The last few weeks, I have been doing a video series on YouTube about becoming a better you. I have this all lined out in my head and aside from saying um too much, I am thinking they are not as bad as I think. I'm actually pretty pleased with them. And what makes me laugh is that when I do them, I am not in the best of moods.
I am a firm believer in, in order to change the world, we must change ourselves first. We have to be the change that we want to see in the world. To do that, we have to become better versions of ourselves.
The question then becomes how do I become the best me possible. As much as we overthink this kind of thing, it's really not as hard or as bad as one would think. I love how much I know that I have the power to change the way my life is. I have the power to become the best me. I am the one who is making the choices and I am the one who can make better ones.
So how do you become a better person? For me, it's taken a lot of time and energy, reading, learning and experiencing all facets of life. I have read many books on it, and I have put into practice those ideas expressed in such books. I am a big fan of Linda West, Doreen Virtue, and Louise Hay. I have studied Bob Proctor, Joe Vitale and Matthew Dixon's books. I love what they have to say about us as humans and how we really do create our life with out thoughts.
I have started to put out a video series on YouTube on Becoming a Better You. In the first video, I talked about how, often times in life, if we are dissatisfied with our current situation, we have the power to change it by, cleaning it out. Just as you would clean out your closet if you wanted to get new clothes, you have to be willing to part with items that are something of a comforting nature in order to make room for things that are bigger better brighter. The second video I talked about learning to love the person that you are right now. Not six months from now when you loose so much weight or become a great well know author. No, loving yourself right now. This very moment and accepting the way that you are right now. Know that if you don't life what you see, then you have two choices. Make a change or accept it and move onto something else. In the third video I talked about finding your passion and yourself. Whatever it is that you have passion for, get out and do it. Stop wishing that you could (fill in the blank here)...... and get up and do it. Time waits for no one and there are a few things that you won't ever get back, time is one of them. Spend it doing something that makes you feel alive. It's what you wake up thinking about wanting to do. (For the sake of the internet, I did say that it should be in reason and legal). In today's video, I wanted to tell you a little bit about me. What I like, where I'm at, what I do. I have started to do a fun fact so you get to know little quirks about me as well.
I have to admit, I am really enjoying doing these videos. I tend to hate the way that I look in them, so as soon as I am done, I delete the video from my phone so I don't set and criticize everything about it, like, I tend to stare into space and say um too much and things like that. I hope that you all like it, it's a really cool thing for me... Until next time, have a great day. Peace...
Thursday, March 12, 2015
Saturday, March 7, 2015
Saturday
It's Saturday this fine day here in Arizona. Not much going on, have to finish my project and then maybe get a massage. I am finding that doing this video series is a bit scary for me. I get nervous right before doing them, only do it one take, and then completely delete the video after I'm done so I don't have to watch it and think anything is bad. This is a project for me and so I am. Trying to enjoy it and help others in the process. Next week will be a little bit about myself and I am thinking that will be fun.
Nothing else really going on. I have so much to say and don't know where to start. So for now, I will just say, have a great day all!
Thursday, February 26, 2015
The magic of the tax refund....
I am somewhat of a strange one. I don't mind filing my taxes every year. I don't have any assets or property or anything of immense value to the government. I am self employed and yet, I look forward to getting that refund every year. In fact, I am usually most excited to find out that I don't owe the government any money.
But what to do with that chunk of change? Every year, I wish for the same thing. To take a vacation to the beach and relax. Not have to do anything, not really go see sights of anything like that, but, to just not have a care in the world for a few days. It still hasn't happened. I often wonder if it ever will. There are things that must get done, like, I have to get my contacts for the next year. And this year, I have to renew my license and get my continuing education credits to do so. I have things every year that must get done, like, our AAA membership and my massage insurance. So those are the have to's, but, what about the rest of it?
For us, it's about savings as much as we can. There are things that I would love to do, but, it's just not going to happen right now. And I know that we are working towards a goal. And I know that we will get there, but, it feels like it's light years away. I could use a break from that. Thomas could use a break from that. I'm sure Piper could use a break from it as well. I dream a lot. I always dream of not having to worry about money. And while, I know that things are always working out for us, there are moments that I can't shake that feeling of I want so much more. With all of our hopes and dreams and ideas and wants, I feel like it's all so very possible. But how? I don't pretend to know everything and I don't wish upon stars anymore, but, I could use some hope every once in a while.
