroes for different reasons and for different kind of things. The reason they have become my hero is because they have stood up for what they believed in. Every one of the LESS THAN 1% of American's who have signed a contract giving all over to the government are my heroes. They have given up what most wouldn't. They are my friends, they are people whom I love and trust and I know lots of them. For me, a hero is someone who is inspiring to others. Someone who gives hope for other people, someone who paves the way for others to come up next. They may not all be the same, and there are reason why I admire some and not others, but, that's how I define a hero.
I have seen a lot of my friends say that there is no way that this person can be a hero. She didn't sign up for the military or give her life or limbs for the betterment of the country, she can't be a hero. Heroes are only military, or firemen, or policemen, those who put themselves in the way of harm to protect others. Well, of course these people are heroes, and they all deserve to be treated with respect (so if you think that policemen are pigs and don't deserve respect because they are always harassing you, perhaps you should think about not breaking the law then). With that being said, Gandhi is a hero who wasn't a military person or policeman or fireman, and I think of Gandhi as a hero.
A hero can be anyone. It could me, it could be you. It could be the guy down the street from you who did something extraordinary in a moment of selfless devotion. It could be the guy who ran in the touchdown on 4th and goal to have their team take the state title. It could be the kid at school who stands up to the bully and gets their ass handed to them, but, they did what was right and stood up when no one else did. Heroes can be skinny or fat or short or tall. They can have small breasts or no breasts. They could be someone who was on their way home and stopped to help an old homeless man have a warm fabulous meal. To say that Ms. Jenner isn't a hero is totally negating what kind of courage it takes to be true.
Being true to ourselves is one of the hardest things we do. We want others to like us and see the potential that we have. Yet we all wear these masks that hide who we truly are from the world. Only a few of us every take them off long enough to see who we really are. And the majority of people are afraid of themselves. What if they aren't nice to others and people don't like them anymore? What if I think badly of others, does that make me a bad person? If I have a bad day and scream and shout at people that I love because of my anger, am I bad parent? What if I have thoughts of doing harm, to myself or others? Am I a bad person because of it? No. The answer to all of these questions is no. Thinking about others when they anger you doesn't make you a bad person. Road rage that ends in the death of someone who didn't see you and cut you off makes you a bad person. Our thoughts alone don't make us one way or the other. What we do, how we react to our situations is what makes us good or bad.
The fact remains that, not everyone will view what Bruce Jenner did as heroic. Not everyone wants to see it either. But for this person, they have brought to light what only some want to understand. There is a population of people out there who are transgender who have taken who they are at one point and become who they are now. It takes a great deal of courage to be able to look at ones self in the mirror and know that, that's not who they are, and they will change what they see in the mirror to match who they are on the inside. There is a population of people who have taken their own lives, because they couldn't accept who they were, or those they loved couldn't accept them for it.
So, the next time you are scrolling through your news feed and see something that says that only military are true heroes, consider what a hero is. Not everyone believes in the same thing, so naturally, not everyone will have the same kind of heroes. Please stop bashing this person. I can't imagine what it was like living a lie for that many years. I can't imagine what life had to be like to go along with what others expected because it's not normal. I can only hope that eventually, this shit will die down and I won't have to see it at all. Good For Her! Welcome to being a girl :)
Thursday, May 21, 2015
Or Not
I love it when you most need something, it seems to magically happen... Though I had thought things were going to go totally opposite of what I was thinking, it now could very well be as we had hoped... I love being vague... I have no idea really, but, hope has been restored as well as my resolve to be optimistic about everything.
Defeated
I am normally a very happy optimistic person. I try to see things from both sides of an issue, I avoid a lot of confrontation with those that I am close to. I hate it when people argue and make each other feel like a piece of shit. I really don't like the feeling of giving up and admitting defeat in any way. It breaks me down in a way that nothing else does. This morning, I was told that I have to accept things as they are and be able to be grateful for the way they are right now.
I cried at this. Why do I feel that accepting defeat is a bad thing. Just means that there are other options out there, right? I can't see those other options right now. I am blinded by my own tears of disappointment. I'm mad at myself for letting me get my hopes up in the first place. But what is our existence without hope? It's something that we cling to in the darkest times of our life, feeling like we know that if we just hang on a little longer, something great is going to come along. And we wait and wait and wait for something... anything. It's funny to me how I feel about hope. Some days I am very happy and joyful and more hope in life than I can possibly explain. And then I have days like today. There is nothing wrong, I slept pretty good, I enjoyed my morning with my love, and got into the car to come to work, and BAM! It was like, everything that I had been thinking would happen just suddenly disappeared and in it's place all I could see was exactly where I was right then. And that's all that I see.
I love where I live, it's home for me. But there is so much more out there that I want to be a part of. I have the picture of this place that I want to live. It's a real place and it's lovely and beautiful and amazing, and offers so many more things that I cannot get or do here. It's where I long to be. It's where we as a group are hoping to get to. It's where I want to send Piper to school. I have seen myself there, working, writing, running, loving life, swimming, being able to be a mom who is home when my little one gets home. And for as much as I want to be there, I was told that it's probably not going to happen this year. I feel very let down at this. I had envisioned myself finishing up with my last class for my Associates Degree in General Studies, and then being able to start school in the fall in this beautiful place. And now, I just don't know what I see for myself. I don't see it going the way we had hoped for.
For me, there is nothing worse than hoping for the best to come, working hard to help it along, and then, it's all dashed away in an instant. I will get over it I'm sure and then I will find something else to look forward to. But for this moment, I am a bit sad. I will drink my coffee, eat my breakfast (left over quesadilla and brownie) and get myself to doing something at work. I hold out on that slim possibility that despite all the stuff that could hold us back, that this miracle will happen and we will be able to start again, in a new place together. It will happen, I know this, but, for now, I will have to put on that happy face and just fake it a lot today. Perhaps I will feel better later on, but, not right this second. I feel like I'm at that point where I am ok... until someone asks if I am ok, then I may just lose my shit and have a breakdown. Or not.
I cried at this. Why do I feel that accepting defeat is a bad thing. Just means that there are other options out there, right? I can't see those other options right now. I am blinded by my own tears of disappointment. I'm mad at myself for letting me get my hopes up in the first place. But what is our existence without hope? It's something that we cling to in the darkest times of our life, feeling like we know that if we just hang on a little longer, something great is going to come along. And we wait and wait and wait for something... anything. It's funny to me how I feel about hope. Some days I am very happy and joyful and more hope in life than I can possibly explain. And then I have days like today. There is nothing wrong, I slept pretty good, I enjoyed my morning with my love, and got into the car to come to work, and BAM! It was like, everything that I had been thinking would happen just suddenly disappeared and in it's place all I could see was exactly where I was right then. And that's all that I see.
I love where I live, it's home for me. But there is so much more out there that I want to be a part of. I have the picture of this place that I want to live. It's a real place and it's lovely and beautiful and amazing, and offers so many more things that I cannot get or do here. It's where I long to be. It's where we as a group are hoping to get to. It's where I want to send Piper to school. I have seen myself there, working, writing, running, loving life, swimming, being able to be a mom who is home when my little one gets home. And for as much as I want to be there, I was told that it's probably not going to happen this year. I feel very let down at this. I had envisioned myself finishing up with my last class for my Associates Degree in General Studies, and then being able to start school in the fall in this beautiful place. And now, I just don't know what I see for myself. I don't see it going the way we had hoped for.
For me, there is nothing worse than hoping for the best to come, working hard to help it along, and then, it's all dashed away in an instant. I will get over it I'm sure and then I will find something else to look forward to. But for this moment, I am a bit sad. I will drink my coffee, eat my breakfast (left over quesadilla and brownie) and get myself to doing something at work. I hold out on that slim possibility that despite all the stuff that could hold us back, that this miracle will happen and we will be able to start again, in a new place together. It will happen, I know this, but, for now, I will have to put on that happy face and just fake it a lot today. Perhaps I will feel better later on, but, not right this second. I feel like I'm at that point where I am ok... until someone asks if I am ok, then I may just lose my shit and have a breakdown. Or not.
Monday, April 27, 2015
How do you show them you love them?