I have hope that one day, before I turned another year older, I will have my bestseller out and people will read it and love it and buy it for their friends and family. I know it sounds optimistic but, I know that it's going to be big... I just have to get the lead out and get it done. Yet, I lack the drive and desire to do so. I have no inspiration, and no idea when it will come again. I hate that feeling.
I see on the internet all the time that there was a person who just started to do a blog or a video channel or write a book and they have instant fame and fortune. I look at them with envy. I admit it. I want that too. But, I feel like when I try the same things, it's a dead end. I write for myself because I'm pretty well convinced that that's the only one who reads it. I plan on doing a video series, the next one to come this week and I know, and this kills me, unless I advertise it on Facebook, none of my friends watch them. Thomas never reads what I say, he never watches my videos and honestly, his opinion is the only one that matters to me. As long as he's got my back, I know I can do anything.
I feel like this is a pity party for myself. So, with that, I will finish today's writing, and ponder what to do with extra money... maybe, I will buy a lottery ticket and win the jackpot. What would I worry about then, if I didn't have to think about money? I don't know, but, I would love the opportunity to find out. Happy Thursday all... Tomorrow is Friday, a new day, a new chance at greatness, a new breath of life...
But what to do with that chunk of change? Every year, I wish for the same thing. To take a vacation to the beach and relax. Not have to do anything, not really go see sights of anything like that, but, to just not have a care in the world for a few days. It still hasn't happened. I often wonder if it ever will. There are things that must get done, like, I have to get my contacts for the next year. And this year, I have to renew my license and get my continuing education credits to do so. I have things every year that must get done, like, our AAA membership and my massage insurance. So those are the have to's, but, what about the rest of it?
For us, it's about savings as much as we can. There are things that I would love to do, but, it's just not going to happen right now. And I know that we are working towards a goal. And I know that we will get there, but, it feels like it's light years away. I could use a break from that. Thomas could use a break from that. I'm sure Piper could use a break from it as well. I dream a lot. I always dream of not having to worry about money. And while, I know that things are always working out for us, there are moments that I can't shake that feeling of I want so much more. With all of our hopes and dreams and ideas and wants, I feel like it's all so very possible. But how? I don't pretend to know everything and I don't wish upon stars anymore, but, I could use some hope every once in a while.
I have hope that one day, before I turned another year older, I will have my bestseller out and people will read it and love it and buy it for their friends and family. I know it sounds optimistic but, I know that it's going to be big... I just have to get the lead out and get it done. Yet, I lack the drive and desire to do so. I have no inspiration, and no idea when it will come again. I hate that feeling.
I see on the internet all the time that there was a person who just started to do a blog or a video channel or write a book and they have instant fame and fortune. I look at them with envy. I admit it. I want that too. But, I feel like when I try the same things, it's a dead end. I write for myself because I'm pretty well convinced that that's the only one who reads it. I plan on doing a video series, the next one to come this week and I know, and this kills me, unless I advertise it on Facebook, none of my friends watch them. Thomas never reads what I say, he never watches my videos and honestly, his opinion is the only one that matters to me. As long as he's got my back, I know I can do anything.
I feel like this is a pity party for myself. So, with that, I will finish today's writing, and ponder what to do with extra money... maybe, I will buy a lottery ticket and win the jackpot. What would I worry about then, if I didn't have to think about money? I don't know, but, I would love the opportunity to find out. Happy Thursday all... Tomorrow is Friday, a new day, a new chance at greatness, a new breath of life...
Monday, February 23, 2015
Why do we watch it?
Yesterday, I went to the theater with my friend to go see 50 Shades of Grey. She had no expectations of the movie and I was curious to see why other friends were raving about it. I have not read the books, and maybe I will, maybe I won't.
We get there, to the 11.00 am showing of it and the theater has maybe four other couples in there... I like to watch movies early, especially this kind. Beat the rush kind of thing. We sit down with our popcorn and red vines and water. Watched 20 minutes of the movie house channel... I wish I had USA so I could watch the new show Dig, and then the previews start. There were the funny ones that I found myself wanting to buy a ticket for already, though, right now, I couldn't tell you anything about it, just that it looked fun.