It's Monday morning... again, it came like it does every week... It's not that I wasn't prepared for it, I just like being in my bed more. I have released my 7th video today on YouTube, and I must say, I'm pretty excited about it... You should check it out and let me know what you think... Have a great day, may your Monday not be a bad start... Hopefully it's full of awesome amazing wonderful happy surprises that make you smile... Here's the video link for your viewing pleasure.
Happy viewing :)
Happy viewing :)
Thursday, April 23, 2015
Are you valued?
There is much discussion on what it's like to feel undervalued in our lives. From work to our personal events to our kids to our parents, we all seem to know what it's like to feel like we are worthless. But what about the opposite side of that? When was the last time you felt like you were truly valued by the people all around you, not just the ones you hold the closest?
I have had a few jobs, and done different things at each one of them. I always wondered how my little part in the bigger picture made a difference. Did I make a difference to anyone there? Was I valued by my supervisors in any way? Depending on the job and the time, I have wondered this. Even now, I have doubts about it. Where I am at now, I know, for a fact, that I am a big part of what we do here. I know that what I do makes a difference for the people that I work for (my clients that is) and I know that they (my clients) do value what I do. But, this isn't always the case, for me and for many others out there.
When I was 16, I got a job at the local grocery store bringing in carts and sweeping the floors and taking out the track and bagging groceries. Not the most glamorous job I have ever had, but, it was a starting point. I worked endlessly for minimum pay (at that time it was $5.25 an hour.... 20 years ago) for people who saw what I did as the lowest man on the totum pole position. I closed more nights than I should have and I worked for hours in the summer time outside pushing carts. I never really heard thank you from the management team. I mean yes, they would say thank you for doing such a great job scrubbing out the drains in the back room, but, I didn't feel like what I did made a difference. I got to be a cashier the longer that I worked there and that was cooler. Got a raise, yay, and at the end of the day I still felt overworked and undervalued. When I finally quit when I was 19, I moves to the big city to work at a school as financial aid clerk. Wow, talk about a different work environment!! I made a huge difference and what I did was important to the running of the school. I mean, I was a kid, and I had this amazing job and I felt important (mostly) and what I did was important. It was awesome!!
I didn't last long there, about 6 months and then I was fired. Yes, I was fired from a job. So fast forward about a year after that. I was now 21, and in the US Navy. 9/11 had just happened and I was going to the USS John F. Kennedy for the service. My job was to wipe oil off of an engine, sweep and clean the spaces we were in charge of, clean salt water corrosion off of gauge lines, do preventive maintainence on different things, and stand a watch (which consisted of taking reading on gauges of fire pumps in all the pump rooms, 5 of them, and take readings on the air pressure for the air start system on the Emergency Diesel Generators or EDG's) for 4 hours a day, 1 reading on all of these every hour, everyday. We were also in charge of doing a boat report every single day, in port or underway. I failed to see in any way, how what I was doing was making a difference. It was during a time of war, and we did our jobs and because of where I worked in the ship, I just couldn't see it. Even now, I understand why I was there to do that job, but, I fail to see how it helped the mission.
When I got transferred to the West Coast, I became the RPPO for our division (Repair Parts Petty Officer) which meant I got to order parts and write jobs for anything that broke in our division. I was the only female in the division for a while, so naturally, I got (what I call) the bitch work. In the two years that I served on board the USS Boxer, I ordered the wrong part twice. And the reason I still remember this, is because it was such a huge deal that I had messed up and had done something wrong. Not only were the guys surprised that I had screwed up, but so were my male supervisors. Only one of those times did I really get into trouble for it. As the RPPO, I had to just through hoops to get parts, I had to go to other ships for relief valves, I had to get things from the shore parts places. Not only did I have to go get the parts, I had to locate them, write job orders for them, make sure that it was approved and then, I had to get it to the correct shop in a timely manner. One day, the ship was waiting for me to get back so we could get underway. That should give you an idea of how important this job was and how incredibly important it was that I did this job well.