The movie starts and I am taken in by it within the first few minutes... I have been really wanting to see what the hype was about, so, I am just waiting and wanting to like this movie from the get go. It's a fun thing, I enjoyed it. And then, the sex part came. And I was not taken back by it, but, I was surprised how well done and intense it was for a scene. The whole time, I am thinking wow, I'm sitting next to my best friend whom I would never watch something like this with, under normal circumstances. And then there was more sex and more of other things which I won't ruin for you if you haven't already seen it. The scenes, though well done, made me really uncomfortable to watch with Nessa next to me. I am not here to talk about the whole act of what he did to her. That part was completely consensual and nothing that happened was anything she didn't ask for. With that in mind, what am I talking about today? Well, here it is...
Why do we as a society think nothing of watching a movie that contains graphic violence, or play games that shows graphic violence and think nothing of it, and yet, when there is a movie that involves sex or hell any kind of affection, we shy away from it? Take the last movie in the Twilight series. The battle scene where it shows, in very clear detail, even more so with High Definition, people being slaughtered, blood spilt everywhere, throats being ripped out, people torn to shreds, so much violence holy shit is all I can say about it. But, suggest that anyone has sex, it's considered taboo. 50 Shades didn't leave much to the imagination, but, there were no penis's and you pretty much see her boobies a lot. Whatever, it's all good.
All I am saying here is for an act as natural as sex, why do we think it's so bad? Let's face it, if you have made it to adulthood, you have probably had some sort of desire that can be considered sexual in nature. And let's face it, at this very moment in time, out of 7 billion + people in the world, right now, how many are engaged in some sort of physically intimate act? I would venture to say, a whole lot of them. It's completely natural. Everything about it, and not only that, it makes you feel good. Your completion improves, your mood is elevated, you smile. It's the best feeling there is. To feel that intimate embrace of your partner. However, killing people is not natural. It's a fact of life, but it's not a natural thing. And we sit in front of our televisions and computers and tablets and phones and watch death all the time. Does it phase us to see the life fade out of someone's eyes, nope. Not at all. But two people kissing on screen and imply sex, that's not something we want our kids to watch.
I have to say, that sometimes, it can get loud in my room. I have had to tell Piper that it's Olympics and my bed squeaks and that is what it is. I am scared to death to tell her about sex, it's not something I want her to concern herself with, but, I seem to not have any problems with her watching things about death. I am just as guilty as the next person, but, I am not going to be that person anymore. I will not be afraid to talk to her about something like that. I will shy away from the horrors of the world, but, sex is not one of them.
And wow, people are up in arms about this movie. Stating it's the manner in which he seduces her. Why, it's not like BDSM is something that is new. I would say in some form it's been around as long as sex has been around. Which, has been forever. Those who have never tried anything like that, are comfortable in saying that it's gross or it's dirty or it's disgusting. Those who have either tried it, or live by it, know that it's got nothing to do with sex. It's about trust and control.
I have known many who have been into this lifestyle and it's not anything bad or gross, but to someone who has never seen or heard of it or read about it, then, I would say a word of caution. Keep in mind that this a movie based on a fictional book of make-believe characters who are larger than life. I have yet to ever met anyone with a room like that, though, everyone I know, wishes they had one, or at least, has thought about an ideal play room. I hope that you will see this and realize that in a book that is fiction, it's not meant to be taken as a real thing. This is someone's fantasy land and that's all. Does watching it make you friskies? I would say yes. Does everyone want to run out and buy a flogger? Not likely. Does it peak your curiosity as to what this really is like? For some, yes. For others, I am sure that they are turned off totally by it, but that's ok. They make lots of movies every year for everyone to either like or not. It's all a matter of personal preference.
If you want to go see it, then, take yourself out and go. If you don't want to see it, then don't go. I for one would much rather watch two people go at it, then two people tear each other apart... but that's just my opinion for today. I will be staying away from violence for a while, I can't understand the need for it so much these days. But I will be watching love... Good, fun, dirty, sloppy, wet love. Love really does make the world go around... Later...
We get there, to the 11.00 am showing of it and the theater has maybe four other couples in there... I like to watch movies early, especially this kind. Beat the rush kind of thing. We sit down with our popcorn and red vines and water. Watched 20 minutes of the movie house channel... I wish I had USA so I could watch the new show Dig, and then the previews start. There were the funny ones that I found myself wanting to buy a ticket for already, though, right now, I couldn't tell you anything about it, just that it looked fun.