I remember very specifically when I had stayed until long after everyone was already home, coming back from going to a different ship to get a relief valve, my Senior Chief said thank you and good job. I can't tell you how much that meant to me. It was the most rewarding compliment I had been paid in so long. And it was all I needed to hear to keep going for another year before I was paid another compliment. In the military, you are given an evaluation every year. This is where what I did would be noticed. I got the highest eval marks I had ever received as well as an EP (Early Promote). The system only goes to a 5.0. A 3.0 is average. It means you're doing your job well and that you're on your way to making rank. That year, I got a 4.56. I cannot tell you how excited I was. I was also ranked out of the E-5's in our department as number 5. Which means, out of all of the E-5's in our department, only 4 outdid me in job performance. There was over a 50 of us, so being 5th was a great thing for me. I couldn't have been more proud. I knew I was valued and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was important to the mission at hand. I was shit-hot!! It was a great feeling to feel like I mattered to the place I worked. I was on my way to making rank even faster when I made a stupid call, because at 25 you're still making stupid calls, and it all went away.
Devastation is what I felt. Heartbroken at what I had lost, in fact, it hurt so much, that for the first 4 years, YEARS, afterwards, I couldn't talk about it without breaking down and sobbing. It was the worst blow of my professional career that I had ever had. The first two jobs I had after that, I didn't feel like I mattered at all to anyone where I worked. I was as dispensable as anyone could be. The next job, when we had moved to Louisiana, after I had small fry, I wouldn't go so far as to say that I did made a difference, but, to the ones that I worked with, I felt a connection to them. In fact, when faced with even more adversity than I had ever expected, I was able to rely on them more than I thought I would need them, and now, 7 years after I left Sulphur, I still love them and I know that they had made a huge impact on my life.
When I got home, I took a job at Lowe's. It was still being built, and we worked long hard hours everyday getting that store ready. It was so much fun. At first, I was just a cashier. Within a month I was working in the Admin office. This is where we would prepare the deposit for the store, balance the store, and prepare the money for the next day. I loved what I did. Not only did I love what I was doing, but, I know that what I did made a difference. It was a great job! My supervisors were so easy for me to get along with (except the store manager who hated that he told me to get rid of my music and I didn't, because I was not going to spend all day in that room with nothing to listen to. Not even the buzz or hum of the computer) and I couldn't have asked for a better group of people to be around. I loved it so much. I feel like I grew up while I was there too. I was going through a divorce at the time, and I spent a lot of time crying in my office alone. I started dating a guy I worked with and when that didn't work out either, I was once again, left crying in my office a lot. I was there two and half years before I decided to go back to school.
Once in school, I knew I didn't want to be at work anymore. I loved all that I was learning and loved that what I was learning, was changing my whole life for the better. It was that life changing event that makes your eyes open and you feel like you know what's going on for the first time in your life. It was amazing. I started to hate being at work, not because I didn't like working, but, because I wanted to learn more. When I decided to quit and do a work study program, all of my work colleagues were surprised as well as shocked. I mean, who leaves the perfect job to go to school for less money and less hours?!
Miss Charlotte was the most awesome lady I have ever worked for and I am so glad that I got to know her. In life you don't get to choose who your family is, but, I will forever consider her to be my family, that's how much she made me feel like I was worth it. I wouldn't be where I am without her, that's for sure. On my last day, Miss Charlotte brought my a beautiful arrangement of fall flowers and made me feel like I was really going to be missed. I couldn't have asked for a better send off. It was amazing and I cried knowing that I was leaving someone that I loved.
Well, the work study program didn't work quite as well as I had hoped for. It did allow me to learn so much and my teacher was always saying thank you for your work and I loved it. It was well worth the time that I spend there. But, when it came down to it, I needed to get paid and it wasn't happening like I had needed it to. So, I went back to Lowe's. I was to work up front at the Customer Service Desk and I did like that... I'm not going to lie, it was fun. I worked part time, took shifts when I could, got to work almost as much as I did when I was full time. Just had to do it on the weekends now too. I know that the people that I worked for liked having me there, I was a good part of the team, and I enjoyed it. Up to a point that is.