The movie starts and I am taken in by it within the first few minutes... I have been really wanting to see what the hype was about, so, I am just waiting and wanting to like this movie from the get go. It's a fun thing, I enjoyed it. And then, the sex part came. And I was not taken back by it, but, I was surprised how well done and intense it was for a scene. The whole time, I am thinking wow, I'm sitting next to my best friend whom I would never watch something like this with, under normal circumstances. And then there was more sex and more of other things which I won't ruin for you if you haven't already seen it. The scenes, though well done, made me really uncomfortable to watch with Nessa next to me. I am not here to talk about the whole act of what he did to her. That part was completely consensual and nothing that happened was anything she didn't ask for. With that in mind, what am I talking about today? Well, here it is...
Why do we as a society think nothing of watching a movie that contains graphic violence, or play games that shows graphic violence and think nothing of it, and yet, when there is a movie that involves sex or hell any kind of affection, we shy away from it? Take the last movie in the Twilight series. The battle scene where it shows, in very clear detail, even more so with High Definition, people being slaughtered, blood spilt everywhere, throats being ripped out, people torn to shreds, so much violence holy shit is all I can say about it. But, suggest that anyone has sex, it's considered taboo. 50 Shades didn't leave much to the imagination, but, there were no penis's and you pretty much see her boobies a lot. Whatever, it's all good.
All I am saying here is for an act as natural as sex, why do we think it's so bad? Let's face it, if you have made it to adulthood, you have probably had some sort of desire that can be considered sexual in nature. And let's face it, at this very moment in time, out of 7 billion + people in the world, right now, how many are engaged in some sort of physically intimate act? I would venture to say, a whole lot of them. It's completely natural. Everything about it, and not only that, it makes you feel good. Your completion improves, your mood is elevated, you smile. It's the best feeling there is. To feel that intimate embrace of your partner. However, killing people is not natural. It's a fact of life, but it's not a natural thing. And we sit in front of our televisions and computers and tablets and phones and watch death all the time. Does it phase us to see the life fade out of someone's eyes, nope. Not at all. But two people kissing on screen and imply sex, that's not something we want our kids to watch.
I have to say, that sometimes, it can get loud in my room. I have had to tell Piper that it's Olympics and my bed squeaks and that is what it is. I am scared to death to tell her about sex, it's not something I want her to concern herself with, but, I seem to not have any problems with her watching things about death. I am just as guilty as the next person, but, I am not going to be that person anymore. I will not be afraid to talk to her about something like that. I will shy away from the horrors of the world, but, sex is not one of them.
And wow, people are up in arms about this movie. Stating it's the manner in which he seduces her. Why, it's not like BDSM is something that is new. I would say in some form it's been around as long as sex has been around. Which, has been forever. Those who have never tried anything like that, are comfortable in saying that it's gross or it's dirty or it's disgusting. Those who have either tried it, or live by it, know that it's got nothing to do with sex. It's about trust and control.
I have known many who have been into this lifestyle and it's not anything bad or gross, but to someone who has never seen or heard of it or read about it, then, I would say a word of caution. Keep in mind that this a movie based on a fictional book of make-believe characters who are larger than life. I have yet to ever met anyone with a room like that, though, everyone I know, wishes they had one, or at least, has thought about an ideal play room. I hope that you will see this and realize that in a book that is fiction, it's not meant to be taken as a real thing. This is someone's fantasy land and that's all. Does watching it make you friskies? I would say yes. Does everyone want to run out and buy a flogger? Not likely. Does it peak your curiosity as to what this really is like? For some, yes. For others, I am sure that they are turned off totally by it, but that's ok. They make lots of movies every year for everyone to either like or not. It's all a matter of personal preference.
If you want to go see it, then, take yourself out and go. If you don't want to see it, then don't go. I for one would much rather watch two people go at it, then two people tear each other apart... but that's just my opinion for today. I will be staying away from violence for a while, I can't understand the need for it so much these days. But I will be watching love... Good, fun, dirty, sloppy, wet love. Love really does make the world go around... Later...