Once out of school, I took a Head Cashier position, and then, the position that I really wanted came up. It was for receiving clerk. I so wanted this job! But, I didn't get it. Instead I took a different position of LTL Stocker. This was, by far, the most thankless, hardest, physically demanding job I had had since being on the Kennedy. I worked so hard at it! I was there doing that for just about exactly a year. And within that year, I had worked so hard in a position that was so unappreciated and made to feel like I was so worthless that when the opportunity came up to work full time as a Massage Therapist, I took it. Instantly, I took it. I was heartbroken when I left. My boss didn't speak to me from the time I turned in my notice until after I left. No one said a word to me when I left that last day, and I cried a lot over this. It was heartbreaking not only because I felt like a piece of shit most days after leaving work, but, because I was leaving, my family that I had been with from a very hard time in my life to that time (I had my family that I lived with, but these people had seem me at my worst and my best and they were, in essence, my family).
There have been good days and bad days working as an LMT. I know what I do makes a difference, yet, hearing it more than once a year is really nice. I love love love my clients. They are the reason that I keep coming to work. I feel like I do something to help others and that makes my life so much more fulfilling. I don't always agree with everyone here, but, I know that my clients depend on me, and I don't want to let them down. They are, after all, the reason I have a job. I am so grateful for the people that I have met and the lives that I feel apart of now. My clients value me... that's a fantastic feeling. However, and I say this with as much kindness as I can, I am not paid what I am worth, by a long shot. In the last few weeks, we have been undergoing a lot of changes in our office, and in the long run, it's going to make this place even better, but, with changes comes a lot of stress. I can say that we are all under a great deal of stress and I have no clue when it's going to even out. I am hoping within another month or so. And at that time, I suspect that my boss and I will talk about a lot of things.
After all of my experience with working and life, it seems strange that so many fail to see that a simple thank you for your hard work will take them so far. It's the one thing that makes you feel like you have value and are appreciated. So, for all of you who have employees, kids, friends, make sure you tell them that what they do is important and that you value the work that they put in. Do it often, you will be surprised that amount of respect they give when you show them a little appreciation and kindness. Words are like gunshots. Once they are out, there is no taking it back. Wounds heal after time, but that scar will remain. Take care of the people who work for you, and they will take care of you. Show them you care, pay them well for what they do. And most importantly, realize that how you treat others is a direct reflection of how you treat yourself. By not valuing the people you're around everyday, they will leave and yes, you will have to find someone else to work, but, they are people too, and they have feelings. And they hurt just as much as you do when someone steps all over your feelings. As an adult, I try to not let it show, but, the heart is mysterious thing, and you would be surprised by the scars that it can carry. Take care of others, they are trying to make it in life, just like you.
I have had a few jobs, and done different things at each one of them. I always wondered how my little part in the bigger picture made a difference. Did I make a difference to anyone there? Was I valued by my supervisors in any way? Depending on the job and the time, I have wondered this. Even now, I have doubts about it. Where I am at now, I know, for a fact, that I am a big part of what we do here. I know that what I do makes a difference for the people that I work for (my clients that is) and I know that they (my clients) do value what I do. But, this isn't always the case, for me and for many others out there.
When I was 16, I got a job at the local grocery store bringing in carts and sweeping the floors and taking out the track and bagging groceries. Not the most glamorous job I have ever had, but, it was a starting point. I worked endlessly for minimum pay (at that time it was $5.25 an hour.... 20 years ago) for people who saw what I did as the lowest man on the totum pole position. I closed more nights than I should have and I worked for hours in the summer time outside pushing carts. I never really heard thank you from the management team. I mean yes, they would say thank you for doing such a great job scrubbing out the drains in the back room, but, I didn't feel like what I did made a difference. I got to be a cashier the longer that I worked there and that was cooler. Got a raise, yay, and at the end of the day I still felt overworked and undervalued. When I finally quit when I was 19, I moves to the big city to work at a school as financial aid clerk. Wow, talk about a different work environment!! I made a huge difference and what I did was important to the running of the school. I mean, I was a kid, and I had this amazing job and I felt important (mostly) and what I did was important. It was awesome!!