Friday, February 20, 2015
Hail the conquering Hero
There are times in life when one must buck up and just do it. For me, I have finally done something the scares me a whole lot. I have put a video of myself online. I found in watching friends do this that I thought it was going to be easy. I set up my tripod, I was sitting in the bug and sat there watching myself in the reverse camera thinking ok. I can do this. And it was much more nerve racking than I had originally thought it would be. One of my friends did one for her Facebook page and ended up doing 38 takes for it. 38!!! Holy shit that seemed like so many to me and yet, there I was, nervous as can be about doing a video.
I did manage to do it, and I was pretty pleased about it. I decided to go with a video series on becoming a better you. It's going to be awesome. I'm nervous about it though. What if I sound dorky what if I look like a goober and mostly, I wonder what if people don't like it. I have to admit, I would take it personally. But I also know that to take it personally means that I have to really care what others think. And I have a confession to make. I do care. I care more than I will admit to. I want people to like me an I want people to have nice things to say about it.
Anyway, it's out there now and it's pretty cool. I am looking forward to next weeks video as well. So stay tuned, subscribe to my channel, see what awesome neat things you will learn. The link to it is here so check it out... It's going to be big :)
Night all 😎
I did manage to do it, and I was pretty pleased about it. I decided to go with a video series on becoming a better you. It's going to be awesome. I'm nervous about it though. What if I sound dorky what if I look like a goober and mostly, I wonder what if people don't like it. I have to admit, I would take it personally. But I also know that to take it personally means that I have to really care what others think. And I have a confession to make. I do care. I care more than I will admit to. I want people to like me an I want people to have nice things to say about it.
Anyway, it's out there now and it's pretty cool. I am looking forward to next weeks video as well. So stay tuned, subscribe to my channel, see what awesome neat things you will learn. The link to it is here so check it out... It's going to be big :)
Night all 😎
Friday, February 13, 2015
New goals and re-invention
I have been thinking the last few days about what do I want to accomplish for the next 5 years of my life... Not only what do I want to do, but, how am I going to get there as well. I have found that there are some things that I want to do, though I am not sure how it is possible. And there are some things that I only have less than awesome feelings about but I know I can do it if I set myself up to do it right.
To start with, my friend Ferris told me when I got out of the Navy that I had the power to reinvent myself at that point and be whatever I wanted to be. At the time I could only see myself as a sailor and that was it. I had no idea that I hold the key to my own destiny. It started slow, and gradually, I got to feel like a whole new person. This took a long time, and I had to go through a lot of heartache to get there. But to sum it up in the cliff notes version, I started simply. I dyed my hair. I had done blonde for long that I was just looking like I was trying to hard. So, while visiting my friend Naomi in Mayport for Christmas, she dyed my hair black. It was truly a switch and took a long time to get used to. Then I started to do little things that I wanted to do. I pierced things and some were totally new. I got new tattoos where I could see them, thanks to the courage I got from Sonya, who had done an entire sleeve and it looked beautiful. I started to see myself the way that I wanted to be. I decided to go back to school and become some things great. At the end of the whole adventure, I realized it had taken me about 3 to 4 years to get there, a lot of pain from breakups but, I was the person that I wanted to be now. So, I set off to do a whole lot of things. I was able to get some of it done, but there are parts that I have yet to complete.
As it stands, here is my new goals for the next 5 years.
6 Months
-Thai Massage Certified
-Two vehicles for the family, one being able to travel a bit in
1 Year
-Saved half of the money needed to move to the coast
-Work for myself totally
3 Years
-Moved to the Pacific Northwest
-Yoga Instructor
5 Years
-Own House with lap pool
-Be AWESOME DAILY
That's not a lot of goals, but once I see them there, I know that they aren't so hard that I can't do them. I know that it will take discipline and time and energy, but then again, anything worth doing, is worth doing right, so that's why there is the time frames the way they are.
As a part of this, I have decided to really put myself out there for the world to see. So, I will be adding something that to me is a scary thing. I will be putting out a video series on YouTube starting next week. The first series will be Becoming a Better You. I am not sure how many videos it will have, but, I am thinking at least 5 - 10. I will be putting one out a week and while this is really a big deal for me, I am hoping that by doing so, I will be able to help others see their worth and re0invent themselves too. The idea of re-inventing oneself is not new, people change all the time, but this is my way of helping others to do it in a way that clears out the bad shit in their lives, which could include shit-heads as well, and make them into a better version of the old them. So, stay tuned for that. It's going to be big :)
Anyhow, hope you all have a great weekend, and so for now, I am off for the weekend... Until Monday, be bad :) Look for the new video, I will let you all know when it will be up. Hooray for new and exciting things!!!
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
5 Year Goals
Nearly 5 years ago, I was in massage school and we had to put out our 5 year goals... Let me review mine for you... Let's see, it's starts out:
6 month goals...
Finish School and get my massage License.. Check
Sky Dive over the Pacific Ocean.. Not check
To Quit Lowes... Check
1 Year Goal
Finish my Thai Massage Cert...Not Check
Piper in Pre-school...Check at third grade now
Increased clientele to 20 per week... Somewhat check
3 Year Goal
Finish Yoga instructor... not check
Be in a house, mine or rented...somewhat check
Increase clientele to 25 per week... Somewhat Check
5 Year Goal
Open my own wellness center... Not Check
Tummy Tuck and cosmetic dentistry... Not Check
Have Piper in a school that promotes healthy creativity.... Not sure
So, I have done some of things that I wanted to and some things like they are going to take me a million years to get to. I am working on the Thai Massage this year for my CEU's for my license which is another goal down. I don't know about ski diving over the ocean, there is no clear cut landing area that doesn't have the potential to have predators there. And we all know what a total wuss I am when it comes to getting into the ocean. Piper is now in third grade, so that's going well.... maybe... my clients, well, I am thinking about cutting back on that part and seeing about going with maybe 6 a week on my own, doing my mobile thing. Yoga instructor... Well, I have looked and found something that I really want to be a part of. Sadly there are no schools close to me so it either involves moving or moving. I have found a class that I really would like to be part of. I am hoping to see into their online course. It won't get me the cert that I want, but, it's a step in the right direction. Fixing my teeth... hahahahahahahahaha, I did have a tooth get chipped and that was fixed and now looks a whole lot better than it did. I almost like the way it looks. Tummy tuck is still pretty far off, and really, it's not that big of a deal to me anymore. I know what I am and I know what I am not, so it's all good. In a house... That would be lovely.
I am looking at these goals and I am realizing that I need to rewrite them and see what I can and cannot do. I am hoping for only good things and an easy way to get there. That's not always the way it goes, but, it's nice to think so. Anyhow, that's all for now... Until tomorrow :)
6 month goals...
Finish School and get my massage License.. Check
Sky Dive over the Pacific Ocean.. Not check
To Quit Lowes... Check
1 Year Goal
Finish my Thai Massage Cert...Not Check
Piper in Pre-school...Check at third grade now
Increased clientele to 20 per week... Somewhat check
3 Year Goal
Finish Yoga instructor... not check
Be in a house, mine or rented...somewhat check
Increase clientele to 25 per week... Somewhat Check
5 Year Goal
Open my own wellness center... Not Check
Tummy Tuck and cosmetic dentistry... Not Check
Have Piper in a school that promotes healthy creativity.... Not sure
So, I have done some of things that I wanted to and some things like they are going to take me a million years to get to. I am working on the Thai Massage this year for my CEU's for my license which is another goal down. I don't know about ski diving over the ocean, there is no clear cut landing area that doesn't have the potential to have predators there. And we all know what a total wuss I am when it comes to getting into the ocean. Piper is now in third grade, so that's going well.... maybe... my clients, well, I am thinking about cutting back on that part and seeing about going with maybe 6 a week on my own, doing my mobile thing. Yoga instructor... Well, I have looked and found something that I really want to be a part of. Sadly there are no schools close to me so it either involves moving or moving. I have found a class that I really would like to be part of. I am hoping to see into their online course. It won't get me the cert that I want, but, it's a step in the right direction. Fixing my teeth... hahahahahahahahaha, I did have a tooth get chipped and that was fixed and now looks a whole lot better than it did. I almost like the way it looks. Tummy tuck is still pretty far off, and really, it's not that big of a deal to me anymore. I know what I am and I know what I am not, so it's all good. In a house... That would be lovely.
I am looking at these goals and I am realizing that I need to rewrite them and see what I can and cannot do. I am hoping for only good things and an easy way to get there. That's not always the way it goes, but, it's nice to think so. Anyhow, that's all for now... Until tomorrow :)
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