I didn't last long there, about 6 months and then I was fired. Yes, I was fired from a job. So fast forward about a year after that. I was now 21, and in the US Navy. 9/11 had just happened and I was going to the USS John F. Kennedy for the service. My job was to wipe oil off of an engine, sweep and clean the spaces we were in charge of, clean salt water corrosion off of gauge lines, do preventive maintainence on different things, and stand a watch (which consisted of taking reading on gauges of fire pumps in all the pump rooms, 5 of them, and take readings on the air pressure for the air start system on the Emergency Diesel Generators or EDG's) for 4 hours a day, 1 reading on all of these every hour, everyday. We were also in charge of doing a boat report every single day, in port or underway. I failed to see in any way, how what I was doing was making a difference. It was during a time of war, and we did our jobs and because of where I worked in the ship, I just couldn't see it. Even now, I understand why I was there to do that job, but, I fail to see how it helped the mission.
When I got transferred to the West Coast, I became the RPPO for our division (Repair Parts Petty Officer) which meant I got to order parts and write jobs for anything that broke in our division. I was the only female in the division for a while, so naturally, I got (what I call) the bitch work. In the two years that I served on board the USS Boxer, I ordered the wrong part twice. And the reason I still remember this, is because it was such a huge deal that I had messed up and had done something wrong. Not only were the guys surprised that I had screwed up, but so were my male supervisors. Only one of those times did I really get into trouble for it. As the RPPO, I had to just through hoops to get parts, I had to go to other ships for relief valves, I had to get things from the shore parts places. Not only did I have to go get the parts, I had to locate them, write job orders for them, make sure that it was approved and then, I had to get it to the correct shop in a timely manner. One day, the ship was waiting for me to get back so we could get underway. That should give you an idea of how important this job was and how incredibly important it was that I did this job well.
I remember very specifically when I had stayed until long after everyone was already home, coming back from going to a different ship to get a relief valve, my Senior Chief said thank you and good job. I can't tell you how much that meant to me. It was the most rewarding compliment I had been paid in so long. And it was all I needed to hear to keep going for another year before I was paid another compliment. In the military, you are given an evaluation every year. This is where what I did would be noticed. I got the highest eval marks I had ever received as well as an EP (Early Promote). The system only goes to a 5.0. A 3.0 is average. It means you're doing your job well and that you're on your way to making rank. That year, I got a 4.56. I cannot tell you how excited I was. I was also ranked out of the E-5's in our department as number 5. Which means, out of all of the E-5's in our department, only 4 outdid me in job performance. There was over a 50 of us, so being 5th was a great thing for me. I couldn't have been more proud. I knew I was valued and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was important to the mission at hand. I was shit-hot!! It was a great feeling to feel like I mattered to the place I worked. I was on my way to making rank even faster when I made a stupid call, because at 25 you're still making stupid calls, and it all went away.
Devastation is what I felt. Heartbroken at what I had lost, in fact, it hurt so much, that for the first 4 years, YEARS, afterwards, I couldn't talk about it without breaking down and sobbing. It was the worst blow of my professional career that I had ever had. The first two jobs I had after that, I didn't feel like I mattered at all to anyone where I worked. I was as dispensable as anyone could be. The next job, when we had moved to Louisiana, after I had small fry, I wouldn't go so far as to say that I did made a difference, but, to the ones that I worked with, I felt a connection to them. In fact, when faced with even more adversity than I had ever expected, I was able to rely on them more than I thought I would need them, and now, 7 years after I left Sulphur, I still love them and I know that they had made a huge impact on my life.
When I got home, I took a job at Lowe's. It was still being built, and we worked long hard hours everyday getting that store ready. It was so much fun. At first, I was just a cashier. Within a month I was working in the Admin office. This is where we would prepare the deposit for the store, balance the store, and prepare the money for the next day. I loved what I did. Not only did I love what I was doing, but, I know that what I did made a difference. It was a great job! My supervisors were so easy for me to get along with (except the store manager who hated that he told me to get rid of my music and I didn't, because I was not going to spend all day in that room with nothing to listen to. Not even the buzz or hum of the computer) and I couldn't have asked for a better group of people to be around. I loved it so much. I feel like I grew up while I was there too. I was going through a divorce at the time, and I spent a lot of time crying in my office alone. I started dating a guy I worked with and when that didn't work out either, I was once again, left crying in my office a lot. I was there two and half years before I decided to go back to school.
Once in school, I knew I didn't want to be at work anymore. I loved all that I was learning and loved that what I was learning, was changing my whole life for the better. It was that life changing event that makes your eyes open and you feel like you know what's going on for the first time in your life. It was amazing. I started to hate being at work, not because I didn't like working, but, because I wanted to learn more. When I decided to quit and do a work study program, all of my work colleagues were surprised as well as shocked. I mean, who leaves the perfect job to go to school for less money and less hours?!
Miss Charlotte was the most awesome lady I have ever worked for and I am so glad that I got to know her. In life you don't get to choose who your family is, but, I will forever consider her to be my family, that's how much she made me feel like I was worth it. I wouldn't be where I am without her, that's for sure. On my last day, Miss Charlotte brought my a beautiful arrangement of fall flowers and made me feel like I was really going to be missed. I couldn't have asked for a better send off. It was amazing and I cried knowing that I was leaving someone that I loved.
Well, the work study program didn't work quite as well as I had hoped for. It did allow me to learn so much and my teacher was always saying thank you for your work and I loved it. It was well worth the time that I spend there. But, when it came down to it, I needed to get paid and it wasn't happening like I had needed it to. So, I went back to Lowe's. I was to work up front at the Customer Service Desk and I did like that... I'm not going to lie, it was fun. I worked part time, took shifts when I could, got to work almost as much as I did when I was full time. Just had to do it on the weekends now too. I know that the people that I worked for liked having me there, I was a good part of the team, and I enjoyed it. Up to a point that is.
Once out of school, I took a Head Cashier position, and then, the position that I really wanted came up. It was for receiving clerk. I so wanted this job! But, I didn't get it. Instead I took a different position of LTL Stocker. This was, by far, the most thankless, hardest, physically demanding job I had had since being on the Kennedy. I worked so hard at it! I was there doing that for just about exactly a year. And within that year, I had worked so hard in a position that was so unappreciated and made to feel like I was so worthless that when the opportunity came up to work full time as a Massage Therapist, I took it. Instantly, I took it. I was heartbroken when I left. My boss didn't speak to me from the time I turned in my notice until after I left. No one said a word to me when I left that last day, and I cried a lot over this. It was heartbreaking not only because I felt like a piece of shit most days after leaving work, but, because I was leaving, my family that I had been with from a very hard time in my life to that time (I had my family that I lived with, but these people had seem me at my worst and my best and they were, in essence, my family).
There have been good days and bad days working as an LMT. I know what I do makes a difference, yet, hearing it more than once a year is really nice. I love love love my clients. They are the reason that I keep coming to work. I feel like I do something to help others and that makes my life so much more fulfilling. I don't always agree with everyone here, but, I know that my clients depend on me, and I don't want to let them down. They are, after all, the reason I have a job. I am so grateful for the people that I have met and the lives that I feel apart of now. My clients value me... that's a fantastic feeling. However, and I say this with as much kindness as I can, I am not paid what I am worth, by a long shot. In the last few weeks, we have been undergoing a lot of changes in our office, and in the long run, it's going to make this place even better, but, with changes comes a lot of stress. I can say that we are all under a great deal of stress and I have no clue when it's going to even out. I am hoping within another month or so. And at that time, I suspect that my boss and I will talk about a lot of things.
After all of my experience with working and life, it seems strange that so many fail to see that a simple thank you for your hard work will take them so far. It's the one thing that makes you feel like you have value and are appreciated. So, for all of you who have employees, kids, friends, make sure you tell them that what they do is important and that you value the work that they put in. Do it often, you will be surprised that amount of respect they give when you show them a little appreciation and kindness. Words are like gunshots. Once they are out, there is no taking it back. Wounds heal after time, but that scar will remain. Take care of the people who work for you, and they will take care of you. Show them you care, pay them well for what they do. And most importantly, realize that how you treat others is a direct reflection of how you treat yourself. By not valuing the people you're around everyday, they will leave and yes, you will have to find someone else to work, but, they are people too, and they have feelings. And they hurt just as much as you do when someone steps all over your feelings. As an adult, I try to not let it show, but, the heart is mysterious thing, and you would be surprised by the scars that it can carry. Take care of others, they are trying to make it in life, just like you.
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